Wife Doesn't Like Me Smoking

[mctrav]

Apparently me smoking a pipe bothers my wife, i only smoke outdoors and have to clean my pipes outside also (she cant stand the smell). i hope it doesn't put a strain on our relationship as i am only smoking to relieve stress. i don't drink or smoke cigarettes. anybody else have these problems? its about 35 degrees outside and dark and its time for a bowl of dunhills nightcap. cheers!

 

[smokenscotch]

That's too bad. Some people will never agree with it or accept it. I'm a lucky man, my wife encourages it to keep me relaxed.

 

[buster]

Yea my wife is not so hot about the idea of me putting "Bad" things in my body. Yet she likes the smell of aromatic pipe smoke. So one out of two aint bad! I only smoke one bowl a day maybe two once and a while. So I am not so in her face with it all the time. I use to smoke a lot of pot. I told her I enjoy the act of smoking but have out grown the being toasted thing. So she cut me some slack for being responsible-ish. :D
She did comment on my last snuff order and thought I was "Weird" and said when did that start. That was about it on the snuff issue. Snuff is a pretty discreet way to enjoy tobacco. I can walk to the kitchen, have a toot and come back to the room and no one is the wiser. I snuff more than I smoke and enjoy the hell out of it!

 

[bentmike]

My wife has been a registered respiratory therapist for 15 years (lung and heart specialist in critical care). I never hear the end of it. 8O But she accepts my smoking so I go out of my way to keep my stuff put away in the mancave and not smoke around her. I too smoke outside. Both my son and wife suffer from asthma so you won't hear me sayin "Its my house so I'll smoke in it if I want" It's a respect thing and besides I've remodeled dwellings lived in by smokers. What a pain.
My only advice weak as it is is that you'll have to find some kind of balance or consession to keep things running smooth. Good luck and enjoy that Nightcap.

 

[adam12]

This is a tough one. My wife doesn't care one way or the other. To her, it's a non-issue. And I realize I am lucky.
My only advice would be to keep communicating and try and stay 50-50 about it. Maybe certain days where you can smoke, and other days when you can't? Or certain times, like being out of town or running errands, versus home time?
Good luck man.

 

[bobby46]

I too only smoke my pipes outdoors. I'm being considerate; my choice. I don't find it a problem. When cold out there, half-fill!

 

[jaysin]

I am starting to see some odd posts....... Thats all I am saying

 

[spartan]

If she ever makes you choose. Choose the pipe. ::

 

[lifeon2]

I'm with jay on this one.

 

[mluyckx]

I only smoke outdoors. When cold ? Out comes the propane heater. When hot ? Out comes the fan. I have a little setup with a comfy chair and cover on my back patio.
But yes, she doesn't like me smoking, hasn't for years. Realizes pipe is a (little) healthier than cigarettes, so is asking me if I have fully switched yet (not yet). She also doesn't like the smell in my office/study of the tobacco, pipes, etc.. so she just stays out of that room. She will join me on the swing set on the porch if I'm smoking something she approves of (Usually heavy aro's although 1-Q has also passed the test)
Easy peasy.. I give a little, she gives a little.. we're both happy.

 

[mctrav]

well i have a small apartment and a 3 year old so i too choose to smoke outside, its more of the cold shoulder i get when i come inside. i use a designated jacket and hat and leave them outside. trying to be as considerate as possible. i also dont want my son seeing me since he wants to do everything daddy does. i dont mind smoking outside, perhaps because i work outside and am used to the weather.
not really sure what jaysin means by odd posts, kinda thought you guys were all real supportive here (maybe he meant my original thread on the subject, but who knows i'm a newbie here)
thanks for the feedback and letting me vent, you guys rock!

 

[group4]

Yeah, I know what you mean by 'odd.'

 

[aussielass]

Well, if you have absolutely no intention whatsoever of giving up, then you need to tell her so and explain if she wishes to continue being your wife she'd better get used to it because it's not going away ... your other privileges may as well, but a man has to take a stand, the same as she does when she does stuff you don't like but continues to disregard.
Life is too short to be dictated to by anyone I'm afraid. I don't even agree with women forcing their men out of their own homes to smoke just because they don't like it.
I do have things I would never tolerate - heavy drinking, gambling, weed or other drug taking, and if any of those were ever taken up, then he would be told to pack his bags (it is my house, not his or ours) because they're not negotiable in my book of rules, and I would choose not to live with him. Anything else he chooses to do is his business and I would encourage him in it, not be a pita!

 

[ohin3]

Yeah...what she said. Cheers aussielass!

 

[havanarick]

Ever heard it said, “For every negative thing you say, you need to say seven nice things to balance it out”? Well, there is probably more truth in this statement than you might realize. There has to be a balance of give and take in your marriage. If you do more taking than giving, you’re missing out on the blessings you receive when you give to your spouse. If you do more giving than taking, you may end up resenting your spouse. You have to find a balance. It's the Zen man..

 

[lordnoble]

How long have you been smoking? I only ask because if it's a new thing, that might be part of it or all of it. If not, what's changed?
-Jason

 

[ssjones]

I'm a happily married man for 30 years and my wife isn't a big fan of my pipe smoking, around her. So, I smoke in my workshop or out on the patio. I don't smoke later in the evening as I don't like to smell like a pipe when we go to bed (and I enjoy sleeping with her!). She does like the pipe smell more than my cigars, in fact that was her suggestion. A good marriage includes compromises and balance to make it work. I've been married for 30 years, smoking a pipe for one. I try to be respectful of her wishes and keep our relationship on the right keel.

 

[pstlpkr]

In my household... The War Department knows that the subject of my pipe smoking is not open for discussion.

I made that very clear when we were dating... 23 or 24 years ago.

::

 

[jchaplick]

Girlfriend hates it, so I just talk about it as much as I can to get her back for all the nagging she does :rofl:

 

[winton]

I have taken my wife to the ER a couple times over the last 19 years when she had significant trouble breathing due to ashma or allergies. Thus I am extremely careful when I smoke. Only outside. Perhaps a quick sniff the husband to get a report on room note, then directly to shower and washing machine. It works for us.
As far as the weather, I smoke in my detached garage with a kerosine heater during the winter. During the summer, I either smoke after I am already sweaty from hard work, or wait until the sun has gone down.
Marriage is what you make of it. The two of us went on a grocery date last night. Tomorrow she will get up before 5:00 am just to spend time with me before I leave for work. I would not allow anything to interfer with our relationship. Next month will be 20 years. Sickness and health, richer or poorer, etc. It is either heaven on earth or hell on earth.
Winton