Introvert/Extrovert

[Misanthrope]

I’m not exactly sure what I am. I thrive in solitude. I think silence is beautiful and very much enjoy quiet contemplation, and I get internally annoyed when people act like a beautiful silence that I’m trying to enjoy is a vacuum that needs to be filled with inane noise. I’m not particularly chatty, and often come across as reserved to the point of borderline aloofness.

Part of it is because I don’t feel like I have anything of interest to say, part of it is I’m usually not deeply interested in small talk, and as someone who enjoys minding my own business and letting other people be, I’m even less interested in gossip. Part of it is also the fact that I’m deaf and have communication anxiety, so I’ll go out of my way to avoid unnecessary meatspace interactions.

Part of it is a also feeling of being old and not knowing what to make of a lot of changes in society—I frequently find myself torn between wondering if people are just being overly precious and delicate because parents mysteriously stopped spanking the stupid out of their kids 30 years ago, or wondering if maybe I’ve turned into my grandparents and need to chill out because it’s a good thing that society is changing into something that’s kinder and gentler.

On the other hand...with family, coworkers, friends, and online acquaintances, you’d think I was the complete opposite of everything I just described. I guess I’m a bit of both: introverted around strangers, but more of an extrovert around people I’m comfortable with.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I’ve been guilty of thinking with my mouth open which can be challenging for those around me.

I think this plays a lot into introvert verses extrovert. My extroverted friends seem to just throw out ideas, talking as they think, which makes them engaging and interesting to listen to. Whereas, my whole life I come across as a little dim or slow, because I have to reflect a little before speaking, sometimes leaving a gap in conversations. One on one, this gives no problems. But, in a group, where there are so many people who are chomping at the bit to interject their ideas as they speak, I never get a word in edgewise.

When I was the head of my pipe club, I overcame a lot of this with props and antics, somewhat how I handle coaching debate. I use my hands, my pipe, tapping a wineglass with my spoon. Quieting down a room, as I gather my thoughts, before speaking. The use of hanging conjunctions as I speak... and... it buys me a few milliseconds to prepare to speak.

Online, I can better come across as quick witted. In person, my speaking tricks, just makes me seem wiser than I really am.

 

[tobefrank]

I have often wondered if pipe smoking attracts more introverts. This thread seems to confirm that.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I have often wondered if pipe smoking attracts more introverts. This thread seems to confirm that.

It's definitely something better practiced in solitude, as opposed to big crowds.
Like bagpipes

 

[mso489]

Probably most of us are some kind of combination, based on circumstances, mood, and motivation. I've been intrigued once or twice at my former work place when extremely shy people were induced to speak, who are visibly nervous and tremorous when they start out, but once they get rolling and a little stage struck, it is hard to get them to stop talking. I think some actors are shy people who feel licensed to perform when given a role and an audience (or with video or film a potential audience). Some extreme extroverts become anxious without another person around, depending on another or others for a sense of themselves. Someone said of John Lennon that when he was left alone, it was like he felt he didn't exist.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I've been intrigued once or twice at my former work place when extremely shy people were induced to speak, who are visibly nervous and tremorous when they start out,

I don't think shy people are necessarily introverted. However, I do think that it is a mistaken association most of us laymen make. However, most shyness probably stems from a social anxiety or other maladies, and that can effect introverts as well as extroverts, making some extroverts harder to identify.
I definitely don't know everything, but I do remember perking up in psych class for this. If I am wrong, maybe one of our more knowledgeable resident psyche teachers or doctors will correct me.

 

[cigrmaster]

This. What Cigr said. Called survival.
And people shouldn't confuse Introvert with manners.

Insty, I was once in a meeting with the building inspector and the mayor of Warwick Rhode Island. There were also attorney's and engineers from some of the largest insurance companies in the world. Chubb, St Paul,Sentry and my company CNA.. I had my lawyer with me , my engineer and my insurance company attorney and it was like 12-4 I against me. In the middle of the meeting, I stood up and called the building inspector a lying fucking cunt who should be in jail getting fucked in the ass. Then I told the mayor he was a lying sack of shit and I was going to make it my mission in life to see him get fucked in the ass.

My lawyer couldn't hold back and started laughing his ass off. The insurance company attorneys looked at me like I was about to pull out a gun and shoot them all. The engineer for my insurance company had no idea what to make of me, he just stared at me with a stupid expression on his face.

I abused the shit out of all the competition against me and my 3 guys backed me and my lawyer could be as nasty as me so we were a perfect match. He also happened to be one of my best friends . I can guarantee those insurance and engineer pukes had never been abused like what I had done to them. When the meeting was over, they knew they were going to pay every fucking dime I asked for plus my vig I was angling for. My builder let me skim 10 % off the top as he was also a friend of mine.

That was one fucking great day.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I was going to make it my mission in life to see him get fucked in the ass.

Well, everyone needs a goal or hobby... whatever floats your boat. No judgement here.

 

[cigrmaster]

You sleep 12 hours a night!!!

I like my sleep, what can I say. Try working over 100 hours a week month after month with no days off. Or 65-70 hours a week with one day off. The car business I got one day off, The over 100 hour a week job was my own business.

 

[cigrmaster]

Well, everyone needs a goal or hobby... whatever floats your boat. No judgement here.

Cos, I also wanted the mayor in jail but his family owns Rhode Island.

 

[kcghost]

I hate most real extroverts. As a lifelong introvert and intensely shy I am usually the last person you would want to take to a party of strangers. Of course, my wife has never met a stranger. When I used to take business trips I would get on the plane with a book in hand. Settle into my seat and begin reading. As sure as there are birds in the sky some joker comes in, sits down by me and immediately begins asking me something about a subject that he is interested in. What the hell buddy wasn't the book a clue. No, extroverts just have to chat everybody up.