I admit to being pleased when I finish a bowl with no tongue bite or gurgle so that there is
very little unburned tobacco. It doesn't matter; a little heap of dottle (unburned tobacco)
is nothing. But it's nice when things come out pretty even.
About the two-finger method, my dad used to use the paper folder of matches to cover the bowl,
adjusting the angle a little to let in more or less air. I just use my fingers, but, same principle.
He used to tamp with his finger, gingerly, and seldom got burned, and I tend to do the same,
although when a pipe nail or tool is handy, I use that.
Some of this just comes with enjoyment. I almost said practice, but it's mostly a pleasure.
Don't get self-conscious; relight as often as you need to. Eventually, you will find yourself
relighting less.