Beefy,
Standard Tobacco's Bengal Slices tins are made one at a time, from recycled, sustainably sourced metal, scavenged by hand by organically-certified children from some of the finest garbage heaps that the underdeveloped world has to offer. This is an integral part of our company's concerted commitment to sustainability and meaningful employment.
The tobacco is grown, one plant at a time, on thousands of windowsills and balconies of third-world festering tenements throughout the third world, giving an alternative income stream to otherwise desperate and despondent slum dwellers. This is our way of giving back to the less fortunate.
Once the tobacco is blended and tinned (a simple process that only takes a few minutes per ton), it is loaded onto the Standard Tobacco Company of Pennsylvania corporate jet, which Simon pilots around the country, and quickly distributed to our many retailers.
But at present, our total output is only around seven tins per month, so we've had some difficulty filling all of our orders in a timely manner. Rest assured though that we have contracted with three more highly skilled trash picking children in Manila and hope to double our tin production over the next year or so.
One of our many urban tobacco farms
Recent hires in the Tin Production Division will soon help us double our output.
In reality, Bengal Slices is produced by Sutliff, and they do so at a seemingly glacial pace. We have no control over their production schedule, or lack thereof.