How to Disable Wife's Sense of Smell

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mordy18

Can't Leave
Mar 12, 2019
381
1,370
Northern New Jersey
I never smoke inside. Usually on the back deck with doors and windows closed. Inevitably my wife comes downstairs and complains that the house stinks. She must have super smell. And we are talking one bowl a day at most. It's really irritating. Other than giving her COVID (Gd forbid), I'm at a loss. Maybe if I stop showering that will distract her. Or time to convert the garage into a smoking den I guess. Sorry, just venting.
 

Infantry23

Part of the Furniture Now
Nov 8, 2020
756
1,980
44
Smithsburg, Maryland
I completely understand your predicament. My wife, on the otherhand, actually likes some of the aromatic room notes and is tolerant of me smoking in my office or in our parlor. Pipe smoke tends to dissipate pretty quickly which is nice because I doubt she'll like it lingering for days on end. However, I do try to smoke outside any time that the weather is nice enough to permit it.
For your situation, perhaps smoking downwind of your home would prevent the smoke from filtering in somehow. Maybe it's the power of suggestion or maybe she smells it on your person?
 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,610
As the old straw goes, you can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em. I was married, then a widower, and now remarried again, and by some odd chance, both wives were heavy cigarette smokers who eventually quit. I've never been asked to smoke outdoors or not to smoke, though I quit smoking in solidarity with my first wife in quitting a really heavy cigarette habit. Rarely my second wife will comment on the smell of a blend, mostly positive, sometimes negative. I was surprised at how many Forums members smoke entirely outside in consideration of their wives, but that's what I'd do if asked. If your wife can smell your smoking on the porch, I'd smoke further away from the house. If she's still smelling your pipe, it is likely on your clothes. You could have a special jacket to leave hung outside under shelter. After that, I think your wife is getting far-fetched and just doesn't want you to smoke, which is a different issue. The positive spin there is that she fears losing you to tobacco related health issues.
 

Toast

Part of the Furniture Now
Feb 15, 2021
662
1,331
UK
I might smoke on the porch all the time if she moved all her room fresheners & candles (which habit predates my pipes) outside too. They'd need to be on the other side of the house though. Urgh!
 
Mar 11, 2020
1,404
4,480
Southern Illinois
I have never understood the going outside to smoke. I smoke wherever I want last time I checked I live there too I dont complain when she watches some chick flick. But I have a great wife who never complains about my drinking large amounts of alcohol or smoking or chewing I did these when we met and wont stop now