Your Fathers Favorite Sayings

[cigrmaster]

I am sure everyone's dad had their favorite sayings so here are mine. He passed in 1998 so I keep them alive with my kids.
Rich or poor it's good to have money.
What is the one thing money can't buy.....poverty.
It's colder that a grave diggers ass in the Klondike.
Your breath could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon.
Never try to defend the indefensible( he was an attorney).
And the most important, it is better to give than to receive.
So who else grew up with their dad's favorite sayings.

 

[numbersix]

The most common one I recall my dad saying was: "IF YOU KIDS DON'T STOP I'LL TURN THIS CAR AROUND RIGHT NOW"
(He was a plumber, not a philosopher!)

 

[jah76]

Gosh, so many of them. A few stick with me.
"Don't be afraid to solve a problem with an eraser."

"Chuck it Farlie." He still always says that out of the clear blue sky.

"Liking turns to loving, loving turns to *&$!ing, and I don't want to be &#$!ed by any of your guys."

"&%$! him in his ear."

"There's no such word as can't."
So many now that I start thinking about it.

 

[kashmir]

"Get your ass in gear"! was one of his favorites.

 

[Perique]

What a great thread topic!
Most of my father's I cannot share on a polite, open forum. But here's a few:
Don't wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
Everyone wants more money, but nobody wants to work harder for it (regarding unions).
That's slicker'n snot on a door knob.
I'm all for Obamacare. I want everyone to have the same s****y healthcare as I have.
The wealthy hold assets. Everyone else holds money. That's why your shirt cost $20 and not 20 cents.
A farmer needs a horse like he needs a hole in the head. (He's had to tell me that one quite a few times over the years... Hasn't helped me...)
That's off the top of my head, I'll think of more,,,

 

[bullbriar]

"I'm about as happy as a puppy with two peters!"

 

[peckinpahhombre]

My Dad had a number of them - here are a few:
Busier than a toothless hooker at a Shriner's convention
Colder than a witches tit
Don't pick the fly shit out of the pepper (when he was telling you not to be picky)
I also remember him saying: "Her singing could drive a cat off a gut wagon" I never knew what the hell that meant.

 

[mso489]

"Just between thee and me ..." He liked archaic language in an ironic way.

"When you go to the White House, you have to hold your mouth just right."

Purely ironic ... didn't have any expectations of White House visit.

"Crooked as a politician's grandmother."

"That old battle axe ...." about older women behaving badly.

And many, many more. He could recite Wordsworth and quite a bit

of Shakespeare.

 

[mp31guitar]

It was always when he's working on something and its not going his way. "You son of a $;"/&". Growing up I thought every man acted this way when they were working on something. Now I just find it funny.

 

[brdavidson]

"I'll give you something to cry about!"

"It's all fun and games till someone loses an eye......then it's hockey"

"Suck it up buttercup"
Grumpy old Scottish fart! But I love him anyways.

 

[jbbaldwin]

That's slicker'n snot on a door knob.

Mine, too, sothron.
He also likes "Busier than a one-legged man at a butt-kickin'."

 

[crazypipe]

If you can't hear ,I bet you can feel 8O

 

[bigboi]

My dad was vulger at times and was always using sayings
When the obvious was a yes he would say. "Does a frog bump his ass when he hops?"

When it was really hot out. "It's hotter than a hooker's crotch on nickel night."

When someone would ask how he was he would Say "Finer than the fuzz on a bumble bee's butt"

 

[dhizzy]

This is a lot of fun to read!
My Pop has two:

"If you're gonna be dumb, you'd better be tough."
and when you weren't doing something right;
"You're not holdin' your face right."

 

[peckinpahhombre]

Two more occurred to me that he often used:
"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bullshit"
When some place was poorly organized: "Those guys couldn't organize a piss-up at a brewery"

 

[tbradsim1]

My father did not have sayings,told jokes,but i loved my Grandfathers saying which is so true to life, You can make me eat shit,just don"t tell me its butter. The old cajun

 

[topd]

Dad didn't have ones he used all the time, but I do remember a comment he made

one morning...
"If that bird had a .45 the cat wouldn't f**k with him!"

 

[peckinpahhombre]

That's funny Bradley. Similar to one my Dad used - "Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining"

 

[docrx]

"Cheer up there is no hope"

 

[plateauguy]

Keep it up if you want your ass kicked . . .

Marcella! There is something wrong with your boys!

Don't bullshit a bullshiter!
(There were 3 of us, and we tried Dad's patience at times)