Decided to Change My Name

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mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
38,614
49,143
I wonder if these names are expressive and embody some kind of narrative, like, an eagle pushed sideways in the wind endeavoring to descend swiftly on a mouse hiding under a palm leaf wanting to see its mate and family again if only the shadow will hide it from the eagle who it turns out has just eaten anyway. It seem there must be some information clothed in such length.

So there you are in boot camp, and it's mail call, and they actually have learned to pronounce your name and rattle it off, and then another recruit immediately asks: "Which one?"
 

kurtbob

Lifer
Jul 9, 2019
2,043
12,310
56
SE Georgia
I feel a spiritual connection to two geographic names. The first is a hill in New Zealand, and the second is a town in Wales:

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch​


The problem is that bureaucracies suffer from spaceism. As in, they are spaceist. The forms 'n' shit that you're always filling out at their request don't allow for enough characters for people with long names.

And that situation causes me anxiety and a bit of outrage. Like, you can't be bothered to provide enough form space for members of the abundantly-lettered-name community?

So, naturally, being American, I want to sue 'em for emotional distress & etc.

Anyone know a lawyer who specializes in such things?

Also, which of the two names do you think suits me best? I find them equally appealing, so will go with the one that other people seem to like. (Only one chance to make a first impression, right?)
Just sayin, may be more trouble than it’s worth!


????
 

kurtbob

Lifer
Jul 9, 2019
2,043
12,310
56
SE Georgia
I feel a spiritual connection to two geographic names. The first is a hill in New Zealand, and the second is a town in Wales:

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch​


The problem is that bureaucracies suffer from spaceism. As in, they are spaceist. The forms 'n' shit that you're always filling out at their request don't allow for enough characters for people with long names.

And that situation causes me anxiety and a bit of outrage. Like, you can't be bothered to provide enough form space for members of the abundantly-lettered-name community?

So, naturally, being American, I want to sue 'em for emotional distress & etc.

Anyone know a lawyer who specializes in such things?

Also, which of the two names do you think suits me best? I find them equally appealing, so will go with the one that other people seem to like. (Only one chance to make a first impression, right?)
If you did take the first name someone may try an “mow” you……or worse!
 
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georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
3,507
4,380
Just sayin, may be more trouble than it’s worth!


????

Now that's just silly. Deer and humans are genetically different. Enough that a lab can easily distinguish the difference between tissue/DNA samples 100% of the time.

That's like saying a squid can turn itself into a tortoise, a cat can turn itself into a dog, or a male human can become a female one by simply wanting it badly enough.

Willpower doesn't work that way.

Indeed, the world doesn't work that way. (Ya had me going for a minute, though)
 

georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
3,507
4,380
I can't read this thread anymore. I'm going to retreat to my safe space, which luckily has a plenitude of old Brit wood and vintage tobacco, and try to forget this ever happened.

Note to board: "Plentitude" means 6600 pounds of pre-1970 Balkan-Sobranie, Escudo, John Cotton, and so forth in a temp controlled cave under his house.
 

jguss

Lifer
Jul 7, 2013
1,764
3,807
Note to board: "Plentitude" means 6600 pounds of pre-1970 Balkan-Sobranie, Escudo, John Cotton, and so forth in a temp controlled cave under his house.

We don’t like to talk about it but the cave is actually a National Park in Kentucky and it’s getting pretty full of tobacco. ‘Bout time for me and Ma to go spelunking for another one.
 

beefeater33

Lifer
Apr 14, 2014
3,847
5,296
Central Ohio
I'd go with the first one, George. Seems like it would be easier to say while clenching a pipe.
If someone asked your name when you were clenching, that second one just doesn't have enough vowels in it and you'd probably slobber everywhere, and they might haul you off in a straightjacket............
 

sablebrush52

The Bard Of Barlings
Jun 15, 2013
16,367
30,318
SoCal
jrs457.wixsite.com
Funny that jguss would comment on this thread, because something interesting regarding HIS name has dogged him his whole life.

Anyone who has been around him knows that anytime someone is NOT speaking---no matter where he is, outdoors, indoors, at home, restaurants, whatever---he shouts, "Yes? Yes? What? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, DAMMIT?" constantly. As in, non-stop any time there's silence.

Why? Because he insists his name---Jon Guss---is pronounced as follows.

Like so:

J - as in Fjord
O - as in Trouble
N- as in Autumn
G - as in Gnat
U - as in Guest
S - as in Island

Kinda whacky, right?

I chalk it up to him having grown up around Seattle, but I'm not sure if things were quite so, um... unusual as they are today when he was a kid.
So I did a phonetic combination of your construction of jguss's name and it comes out pretty close as a plural for the term used for the midpoint on the human body between the anus and the genitalia.
 

sablebrush52

The Bard Of Barlings
Jun 15, 2013
16,367
30,318
SoCal
jrs457.wixsite.com
I feel a spiritual connection to two geographic names. The first is a hill in New Zealand, and the second is a town in Wales:

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch​


The problem is that bureaucracies suffer from spaceism. As in, they are spaceist. The forms 'n' shit that you're always filling out at their request don't allow for enough characters for people with long names.

And that situation causes me anxiety and a bit of outrage. Like, you can't be bothered to provide enough form space for members of the abundantly-lettered-name community?

So, naturally, being American, I want to sue 'em for emotional distress & etc.

Anyone know a lawyer who specializes in such things?

Also, which of the two names do you think suits me best? I find them equally appealing, so will go with the one that other people seem to like. (Only one chance to make a first impression, right?)
Either of these would serve well as a password to protect your porn cache.
 

georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
3,507
4,380
I'd go with the first one, George. Seems like it would be easier to say while clenching a pipe.
If someone asked your name when you were clenching, that second one just doesn't have enough vowels in it and you'd probably slobber everywhere, and they might haul you off in a straightjacket............

Hey.

I already slobber everywhere, OK?

And, yes, there was a time when a straghtjacket (several of them, actually) was, um, part of my daily wardrobe...

I just think of the rest of the world being slobber-and-jacket challenged.

But you seem to be intimating those are BAD things...

Wait until the Slobber-and-Jacket Community hears about this...
 
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jguss

Lifer
Jul 7, 2013
1,764
3,807
Burbank, Florida? I believe it.

As it happens there is indeed a Burbank Florida, located northeast of Ocala and unfortunately lost beneath the waves many generations ago. Like fabled Atlantis it is renowned for its mermaids and other friendly aquatic life. You may think the lady in this photo is breathing air; it is, in fact, a powerful aphrodisiac for which we poor land dwellers have no name.

Bisset the Deep.jpg
 
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