You Know You're a Pipe Smoker When.....

[tennsmoker]

You light up your pipe, go to your computer and look at PM forums before reading your email.
You know you have PMS (PipesMagazine Syndrome) when you are smoking a pipe, reading PM online, your wife hollers for you to take out the trash and you don’t hear a word she says.
PMS is a combination of TAD, PAD, RAD, while making another online order and laughing wildly as the wife yells that she smells smoke!

 

[zonomo]

You have a serious marital problem, something needs to be fixed, you need advice on what firearm to buy, or you need general life advice and the first place you think to go is pipemagazine forums. (This isn't far off from me. 8) )

 

[youngpiper1]

When your smoke break takes longer at work then a cigarette smokers

 

[pipestud]

You can't locate the pipe you were smoking so you just fire up another knowing you'll eventually find the missing one.
Pipestud

 

[ghost]

8O "Pipe Goggles"- The ability to see pipe relevance in any, or even the most mundane of, objects. Pipe Goggles do not get removed.
Example #1- Store has a sale on plastic containers. Wife says it's a good deal, we could use these. You agree, they would be great for soaking stems in oxyclean or holding pipe cleaners. Wife walks away...
Example #2- You see a feature on TV on "Scrub Daddy", a versatile household cleaning sponge. Wife says we could use these. You agree, they may work great on removing stem oxidation. Wife scowls. (I detail some of my initial thoughts on Scrub Daddy in another thread...)
Example #3- You see old spice racks, spoon holders, or cutlery cases at thrift stores and wonder how many pipes they could hold if you just adjusted/dremeled them ever so slightly. Wife stayed home...

 

[john218]

When on vacation you're looking for a local tobacco shop instead of a good restaurant.
When you don't leave the house without 3 boxes of matches in your pants pocket.
When a family member comes back from a yard sale with a pipe for you.

 

[kashmir]

When you set instant email notification on the "What are you smoking" thread!

 

[cigrmaster]

When every square inch of your closet, under your bed and night stands are filled with tobacco.
When you tell your son, that if I ever catch one of your friends screwing with the pipe cleaners in my car again, I will beat them to within an inch of their life.
When you open your email and look for in stock notifications before any other type of email.
When you go into the hospital for surgery and you make arrangements to have your pipes and tobacco sold for the right money in case you get a dirt nap.