Why?

[admin]

In a "community" of people with the same "hobby", like a pipe forum, I don't find questions like these rude or against good manners. That is how I feel.

I think Christos said it best. This is a "community" of people with the same "hobby".

Warren, you chose to use the word, "habit". Of the people that I've encountered in this hobby, they considered it just that - a hobby, and not a habit, or addiction like many consider smoking cigarettes to be.

Every week, on the Pipes Magazine Radio Show, Brian will ask the interviewee how and when they started their pipe journey. I think there have been some times when he actually phrased it as, "when did you start smoking?"

I'm surprised that this question would offend you.

 

[woodsroad]

So…When did you stop beating your wife while smoking a pipe?

A false sense of intimacy pervades forums such as this. It leads to behaviors that would be considered rude and impertinent in most other settings, but are deemed to be acceptable here. It’s an odd and unhealthy thing.

As successive generations become less socially adept, thanks to the social media hermit syndrome, they seek human connection elsewhere. Like here. But how real is that connection? It varies, but on the whole, it’s tenuous at best, held together by the very thin string of a common affinity for pipe smoking. But people tend to imbue this narrow connection with all the attributes of a long term personal friendship. Even newcommers to this forum, complete strangers who probably are all reclusive, dog-beating reprobates, are granted instant family member status without so much as a NICS check and psych eval.

But I’m cool with that, as long as people keep laughing at my posts.

 

[Chasing Embers]

"A hobby is a regular activity that is done for enjoyment. Whereas a habit is a regular action or behavior that is acquired through frequent repetition. The key difference between hobby and habit is that a hobby is pursued consciously whereas a habit is often a subconscious act."

After many years and decades, smoking a pipe can become as mindless an act as breathing so I could see how both could apply. I don't much consider it a hobby as it is just something I do while I'm working or pursuing interests, never the focal point.

I started here for restoration advice from Ed James but being my only social outlet, I chime in from time to time.

 

[woodsroad]

I don’t characterize those types of questions as rude or ill mannered. Some of them I answer, some I don’t, no rhyme or reason to my approach to a given question.

What is rude (IMO) are folks who pose questions or topics that could be easily answered by using the search function. It wasn’t that long ago that in the space of a week the question of favorite VA tobaccos was asked in three different threads — now wasting my time because one is lazy is rude.

That’s because the poster is seeking more that an answer to a simple question. They are looking for human connection. While that’s probably better dealt with via Tinder or a trip to the supermarket, it’s all part and parcel to the false sense of community that gets perpetuated on the interwebs.

 

[Piping Abe]

Dude, why are you here on a forum about pipe smoking if you dont want to discuss pipe smoking? If your discussing any interest, cars, boats, cooking, the basic question is, so when did you get into X?

This is literally a place to talk about said experience.

When did you start? Why do you like X tobacco? What else are we suppose to talk about? Whatever you want, but the common interest is pipe smoking. So everyone can relate to a pipe smoking question.

 

[telescopes]

When I think about some of our more colorful posters in the past, what I consider somewhat rude is the idea that "everyone" must of course already agree with the posters worldview concepts, politically and socially. When someone chimes in and begins to ridicule another poster's thoughts on subjects such as electric vehicles, global warming, presidential views, etc, especially when the initial statement barely indicated any preferences, I find that distasteful and my knee jerk reaction is to respond in a full-thread locking insulting manner. For example, a poster might indicate that they feel that companies are acquiring too much wealth and corporate interests are opposed to the masses, etc, etc. Another poster chimes in vilifying the first poster as a communists, fascists, yada, yada, yada, who probably is a global warming cry baby to boot. What? Why get so upset. It doesn't happen as much anymore and many of the posters who loved inciting that type of rhetoric are gone, but from time to time there is a type of group think that manifests itself with the presumption that everyone on here must probably agree with ....

 

[didimauw]

Warren, it's cause people wanna know how long they have till they die of smoking.

I already know my age of death. Both my parents died at the age of 57, 3 years apart. I'm already half dead at this point.

 

[Sobrbiker]

As a new guy (fall before last) I was keenly interested in refurbishing and enjoying my father’s collection. I found the forum (as I tend to do with any hobby, competition, tools, vehicles, etc).
Using the experience of others with experience fast-tracked my efforts, but seeing what others smoke and why (both pipes and tobaccos) helped me find “my groove” in enjoying myself.
Interestingly, of the dozen or so pipes I pre-inherited only a couple actually fit what I’ve found that I like in a pipe. My technique, and tastes have quickly became my own, and I never would have come to the level I’m at on my own.
I’m still learning, but I also know what it’s like to be a seasoned veteran in online communities at a given application and annoyed by repetitive newbie/redundant topics.
It is growth for me to learn tolerance, remember no one was born knowing and experienced at everything, and try to share enough of my journey to help the next guy coming up the hill.
I like the ability to “get to know” people to find similarities, differences, who knows their shiite, and who just regurgitates what they’ve read. I’m constantly judging every I interact with, not out of mean spirit, but out of a desire to guage who has what I want (or aspire to be).
Without the foibles of humans showing their true selves once in a while, one could be mislead into thinking that everyone that says something actually has something to say.

For those that I’ve interacted with, thanks for sharing. There are no bad examples, just the onus on me to decide if an example is what I want to be like, or a great example of what I don’t.
Of course, YMMV and what I do may not be what you should do.

 

[El Capitán]

Warren, it's cause people wanna know how long they have till they die of smoking.

I already know my age of death. Both my parents died at the age of 57, 3 years apart. I'm already half dead at this point.

 

[Sobrbiker]

.

Warren, it's cause people wanna know how long they have till they die of smoking.

I already know my age of death. Both my parents died at the age of 57, 3 years apart. I'm already half dead at this point…

….puppy

 

[El Capitán]

This forum is an international pipe club. We tend to be more open to those with the same hobby so we ask more personal questions. We have built a comradery with each other over one topic. It makes sense for us to find closer connections.

 

[AroEnglish]

Familiarity? Interesting.

Fascinating observation. Interesting take. So,just wanting to talk, so to speak? Interact with someone they have some sort of affinity for/with?

Yup I think that’s exactly it. I think many of us really enjoy pipes and would talk about it more with people in person if we could. But since we can’t we turn to “conversing” and asking those questions here.

 

[HeavyLeadBelly]

I don’t find those kinds of posts to be too offensive. If anything I try (key word is try as I’m just a mere mortal human contrary to popular belief) to not engage in threads that I find annoying. For the most part I’ve found these forums to be a positive experience unlike other sites where it can get very toxic due to little or no moderating.

 

[El Capitán]

I don’t find those kinds of posts to be too offensive. If anything I try (key word is try as I’m just a mere mortal human contrary to popular belief) to not engage in threads that I find annoying. For the most part I’ve found these forums to be a positive experience unlike other sites where it can get very toxic due to little or no moderating.

We had a bad conversation but I don't hold it against either of us. I consider some arguments victims of passion.

 

[The Amish Tyrant]

Both my parents died at the age of 57, 3 years apart. I'm already half dead at this point.

I understand. My father, grandfather, and great grandfather died at 58.

It's a valid concern to me (and was for my uncle until he reached 59).

 

[HeavyLeadBelly]

I understand. My father, grandfather, and great grandfather died at 58.

It's a valid concern to me (and was for my uncle until he reached 59).

Well if they died in the 1800s that’s a long life!

 

[AroEnglish]

Kinda like doing your homework or due diligence.

Like in all conversations, however, some I choose to take part in and others I don’t.

I read this as, “Like with all homework, some I choose to take part in and others I don’t.” I thought, “Preach it, brother.”

 

[K.E. Powell]

I think another point worth considering is that pipe smoking is, as Briar Lee stated, a rather rare thing these days. The impression I get from some of our oldest and most experienced members is that pipe smoking for them doesn't seem particularly out of place or unique. They can recall times in their lives when it was very common, and smoking generally was both common and had social license.

But for folks such as myself, who are a little younger and less experienced, our taking up a pipe is something we consciously pursue knowing it is considered both quaint and an unhealthy vice. It has an allure to it that can be hard to describe without sounding pretentious.

I think that divide may partially explain the "small talk" mentality that is common here and in what few cigar and pipe lounges remain. For newcomers to this hobby (or habit, if you prefer), they do so oftentimes after making a studied decision to take up the pipe; it is not typically an impulsive decision. And like most neophytes, they've questions and a well of curiosity. So, they ask questions and try to ingratiate themselves to the one group of people with any real insight and shared interest in their hobby, and do so sometimes awkwardly.

 

[kcghost]

I generally say that if you feel a question is rude or too prying into your life then don't answer it.

 

[El Capitán]

I generally say that if you feel a question is rude or too prying into your life then don't answer it.

Rather simple and concise I would think. Best advice so far.