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bullet08

Lifer
Nov 26, 2018
8,970
38,019
RTP, NC. USA
My older son left about 3 years ago to college. Today, my younger one went to his college. So, it's officially an empty nest. I guess I'll do more cooking since my wife likes everything I cook. And try to exercise. Gonna be boring without the kids. They will come by during the holidays and things, but.. They are "adults" now. Need their life.
 

warren

Lifer
Sep 13, 2013
11,754
16,380
Foothills of the Chugach Range, AK
They stay.
Only if you permit them to resist growing up. If they really are in need, assist. If not, have 'em get a room somewhere and start living their own life. Or you could, I suppose, cater to them until you hit the grave. Then, with no life skills, what are they gonna do. Being a good parent means some tough decision making.

Once they graduate . . . they are on their own if I and mom have properly prepared them. If we screwed up . . . we may have to pay the penalty the rest of our lives. Thankfully, we didn't.
 

captpat

Lifer
Dec 16, 2014
2,289
12,187
North Carolina
It got quieter around the house when our youngest went to college, however he was never far from our minds or pocketbook when we received tuition and rooming bills. :oops: I'm not complaining both sons have good jobs, own their own homes, are married to wonderful women and have no college debt. It's satisfying to see them make their way through life.
 

scloyd

Lifer
May 23, 2018
5,953
12,088
Our nest has been empty about 5 years now. I hated it at first, but got used to it. All three of our kids have homes in the next town, about 15-20 minutes away. We still see them all often, usually once a week.

An empty nest can be lonely at times...other times, after a few glasses of wine, it can be very nice. ;)
 

OldWill

Part of the Furniture Now
Feb 9, 2022
690
3,878
74
Blanco, Texas
At my age, I've been without live-in children for more than 20 years. My youngest is career USAF currently stationed at Mildenhall AFB, England.
We all stay in touch remotely, particularly my son via Skype, and my MD daughter who lives four hours away.

I think since my children were spaced out over 15 years, the blow was somewhat softened, but it is still an adjustment for anyone who deeply loves their kids.

My advice is the same ad warren's: make your own lives and enjoy!
 

jcsoldit

Lifer
Mar 27, 2010
1,138
245
Wisconsin
They may wonder back home for awhile after college if you allow them, With today's economy and high rent costs, getting started on their own can be a challenge. A parent's challenge if they do come back is not to make them so comfortable that they never leave and start their own adult life.
 
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boston

Part of the Furniture Now
Jun 27, 2018
542
1,240
Boston
My comments were intended as humor. Both kids came back from college during the pandemic. They are not slackers and are welcome to stay as long as they wish to save money etc. Rent is insane in our area and young people early in their job careers don't need to be tied to a house or mortgage! When they move we'll miss them.
 

Elric

Lifer
Sep 19, 2019
2,196
9,905
Liplapper Lane (Michigan)
tobaccocellar.com
Only if you permit them to resist growing up. If they really are in need, assist. If not, have 'em get a room somewhere and start living their own life. Or you could, I suppose, cater to them until you hit the grave. Then, with no life skills, what are they gonna do. Being a good parent means some tough decision making.

Once they graduate . . . they are on their own if I and mom have properly prepared them. If we screwed up . . . we may have to pay the penalty the rest of our lives. Thankfully, we didn't.
There are exceptions. My daughter and her boyfriend just moved in with us. He is doing his first year of residency in town and she is starting a PhD program. They will move out next year when his residency takes him further north. We have the space and it's Just good economic sense for the time being.
 

Pipeoff

Part of the Furniture Now
Jun 22, 2021
872
1,504
Western New York
My older son left about 3 years ago to college. Today, my younger one went to his college. So, it's officially an empty nest. I guess I'll do more cooking since my wife likes everything I cook. And try to exercise. Gonna be boring without the kids. They will come by during the holidays and things, but.. They are "adults" now. Need their life.
My son has five kids, I am sure he looks forward when they leave the nest but I reminded him that is just a short lull before the hoard of grand children descend. Maybe he will move with no forwarding address or make a short visit to them !
 
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mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,466
Congratulations! Launching your kids is a major life accomplishment. As others have said, they'll be back, likely with kids of their own. Also, you are always their father, so your experience and knowhow in life will always be needed, as you may at first be startled to discover.

When I retired, I thought I'd be mulling my afternoons whether to take a long walk or read a book. Somehow, I'd be glad to squeeze either of those in. When I began planning my own days, the pace picked up, and I haven't caught up since.