Decided to Change My Name

[georged]

I feel a spiritual connection to two geographic names. The first is a hill in New Zealand, and the second is a town in Wales:

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch​

The problem is that bureaucracies suffer from spaceism. As in, they are spaceist. The forms 'n' shit that you're always filling out at their request don't allow for enough characters for people with long names.

And that situation causes me anxiety and a bit of outrage. Like, you can't be bothered to provide enough form space for members of the abundantly-lettered-name community?

So, naturally, being American, I want to sue 'em for emotional distress & etc.

Anyone know a lawyer who specializes in such things?

Also, which of the two names do you think suits me best? I find them equally appealing, so will go with the one that other people seem to like. (Only one chance to make a first impression, right?)

 

[jguss]

I feel a spiritual connection to two geographic names. The first is a hill in New Zealand, and the second is a town in Wales:

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch​

The problem is that bureaucracies suffer from spaceism. As in, they are spaceist. The forms 'n' shit that you're always filling out at their request don't allow for enough characters for people with long names.

And that situation causes me anxiety and a bit of outrage. Like, you can't be bothered to provide enough form space for members of the abundantly-lettered-name community?

So, naturally, being American, I want to sue 'em for emotional distress & etc.

Anyone know a lawyer who specializes in such things?

Also, which of the two names do you think suits me best? I find them equally appealing, so will go with the one that other people seem to like. (Only one chance to make a first impression, right?)

I don’t see the dilemma. Use one as your given name and the other as your surname.

 

[TheWhale13]

I'm different like that, my name is "X", no surname is needed. I always get upset that they allow too much space for longer names, we short-named people exist too.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

 

[georged]

I don’t see the dilemma. Use one as your given name and the other as your surname.

Damn, son. That's a FINE idea! Don't know why I didn't think of it.

It will make the space problem twice as bad, though...

(Life wasn't always this hard. What the hell is goin' on, I wonder?)

 

[Ahi Ka]

You know the meaning of the name in te reo Māori right??

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I don't know... I have enough trouble remembering Georged. I have to keep reminding myself that it is the past tense version of the last king of England.

 

[jguss]

You know the meaning of the name in te reo Māori right??

My first guess would have been “if you can read this you’re driving too close”, but after consulting the Wikipedia translation, "The summit where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, the slider, climber of mountains, the land-swallower who travelled about, played his kōauau (flute) to his loved one" I have to wonder if played his flute is some kind of euphemism.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

 

[georged]

Funny that jguss would comment on this thread, because something interesting regarding HIS name has dogged him his whole life.

Anyone who has been around him knows that anytime someone is NOT speaking---no matter where he is, outdoors, indoors, at home, restaurants, whatever---he shouts, "Yes? Yes? What? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, DAMMIT?" constantly. As in, non-stop any time there's silence.

Why? Because he insists his name---Jon Guss---is pronounced as follows.

Like so:

J - as in Fjord
O - as in Trouble
N- as in Autumn
G - as in Gnat
U - as in Guest
S - as in Island

Kinda whacky, right?

I chalk it up to him having grown up around Seattle, but I'm not sure if things were quite so, um... unusual as they are today when he was a kid.

 

[Ahi Ka]

My first guess would have been “if you can read this you’re driving too close”, but after consulting the Wikipedia translation, "The summit where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, the slider, climber of mountains, the land-swallower who travelled about, played his kōauau (flute) to his loved one" I have to wonder if played his flute is some kind of euphemism.

Yeah and another version is:

"The hill of the flute playing by Tamatea – who was blown hither from afar, had a slit penis, grazed his knees climbing mountains, fell on the earth, and encircled the land – to his beloved one".

 

[jguss]

Yeah and another version is:

"The hill of the flute playing by Tamatea – who was blown hither from afar, had a slit penis, grazed his knees climbing mountains, fell on the earth, and encircled the land – to his beloved one".

Thanks. I could have happily gone my whole life without knowing what I learned by foolishly clicking on that link.

 

[Ahi Ka]

Thanks. I could have happily gone my whole life without knowing what I learned by foolishly clicking on that link.

? I didn’t realise the copy/paste translation included a link to a dorsal slit. Apologies all round. Link removed.

 

[verporchting]

The new names are quite fetching and will certainly be much easier to remember and spell. Perhaps you could update your avatar to speak them in their entirety with a moving GIF? In a suitable feline lisping tone of course. That would be special. It would also please the moderators I would think. ?

 

[romaso]

 

[jguss]

? I didn’t realise the copy/paste translation included a link to a dorsal slit. Apologies all round. Link removed.

I removed it from my reply to your post too. But it's too late. I feel soiled, like I had been lured into a van lurking outside a playground.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Environmentalists say that every day we lose an area about the size of Wales... but, why is it never Wales?

 

[Ahi Ka]

I removed it from my reply to your post too. But it's too late. I feel soiled, like I had been lured into a van lurking outside a playground.

If it’s any consolation…I accidentally clicked on the link too…

 

[georged]

I feel soiled, like I had been lured into a van lurking outside a playground.

Do you mean felt it in an abstract way, or an experiential one?

(If the latter, know that it's never too late to call a helpline)

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Do you mean felt it in an abstract way, or an experiential one?