Introvert/Extrovert

[Chasing Embers]

Fully introvert. Every job and interest I've pursued involves a lot of alone time.

 

[bullet08]

I just don't like to deal with people all that much. I have good friends, and I can handle others fine. I just don't like small talk and unnecessary need to carry a conversation. I would rather read a book, listen to music or smoke a pipe. Or all three at the same time. Or something. Just not the mindless flipping of lips.

 

[philobeddoe]

 

[philobeddoe]

 

[Country Bladesmith]

I’m really an introvert with an extrovert’s job (educator/coach/mentor). Sounds like I’m in good company, with @cosmicfolklore and @uprightman . I am certainly not antisocial, but I do get exhausted from communicating with others all day ?. I really do think it’s more taxing for us introverts to hold verbal conversation all day. I can certainly be outgoing and do all the things that come naturally to extroverts, but it wears me out!

 

[hawky454]

I have always been an extreme introvert and I joke that it borders on being close to agoraphobia but I’m not far off from that. It is a struggle, socializing is extremely exhausting and as you stated it really does take time for me to recover after social events. I used to drink to help me loosen up but I was just self medicating and it was not really benefiting me in anyway so I left it behind. The older I get the more I am able except that I am an introvert but it still can be hard in the work place and what not. People often think I’m rude or conceited as I’m not much of a talker so yeah forums are best for me. I really have to force myself to date, that is also exhausting so I take some time off pretty frequently. My brothers are both extreme extroverts so they have a hard time understanding my point of view. I am human so I need to socialize to a certain extent but for the most part my daughter and my family are enough for me. It seems most people were totally losing it during the lock down but that was an introverts dream! My life was really not negatively impacted by it in the slightest. There were more pros than cons during the lockdown for the severe introverts of the world. It was quite a relief to be honest.

Edit* I agree with Cosmic I am a big mix of both an introvert and someone who has great anxiety. I wouldn’t call it social anxiety though, my anxiety does rise in social events but I’m constantly anxious! Always have been since I was just a wee bitty lad.

 

[instymp]

If you want to make big money in sales or own your won business, you had better be an extrovert. I was at the top of the extrovert scale during my business career.

Now I am retired I am much more an introvert. I have no need to dominate other people so I can make money off of them. I have a few friends I am still an extrovert with as that is my normal behavior, but I have toned down quite a bit from my peak.

This. What Cigr said. Called survival.
And people shouldn't confuse Introvert with manners.

 

[hawky454]

The ringing of a phone horrifies me, no matter what or who. I can't carry a cell phone turned on.

I’m exactly the same. My phone is always on silent, I hate when the phone rings, it’s weird because I have no problem talking on the phone I just don’t like to. That is a problem in the dating world as most woman want to talk talk talk! Ugh!

 

[workman]

I think I confuse people. Like many introverts, under some circumstances, I handle speaking to an audience well. I enjoy holding the attention of a group for a while. I'm a fair story teller and anecdote teller. On the other hand, I can go for weeks without a conversation with anyone other than my wife. The ringing of a phone horrifies me, no matter what or who. I can't carry a cell phone turned on. After I've had a conversation with someone I don't know well, I beat myself up remembering what I said "wrong," even though I am habitually tactful. Social engagement is not mostly pleasing. When people are angry or rude, that tends to end my social contacts for a month. I work around all this. I work independently quite well, am usually happy with my own company, and have had good personal relationships, though my own emotional distancing means that it takes other people years to realize that I more trustworthy than most. I knew one of my late wife's friends for years before she knew I was a military veteran. So that's a clue about how I am.

This is a pretty good description of me. There is even some stuff in there that I wasn't aware of until now.
This thread is enlightening to me. I've always felt introvert, but I can easily hold a speech and be funny for a while. I understand now that those things aren't mutually exclusive.
My wife is an extrovert bordering on AD/HD, and it can be exhausting at times. I love her, so we make it work.
Anyway, good thread man, I'm following this one.

 

[jerseysam]

I'm either a learned extrovert or a large personality introvert. While not shy growing up, I felt more at ease in a small group settings than being the center of attention. Through my career, I've worked through Sales, high-conflict roles in M&A, and now have a couple hundred folks roll up to me as a senior COE leader. In that path you learn to operate as a 24-7 extrovert or you perish. And sadly that's literal as well as figurative, as I've had two peer execs pass from heart attacks this year with the stress of managing the P&L during Covid.

To this day though, especially if I'm coming off a long meeting set or a very interpersonal-centric set of actions......I need a couple days just to crash quietly in my bar, read a book, and smoke a cigar/pipe or two out on the deck. I'm not at all stressed to play the extrovert and would frankly be more stressed to not have the ball in my hands....but it damn well does take energy/effort for me.

 

[hawky454]

I don't know about businessmen needing to be extroverted. I can work one on one with any customer. In fact after 30 years of doing it. I don't remember once having to address more than one person at a time. And, as an introvert, I am a great listener, which is something that customers really want in a salesman. It probably just matters more what type of business someone is talking about.

I like this kind of business man. I stay away from the salesman that tries to “dominate” me to make money off of me. You know, the kind of guy that tries to grip your fingers in a handshake so you only have the ability to limp wrist it while they pull the alpha dog bullshit handshake and squeeze as hard as they can to establish the alpha role.

 

[rajangan]

I test right on the midline.

People use the introvert label as an excuse based on these ideas of being recharged, etc. Recharged is a pseudo scientific term that means nothing, or whatever you want. What is being recharged?

What we describe as introverted and extroverted is only the signs and symptoms, not the intrinsic being of a person.

Ultimately, what is happening is that introverts have a high resting brain activity that takes practice to avoid being overwhelmed. Extroverts have a low resting brain activity, so they are compelled to do stuff in order to bring it up. (essentially, it is a mild form of ADD)

 

[jmill208]

I’m introverted for sure. Managing people in my business demands a level of control and authority that doesn’t come naturally to me, but I make it work. I’m also very social with people I know. Being alone is my time to be calm and reflect. I value that.

 

[uprightman]

I’m really an introvert with an extrovert’s job (educator/coach/mentor). Sounds like I’m in good company, with @cosmicfolklore and @uprightman . I am certainly not antisocial, but I do get exhausted from communicating with others all day ?. I really do think it’s more taxing for us introverts to hold verbal conversation all day. I can certainly be outgoing and do all the things that come naturally to extroverts, but it wears me out!

I feel that last bit in my soul.

 

[olkofri]

Antisocial ≠ asocial.

 

[warren]

Antisocial ≠ asocial.

Did someone say say the terms were synonymous? Certainly not me.

 

[derhammer]

INTJ

 

[mikethompson]

Fellow introverts, or those thinking of joining us, take a look at this book. I read it while awaiting jury selection one day as I was surrounded by extroverts.

 

[Country Bladesmith]

INFJ-A, if you believe in all that social science hokum ?

 

[olkofri]

I actually go by the Four Temperaments.