I should have mentioned the first just had a major change in her personality after a few years of marriage. She was a sweet fun living girl who turned into the biggest shrew on the planet.
Cosmic's Secrets To Marriage
- Thread starter cosmicfolklore
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One son. Had we not had a child, the marriage would have ended sooner, but I went through this "stay together for the sake of the children" bullshit that I had heard from my parents. When I realized that all we were presenting to our kid was a very unsuccessful marriage and a tense living situation it became clear that the sooner we split up and started the healing process, the better.
??Wonderful write up thank you. This kinda read gives one hope for humanity.
Personally i married my best friend and the greatest woman I've ever known at 20 unfortunately I'm a POS scumbag and nobody deserves that. Especially a good woman.
Finally tired of hating myself for breaking beautiful things. I decided years ago its just best i avoid the opposite sex and humanity in general. Will always admire greatly those of you capable of being better men.
The world need more of your kind.
I've been lucky in love, but fated for some misfortune. My late wife and I met in a grad program. She was teaching in the undergrad program, and I was on GI Bill. We had a strong bond along with romance, shared interests, keyed emotions. She was a full adult. I was sort of feral, but she brought me into human society. She had a fine academic career, and I had a job with benefits. We traveled, we had friends. Her folks wanted us to wait a year before marrying, figuring the magic would fade, but we were happy and went right on, and got married when the time came. It lasted for nearly 24 years when I lost her to an illness.
It was a long grieving time for me, years. When I was about to lose my dad, headed back to the home place to be with him and family, I got a call from a woman friend I'd known in undergrad school. We'd been good friends, but admittedly headed in different directions. She'd had me visit in NYC when I was a sailor between duty in Vietnam waters to Midway Island. Her long time partner had left her. We commuted between Long Island/NYC to North Carolina for four years, and made two trips to France and were married in 2010. Two extremely different women, but both intense about writing, editing, and books, and travel and cats. One the daughter of the South whose paternal grandmother wrote a hymn for the Daughters of the Confederacy. One the daughter of a World War One veteran and granddaughter of a covered wagon pioneer in the Midwest. One grew up partly on a tobacco farm, the other on a cattle farm in the Midwest. Both married once to this strange customer.
It was a long grieving time for me, years. When I was about to lose my dad, headed back to the home place to be with him and family, I got a call from a woman friend I'd known in undergrad school. We'd been good friends, but admittedly headed in different directions. She'd had me visit in NYC when I was a sailor between duty in Vietnam waters to Midway Island. Her long time partner had left her. We commuted between Long Island/NYC to North Carolina for four years, and made two trips to France and were married in 2010. Two extremely different women, but both intense about writing, editing, and books, and travel and cats. One the daughter of the South whose paternal grandmother wrote a hymn for the Daughters of the Confederacy. One the daughter of a World War One veteran and granddaughter of a covered wagon pioneer in the Midwest. One grew up partly on a tobacco farm, the other on a cattle farm in the Midwest. Both married once to this strange customer.
Lost our wedding pictures due to a Hurricane, wife found this one in a memento box a while back, lucky man I am.
We are all just works in progress. I am sure that you are a fine person and well deserving of the love of a good woman. Sometimes we are only as good as we want to be. I am sure that you are not a POS scumbag. All you have to do is realize that you aren't.
Wonderful write up thank you. This kinda read gives one hope for humanity.
Personally i married my best friend and the greatest woman I've ever known at 20 unfortunately I'm a POS scumbag and nobody deserves that. Especially a good woman.
Finally tired of hating myself for breaking beautiful things. I decided years ago its just best i avoid the opposite sex and humanity in general. Will always admire greatly those of you capable of being better men.
The world need more of your kind.
I was just out of high school and she was still a junior, dating my good buddy who had just started college 5 states away. I was driving my brand new car and saw her walking home from school and gave her a ride to ask her not to tell my buddy what I was driving so I could surprise him. The next night coming home from work at the same time, I saw her again and had to pick her up. They were not exclusive and I thought "what the heck" and asked her out.
Friday night after work, I get out of the shower and my buddy is at the door. "You know I'm taking your girlfriend out tonight, right?" "Yes" he said, "I already talked to her". I knew he didn't have a car so I offered to let him borrow my two week old car. (Say no, please say no). "That's OK", he said. (To hell with you, then.)
I really didn't want to come between them and a few months later ended up asking the recruiter to change my sign-up from reserves (with a 6 month wait list) to regulars.
Next month she and I will be married 51 years and she still gave me a pipe last Christmas.
Friday night after work, I get out of the shower and my buddy is at the door. "You know I'm taking your girlfriend out tonight, right?" "Yes" he said, "I already talked to her". I knew he didn't have a car so I offered to let him borrow my two week old car. (Say no, please say no). "That's OK", he said. (To hell with you, then.)
I really didn't want to come between them and a few months later ended up asking the recruiter to change my sign-up from reserves (with a 6 month wait list) to regulars.
Next month she and I will be married 51 years and she still gave me a pipe last Christmas.
My realtor once asked me what the best investment I ever made was, assuming I would say that it was our house. I merely pointed at my wife's engagement ring.
Just noticed a thread asking for help dating three nuns. What's this forum comng to? LOL!!
Before we were married, maybe 7 years inti dating…. Ms Cosmic discoved that some if her dresses were missing. We lived nextdoor to each other at this point. I discovered the missing dresses in my girl’s play/craft room. They were all cut to pieces to make new dresses with the sewing machine I had bought them. They were really into that sort of thing. I was furious and demanded they go next door and apologize and face Ms Cosmic’s wrath. They were all crying and said, “but we don't like her; you’re forcing her to be our mother.”
My jaw hit the floor, because I knew that I had their consent after years of us all being a big happy group. They were just lashing out at getting busted.
So, I walked them next door, knocked, and in front of them told Ms Cosmic that it wasn’t going to work. The girls didn’t like her, and we were officially “broke up.”
Ms Cosmic immediately knew what was going on with no wink wink from me. So she said, “ok, but my heart is beoken,” all dead pan, “I will miss your girls the most, but ok.”
I walked nextdoor and closed myself up in my room and started a cigar. Ten minutes later the girls had dragged Ms Cosmic over and begged her forgiveness and banged on my door to accept Ms Cosmic back.
Of course Ms Cos and I knew the gag. But we went through the getting back togather with a passionate kiss in front of them. This was the closest to an argument that we’ve ever had. Well, between us. Ms Cos has had some other himdinger scream out with the girls over the years. But, thos was when we all really bonded.
The girls still give Mrs Cos shit over coming home after we were married to find the girls having a teen party while I was at a pipe club meeting. All they have to do is scream, “GET THE FUCK OUT!” And we all crack up knowing what that is in reference to, ha ha. Inside family jokes.
My jaw hit the floor, because I knew that I had their consent after years of us all being a big happy group. They were just lashing out at getting busted.
So, I walked them next door, knocked, and in front of them told Ms Cosmic that it wasn’t going to work. The girls didn’t like her, and we were officially “broke up.”
Ms Cosmic immediately knew what was going on with no wink wink from me. So she said, “ok, but my heart is beoken,” all dead pan, “I will miss your girls the most, but ok.”
I walked nextdoor and closed myself up in my room and started a cigar. Ten minutes later the girls had dragged Ms Cosmic over and begged her forgiveness and banged on my door to accept Ms Cosmic back.
Of course Ms Cos and I knew the gag. But we went through the getting back togather with a passionate kiss in front of them. This was the closest to an argument that we’ve ever had. Well, between us. Ms Cos has had some other himdinger scream out with the girls over the years. But, thos was when we all really bonded.
The girls still give Mrs Cos shit over coming home after we were married to find the girls having a teen party while I was at a pipe club meeting. All they have to do is scream, “GET THE FUCK OUT!” And we all crack up knowing what that is in reference to, ha ha. Inside family jokes.
My wife and I met in high school. Our 43rd wedding anniversary is coming up in a few weeks. I wouldn't change a thing...well, maybe the color of my tux.
November 4, 1978
November 4, 1978
Thanks Cosmic for sharing your very personal story and for prompting so many others to post their love and marriage stories - I’ve enjoyed reading each of them. For my part I’ve been married to my lovely wife for 21 years and been with her for nearly 25. She is outspoken and passionate about the things she believes in and I love that about her.
My story - Mrs. Lotus and I got together at a gay bar. We were attending an AIDS benefit and we’re about the only straight people in the bar. (The odds were definitely in my favor). She asked me to accompany her to the bathroom and “stand guard” because the bathrooms were all unisex and the stalls had no doors. We’ve been together pretty much ever since.
My story - Mrs. Lotus and I got together at a gay bar. We were attending an AIDS benefit and we’re about the only straight people in the bar. (The odds were definitely in my favor). She asked me to accompany her to the bathroom and “stand guard” because the bathrooms were all unisex and the stalls had no doors. We’ve been together pretty much ever since.
33 years and counting - it was fate, IMO. Discovered this classic around the same time I first "discovered" her - associated it with her for years and eventually and after many years . . . . we started going out, and within 20 months we were married.
Thanks a lot for these wise advices @cosmicfolklore as I’m getting married for the first time this year !
I like how you say, “first time.” Ha ha!
Oh yeh, and for guys who say, "I don't understand how women think," well... they all think differently, and they deliberately do this to confuse us.
No puns intended ? i speak french most of the time .
I'm kind of late to this party but better late than never. I am on my third and last marriage. Like Cosmic we dated for about nine years before gettin hitched. She tolerates me and doesn't give me any shit about my pipes. 
If pipesmoking doesn’t automatically make us more intelligent, gentlemanly, or elegant, it definitely makes us lucky. Nice goin
I know my myself, and have yet to seriously consider marriage. I know I will never bring any children into this world, and my lady (4 years together) is on the same page.
If we continue to work and play well enough to stay together, it's a possibility. Until then, I'm doing me, she's doing her, and we do "us" the best we can. There's more that can go wrong than can get better, and I'd like to keep it that way.
Congrats to the happy couples, and congrats to those that have decided (so far) to hang up their (marriage) hats in peace and prosperity.
If we continue to work and play well enough to stay together, it's a possibility. Until then, I'm doing me, she's doing her, and we do "us" the best we can. There's more that can go wrong than can get better, and I'd like to keep it that way.
Congrats to the happy couples, and congrats to those that have decided (so far) to hang up their (marriage) hats in peace and prosperity.