Cats & Pipes

[romaso]

I keep some pipe cleaners in a cigar coffin on my pipe desk, it has a hinged lid and I keep it closed,,,

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This little shit has figured out how to open it,,,

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My little guy loves pipe cleaners. I get him the extra fluffy ones. He'll fetch them when thrown and carry them around the place. I have to hide my own supply! I use a plastic pencil box he can't open.

 

[romaso]

Watching Andy Griffith with the guys (looks like they've already seen this one)

 

[romaso]

@Derby Today is St Francis Feast Day. I think Bogey deserves some treats!

 

[David D. Davidson]

This is Piper, the best cat I’ve ever met. Loves tummy rubs, doesn’t have a mean bone in her body, and is as cute as they come. I found her behind a dumpster at a very difficult time in my life, and she brought me a lot of peace. Since then, one of my biggest priorities in life has been returning the favour and ensuring she enjoys the best life possible. She eats better than I do! Quail eggs, fatty salmon, nothing but the best!

 

[pepperandjack]

You're a poet a heart.

Thank you! I do in fact write poetry which no one understands, which tells me I'm doing my job and that my work might be above average.

 

[pepperandjack]

A Cats Diary



DAY 752 — My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 — Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair ... must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 — Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 — Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was ... Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 — I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 — There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage ...

DAY 774 — I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to returnee. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) á and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

Day 775 — The horrors! The worse creature my captors could have devised to torment me with was another hideous cat! I cannot stand the way it lies around and looks at me as if it knows more than I do. This creature seems to despise me as much as I it. I had held out a passing notion that another of my own kind would have enabled me to conspire against the villains who hold me; now I see that I was wrong. What a dreadful creature! Yet, they coo over us both. Can they not spot my innate superiority?

Day 776 — The other cat and I, though we can not stand one another, have yet managed to both pee copiously behind the couch, on the so-called "shag" carpet. I have taken a lesson from my rival and begun sleeping on top of my captors' heads in the hope of suffocating them.

Day 777 — The wardens take much interest in our waste. They make sure they sift through the sand and pick it all out. Their interest in waste does not surprise me. After all, they like the dog.

Day 778 — The other cat seems to have an interest in copulation, which (thank them for their sadism) my captors will soon "fix". Told him of the fingernail torture and he did not even believe me. I showed him my mutilated paws and he gasped in horror.

Day 779 — Yes, they are monsters, but I am so happy. They fixed the other cat. It's sadistic, it's sick ,it's inhuman, it's what their great leader "Bob Barker" commands, but - the Sphinx be praised - I support it whole-heartedly!

Day 780 — I got messed up on catnip tonight. At the height of it all, I had a vision, a hallucinogenic revelation: they are the prisoners and I am their captor! Why have I not seen this all before?

Where did you copy this from? I love the hidden malice for the humans, though when there is punishing peeing I guess it is no longer hidden.

 

[onestrangeone]

Where did you copy this from? I love the hidden malice for the humans, though when there is punishing peeing I guess it is no longer hidden.

It’s been on the internet for quite a while, I don’t remember where I saw it first. There is also a dogs journal and versions of both geared towards dog or cat people

 

[pepperandjack]

Thanks!

 

[Searock Fan]

Bad kitty! A while back one of our two cats decided overnight to poop on the rug in the master bathroom. I cleaned it... he did it again... I cleaned it again.... he did it..... you get the idea. We finally gave up and removed the rug. Yesterday we went out garage sailing and by pure luck found a perfect replacement. It's about a $200 rug we got for $10 and is like new. (Boy, do I love garage sales!}. Last night we put it down and did the test, so far, so good. No poop! I guess it's because he can't smell anything to signal this is the spot. And yes, I cleaned the old rug extremely well, but he has a cat's nose. I know you cat people are on pins and needles to see what happens next, so I'll let you know if he's bad again.

 

[pepperandjack]

Just marking his territory. . .

 

[pepperandjack]

Hi Mr. Davidson,

Loving pets is a sign of human accomplishment, but on the other hand it's comes so naturally and easily. Hurrah! for you and Ms. Piper!

 

[romaso]

Bad kitty! A while back one of our two cats decided overnight to poop on the rug in the master bathroom. I cleaned it... he did it again... I cleaned it again.... he did it..... you get the idea. We finally gave up and removed the rug. Yesterday we went out garage sailing and by pure luck found a perfect replacement. It's about a $200 rug we got for $10 and is like new. (Boy, do I love garage sales!}. Last night we put it down and did the test, so far, so good. No poop! I guess it's because he can't smell anything to signal this is the spot. And yes, I cleaned the old rug extremely well, but he has a cat's nose. I know you cat people are on pins and needles to see what happens next, so I'll let you know if he's bad again.

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They say if you have 2 cats, you need 3 litter boxes (we do ok with 2 since our 2 guys get along well). Worth checking what they say here about pooping outside the box. FYI, this is a great reference book:

Cat owner's home veterinary handbook : Eldredge, Debra : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

Cat Owner's Home Veterinary Handbook, Fully Revised and Updated by Debra M. Eldredge

archive.org

When our guy started peeing outside the box, luckily I'd read it could be urinary crystals, and we got it diagnosed before it became an emergency.

 

[Magtour]

He has yet to know what a pipe cleaner is. Shall remain that way.

 

[georged]

He has yet to know what a pipe cleaner is. Shall remain that way.

Fast forward one year ^^^^

 

[Magtour]

Fast forward one year ^^^^


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Yeah… won’t be long, now.

 

[Searock Fan]

Fast forward one year ^^^^


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Damn !

 

[romaso]

This is really funny if you know the movie (The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly):
https://www.pewpewtactical.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Cat-Gif.gif

 

[Searock Fan]

Eight nights ago Oscar slipped out of the house when I went out to check the coon trap. I didn't see or hear him as cats don't exactly stomp their feet when they walk. Shortly after I came in I went to bed. It wasn't until the next morning we realized he was gone. For a week the wife and I have gone crazy doing everything we could think of to find him. We put up signs all over, flyers on people's front doors, visited shelters, walked the neighborhood at night with a flashlight calling him and posted on every lost pet site in our area. I'm happy to say that he showed up at our back door earlier this evening. He was hungry, a little thinner, but otherwise ok. Now we know what it feels like to have a missing child. Tonight we'll have our first good night's sleep in a week.

 

[pepperandjack]

I'm so glad that Oscar came home. As you say, like a lost child. I try not to yell at my cats, but I make sure they maintain a healthy respect for the door as I enter and exit. So give Oscar kisses from me for his safe return. Yeah!

 

[Searock Fan]

Eight nights ago Oscar slipped out of the house when I went out to check the coon trap. I didn't see or hear him as cats don't exactly stomp their feet when they walk. Shortly after I came in I went to bed. It wasn't until the next morning we realized he was gone. For a week the wife and I have gone crazy doing everything we could think of to find him. We put up signs all over, flyers on people's front doors, visited shelters, walked the neighborhood at night with a flashlight calling him and posted on every lost pet site in our area. I'm happy to say that he showed up at our back door earlier this evening. He was hungry, a little thinner, but otherwise ok. Now we know what it feels like to have a missing child. Tonight we'll have our first good night's sleep in a week.

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After worrying us to death for 8 days and nights we decided a chip was not enough to id Oscar. So we got him an id tab for his collar. His name and our phone number are on the back.