Who Here Has/Had Child Support Payments?

[3rdguy]

After 18 years I cut my final check this month. I switched jobs early on and while I took a pay cut for the first few years I was still paying the amount based off my higher wages because the ex wouldn’t work with me on it and I did not have the funds to fight it at the time.Now full circle I can look back and say it was my first check cut each month and never was late in 18 years.

I could be bitter about her stock piling a few checks at times and then cashing them all at once, that her 2nd home came with a boat slip and a wine cellar or that she was not sure at times if she even cashed some of them, which told me she did not need the money at times. Yet I never bad mouthed her in front of my daughter or stressed on it because it is what it is I told myself.

One thing I did have to do was watch my spending and sock away for retirement as much as I could as I did not want to work forever. I decided since I adjusted to the money not being there I will continue to use 100% of the monthly amount; split between my savings, my retirement plan (I also have a excellent pension coming) and paying down my mortgage so when I retire in 4 years I am 100% debt free.

I did splurge on one thing for myself, I ordered a new iPhone 12 last week since I had to keep my iPhone 5 working for the past 5 years. Got lucky with my 21 year old truck running without issues during this time frame, that helped a lot! I am not bitching I paid child support, just expressing what a relief it is to have it all over with.

Anyone else splurge on anything when theirs ended?

 

[ashdigger]

I paid child support on two of my children. On one of them I paid child support until he was 22 and he came to live with me.

I didn’t splurge when I was done paying, but the note on the final check’s memo line wasn’t exactly Shakespearean.

 

[donjgiles]

Congrats!
I still have a little more than a year to go, total payments thus far are over $100,000.00.
If I knew each cent went to my boys, I would not cringe so much.

Do you know why divorce is so expensive?
Because it is worth it.

 

[highwaycobbery]

Lucky enough not to have had any, I’m selfish, I like me too much. also lucky to be married too someone likeminded.
It sounds like a nightmare though.

 

[BROBS]

After 18 years I cut my final check this month. I switched jobs early on and while I took a pay cut for the first few years I was still paying the amount based off my higher wages because the ex wouldn’t work with me on it and I did not have the funds to fight it at the time.Now full circle I can look back and say it was my first check cut each month and never was late in 18 years.

I could be bitter about her stock piling a few checks at times and then cashing them all at once, that her 2nd home came with a boat slip and a wine cellar or that she was not sure at times if she even cashed some of them, which told me she did not need the money at times. Yet I never bad mouthed her in front of my daughter or stressed on it because it is what it is I told myself.

One thing I did have to do was watch my spending and sock away for retirement as much as I could as I did not want to work forever. I decided since I adjusted to the money not being there I will continue to use 100% of the monthly amount; split between my savings, my retirement plan (I also have a excellent pension coming) and paying down my mortgage so when I retire in 4 years I am 100% debt free.

I did splurge on one thing for myself, I ordered a new iPhone 12 last week since I had to keep my iPhone 5 working for the past 5 years. Got lucky with my 21 year old truck running without issues during this time frame, that helped a lot! I am not bitching I paid child support, just expressing what a relief it is to have it all over with.

Anyone else splurge on anything when theirs ended?

Shit man I didn’t even know you had a kid!

 

[BROBS]

Lucky enough not to have had any, I’m selfish, I like me too much. also lucky to be married too someone likeminded.
It sounds like a nightmare though.

Same here

 

[condorlover1]

I have always reasoned that one of me was quite sufficient for the planet and that we could do without any 'Mini Me's' running around. In the meantime congratulations on your final payment. Now you can look forward to a fun and brighter future.

 

[Country Bladesmith]

Do you know why divorce is so expensive?
Because it is worth it.

I’ve always heard “cheaper to keep her,” but I suppose some things are worth the expense. ?

I have to admit, I can’t really add much to this thread. I got lucky and found a good one from the get-go. We’ve been married for 17 yrs, and together for 20. I dated some real numbers beforehand, but thank God, didn’t wind up with any of them.

 

[doug535]

Mine finally ended in 2007 and I too paid well over 100k. Was glad it was over for sure.

 

[timt]

Yet I never bad mouthed her in front of my daughter or stressed on it because it is what it is I told myself.

Bravo, good for you. As hard as it was, you won't regret that.

My twin daughters were 3 when we divorced and it was undoubtedly the hardest time in my life. The less custody you get, the more you pay. So yeah, I paid for 15 years and when it was finally done, my current wife and I just quietly breathed a sigh of relief.

Congratulations! Again, nice job on taking the high road.

 

[ashdigger]

Yet I never bad mouthed her in front of my daughter

I NEVER spoke about my X in front of my children, even though some were adults (I have five children), yet she constantly bitched about stuff. If my two children living with her needed shoes or haircuts or little extras, she would always tell them to “ask your father”.

I paid her plenty, but never openly grumbled about the extra costs. They’re my children too is how I looked at it.

Flash that forward to current situations. None of my children will have anything to do with her. They have seen her play that game out.

So while it’s sad how it currently is for her, her behavior set the table.

 

[briarbuck]

4 kids with 2 ex's. Been paying CS since 1990. The caboose is 18 next year.

That will be a good day after 30+ years of bills.

 

[Capt Morgan]

I paid for my 2 daughters, and last month I just finished paying for the youngest. All that just means is I have more money to go to bills...

 

[beefeater33]

I paid on my 3 girls........... Starting in 2006, Last one ended in May of 2019. I guess I'm in the 100k club too.
I remain bitter about my ex, never could forgive her completely, but I kept my mouth shut around my kids. Like Tim said above, my girls don't have much to do with her nowadays............

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

Man, I've had son with me for years.. still somehow they say I owe child support. I thought I'd celebrate too.. but that hasn't happened yet. I spent 20 grand to pay a lawyer and back child support, from the time I actually had him with me.. still, when the corona checks came.. she got mine. I've got an order from a judge that wont allow my paycheck to be taken.. but they still come for me.. the corona check wasnt "income" so they figure the order doesn't cover that. I could pay another 10 grand to have it worked out.. but man, I'm just tired. I figure now that I have the title to my son, thats the important thing.. I'll fix the rest after I catch my breath.

The last 2 years were absolutley hell, with the custody battle and all.. I've had ulcers, chronic headaches, insomnia.. without my beautiful wife, theres no way I would have made it through.

All that shit is ugly and embarrassing.. the thing is though, you never plan for a divorce.. You just look across the courtroom and say, "what the fuck was I thinking?" ?‍

** I'm in about 60k, my kid's 7 and I've had him for 4 years.. my exwife and I were married for the first year. 2 years.. 60k...

 

[donjgiles]

Man, I've had son with me for years.. still somehow they say I owe child support. I thought I'd celebrate too.. but that hasn't happened yet. I spent 20 grand to pay a lawyer and back child support, from the time I actually had him with me.. still, when the corona checks came.. she got mine. I've got an order from a judge that wont allow my paycheck to be taken.. but they still come for me.. the corona check wasnt "income" so they figure the order doesn't cover that. I could pay another 10 grand to have it worked out.. but man, I'm just tired. I figure now that I have the title to my son, thats the important thing.. I'll fix the rest after I catch my breath.

The last 2 years were absolutley hell, with the custody battle and all.. I've had ulcers, chronic headaches, insomnia.. without my beautiful wife, theres no way I would have made it through.

All that shit is ugly and embarrassing.. the thing is though, you never plan for a divorce.. You just look across the courtroom and say, "what the fuck was I thinking?" ?‍

** I'm in about 60k, my kid's 7 and I've had him for 4 years.. my exwife and I were married for the first year. 2 years.. 60k...

Hang in there, Brother!

 

[mikestanley]

Thirty three years married. We raised two fine Sons. My parents were divorced before it was popular. They both bitched about child support from their own positions. You want to alienate your kids? Bitch about the cost of child support. The feelings last long after the last check is cut.

Mike S.

 

[Mr.Mike]

Me and the girlfriend split soon after our second child. It truly was mutual, and we still loved and respected each other very much. Just weren't in love anymore. Not being able to stand the idea of either of us having to live without our kids, we decided that just because we suck as a couple, doesn't mean we have to suck as friends and parents. So we stayed living together. It's been 8 years since the split and our relationship is better then ever, and our kids have both of their parents all the time. Some people think it's weird, some people think it's beautiful. Personally I don't care what anyone thinks, all I know is my kids are happy and loved.

 

[timt]

"what the fuck was I thinking?"

Oh man, that's a whole thread to itself. Here I was "Mr. Picky" in my late twenties and had ducked and weaved for years, evading some nice, attractive young ladies who just weren't good enough I thought. And then.......really??? You've got to be kidding!

I remarried. I married my college sweetheart (what was she thinking?) who I had dated 5 years prior to the ex and we've been together 17 years with 2 kids. Ultimately I lucked out, but man.......

In all seriousness, I couldn't imagine life without my twins and grandson who have come from this. And believe it or not, my wife gets along with the ex quite well. What a ride!

 

[Pit&Pipes]

2.5 more years of child support and alimony is almost over. Still live very frugal, occasional splurge on a new gun every couple years and a pipe here and there . I wanted to make sure they kids were cared for and wanted to make sure those payments were made. I try not to think of how the $ is used but I trust in “karma” and make sure I do the right thing. It’s almost over and I’ll be getting a nice raise when it’s done. Can’t wait but not sure what I’ll splurge on. I got what I need for the most part.