I Bring You The Pipe Turds

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warren

Lifer
Sep 13, 2013
12,281
18,262
Foothills of the Chugach Range, AK
I believe we have lost our focus here. At some point we were discussing pipes shaped like turds or, was it turds which resembled turds. The stench became so bad that buroak passed out from holding his breath.
So, where did the "turd" shape originate? I think it originated as a Danish "freehand" back in the 60s. Pictures?

 
Mar 1, 2014
3,658
4,960
Well this has been interesting.

After looking at some of the Briarworks pipes I did a bit of reading on airways and people's thoughts on the quality of various brands, focusing somewhat on Ashton, being as that I own one and it seems to have a gurgle problem.

Ironically my Ferndown (my only other high end pipe) has all sorts of characteristics I don't like (the draft hole isn't flush with the bottom of the bowl, thick button with a sharp transition in the airway, hard to pass a cleaner), and yet it smokes fantastically. I read that some people will do filework on almost any pipe to enlarge the airway, it seems that may be in order with my Ashton.

So this sends me on a quest to find a pipemaker that ticks all the boxes. Good luck, almost no-one even shows you the button, let alone describes the internals, and most reviews don't bother with that kind of detail either.

Briarworks definitely gives a lot of good information, but I wish they would go further (yes, my curiosity is insatiable). The question I still have with Briarworks is how do they determine which stems get filework on the corners in the airway? (the transition from a round passage to flared just before the button)

If you look at the translucent stems at various retailers you can see that some of the pipes have had filework in the air passage, and others not, and there doesn't seem to be any correlation between price or brand and the shape of the airway.

I've heard from many places that this is one of those little details that can make a big difference, and that being said I would expect it to be a feature on either all of the stems or none of them. Seeing stems randomly filed or not is somewhat bizarre (Briarworks isn't the only one though, I know some of my Vauen pipes have the airway smoothed out and others don't, again there seems to be no correlation between price and the shape of the airway).

In the end the only maker I could find with absolute consistency in keeping the same shape with a wide open draw was Missouri Meershchaum. Going on the theory that a wider air passage is better they should have the best pipes in the world. I had a few of those already, but now I have a few more.

 

sablebrush52

The Bard Of Barlings
Jun 15, 2013
20,672
48,795
Southern Oregon
jrs457.wixsite.com
So I went to the pipemakersforum site to read the thread from which the opening quote was taken. I was curious to see how it was viewed by other pipe makers. It was both interesting and eyeopening to say the least. The direction of that thread may be described as 180˚ opposite to the direction that this thread took. The posters support Todd Johnson's statement and his efforts. They view what he is about as being beneficial to their craft and that the field is awash in high priced junk being pushed on an ill informed market, a situation that they view as being injurious to their livelihood.
The comment regarding the publishing of Todd's statement in other social media and in this specific thread is that it, and I quote, "loosed the hounds of hell". To get a different perspective on this topic, read the original thread in the pipemakersforum.

 
As when this thread was started, I am still not clear on exactly who he is talking about being the makers of turds. Which ones are the turds, the ones offered by a bystander on this thread? Or, is it all of the Etsy pipe makers, as suggested also? Or, is this some group of pipemakers that I am just not familiar with? Or, is this just a rant in general at some abstract thing that people on that site bring up occasionally?
If I were an artisan on some forum, and a "hero" of mine started ranting like a thug about the "bad ones", I don't think I would post that I was offended, putting myself in the "bad" category, I might jump in also, thinking myself in the same side of good and evil as my "hero." But, that is just my own armchair psychology, ha ha.
I think my own posts on here were mostly just snarky questions for the angry guy to make sure those words weren't pointed to me. Why is the successful businessman acting like a thug? Is this from frustration or disappointment from not selling his product? Just curiosity. Figuring out why the train wrecked sort of thing.
90% of why I would buy from the artist I buy from, whether it be pipes, pottery, woodcraft, leatherwork, etc.. isn't the superiority of the product (but a percentage is that i deem the work solid and good), but that I like, respect, and want to support that artist. I do not buy or want to support people who are jerk in my opinion. Joe Schmoe may make a hell of a Raku teapot, but if the experience doesn't give me the warm and fuzzies, the transaction is not made.
I don't think that Todd's pipes are inferior in any way. In fact he has a great idea in making all of the stummels widgit mass productions and then having a trained stem maker fit a quality stem to it, as I think we would agree the stem is where the tires meet the road. So, great pipes, if you like those few stummels designs of his.
My whole participation in this would merely be, is this a personality that I want to buy a pipe from if I was wanting one of these? And, ha ha, why did the great pipemaker shoot himself in the foot?

 

moriarty

Starting to Get Obsessed
Feb 3, 2012
144
1
This is good, though. There hasn't been a decent controversy in the pipe world for ages. We might be making history here.
And there's lots more great material in that PMF thread. Like the bits near the end where several pipe makers start asking whether their pipes are turds or not, and Todd tells them they make good pipes, just not as good as his. Or the bit near the beginning where Todd explains that his pipes are made by a bunch of unskilled lackeys who were barely capable of speech when he hired them but, after a couple of weeks being trained by the father of American pipemakers, they are each now the equal of Lars Ivarsson. I'm paraphrasing, but only a little.

 
And, another issue that has weighed heavily on my mind since this started was something that our Zack brought up. I am mostly introverted when it comes to crowds. I mean, I can be outgoing among friends, but for the most part I chose a career that has me setting by myself at a bench all day all in my own world and imagination. The idea of going to a big event is a challenge for me. I don't go to concerts or big conventions, so going to a pipe show gives me quite a bit of anxiety in and of itself. However, I had been thinking about going to the one in Nashville, but if these pipe makers that I see their work day in and day out on the internets are really a bunch of thugs like Todd has given us a glimpse of and those guys who cuss a lot on that video, and there is some gang rift among pipemakers, then I know I don't want to go. I had rather not be disillusioned by this. I'd rather think Tinsky is a guy who works alone in a mountain top shed somewhere, or Todd Johnson is a meek little hermit on a hill. Or, I'll just make my own pipes or stick to Danish and Italian factory pipes, or just buy from my B&M, which is what I will most likely do anyways.
Like I said earlier, 90% of a transaction for me, is the warm and fuzzies. I don't want to go and be around scary looking dudes who cuss and fart. And, especially if there is some sort of rift or class split, social dynamic. Nothing wrong with guys like that. I just don't want to be in and among them in a crowd.
Yeh, just as I am typing this I am making up my mind not to go. I can live vicariously through the guys who do go and post their pictures. For me personally, I just don't need the anxiety. It wouldn't be worth having to suffer the crowds. My money is better going to what and who I want to support from afar.

 

mcitinner1

Lifer
Apr 5, 2014
4,043
25
Missouri
Michael, crowds are something I don't like much anymore either. That and the weather this past Saturday made me decide to skip the St Louis show. I'm also not really into spending what even a modest priced pipe maker gets for a handmade. I do enjoy reading about others experiences at the shows though.

 
Uggg!!!
And frozenchurchwarden, on that link - briarworksintl.com/pipe-education/ Todd once again looks like an ass, telling other pipemakers what and what not to do, and furthermore insures that I would never wasn't one of his bad ju ju pipes. I don't think after reading his further chastisement of other pipemakers...

"...such upstart pipe makers selling their first, or third, or tenth pipe online for hundreds of dollars, would be better served if they would use a good quality stem blank..."
Why does he use advertising (to me) space to say anything at all about other pipemakers? Once again he is stepping on smaller guys to make himself look like a self-proclaimed God. Does he want to influence other pipemakers or sell me a pipe? Which is it? Does he make more money from training other pipemakers or selling a product? I can't figure it out. I refuse to read the whole thing, it just turns my stomach. Let him be an influence on other pipemakers and he can keep his pipes. Maybe he can use them as an example to these other guys he seems more interested in influencing. It's egotistical, obnoxious, and shows that his customer service guy that posted that Briarworks is not interested in chastising other pipemakers is a lie, saying "anything" to smooth over his potential consumer base.
The more I look at this stuff from him, the more I get pissed. I am so glad I don't have one of his pipes, I'd have to crush it under the heel of my boot to get rid of the bad ju ju that thing would bring.
Everyone else can like or dislike what they want. We are all influenced by different things, and you big boys are smart enough to make up your own minds, but not a dime of my money will go to this jerk.
OK, I am over this thread. That is all I will have needed to see and say.

 

uncleblackie

Starting to Get Obsessed
Dec 20, 2014
280
10
This thread has been both tedious and entertaining.
What a great 5000th post cosmicfolklore.

 

pitchfork

Lifer
May 25, 2012
4,030
611
Other pipe makers have been know to be, um, opinionated, too.
There are loads of stories about pipe designer (not maker) Ed Burak of Connoisseur Pipes. Ditto for Julius Vesz, who, contra Todd Johnson, swears by "dead root" briar.
It's a fun hobby we have and this has been an exceptionally entertaining thread.
And Michael, be careful what kind of pipe you crush under your heel. You know what kind I'm talking about. :lol:

 

desertpipe

Might Stick Around
Nov 13, 2014
98
0
Most Pipe Shows are a mix of new and restored pipes (Nashville, as I understand it being the exception), and the Show itself is just a part of the overall experience. I invite you to come out to the West Coast Show in November, and experience the camaraderie that starts on Thursday and runs through Monday morning. Attendance has expanded my enjoyment of the hobby, and meeting folks from here and other forums enhances my enjoyment long after the Show ends.

 

moriarty

Starting to Get Obsessed
Feb 3, 2012
144
1
Most pipe makers are truly fine people. We should not extrapolate from one or two who have been caught exhibiting a less endearing aspect of their personalities. And, whilst Todd probably earned this slap-down, none of us is perfect either. Cosmic, I'm sure the Nashville show would be great to see.

 

uncleblackie

Starting to Get Obsessed
Dec 20, 2014
280
10
I wonder if there is an unknown to us Turkish website where Fikri Baki expresses his distaste for lesser meerschaum carvers. I would back him up. :)

 
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