Who Here Has/Had Child Support Payments?

[FurCoat]

I'll have roughly paid 182k by the time I'm done. Strictly support, nothing else included. Not including college either.

And the messed up part about that is, that is with 50/50 custody. Such a broken system. I will say it's starting to change, but we have a long way to go!

It's messed up for sure. Now that I think about it the health insurance is another 400 a month and let's not even get into car insurance.

 

[Perique]

I’ve been though it. It’s rough. The only wisdom I could pass along is this: you can’t put a price tag on your happiness.

 

[ashdigger]

I’ve been though it. It’s rough. The only wisdom I could pass along is this: you can’t put a price tag on your happiness.

I respectfully disagree. It cost me approximately $325,000 and I’m the happiest fucking human on the planet!!!

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

It's a shame too about all these big amounts of money.. I know at least for me, basically all my money belongs to my wife and son. I would spend it on him if they'd let me keep any of it, like on a better school, college later on, or maybe I could buy a more valuble house to one day leave behind.

A big chunk of the wealth he might inherit is wasted on lawyers and court fees.. and It's supposedly for his benefit.

 

[jpmcwjr]

Been there, done that, but last check cut was about 15 years ago. It wasn't that much of a financial burden given my income, and when for a while I had primary custody, I kept paying her. (!) The costs of reversing that - financial and emotional, were just not worth the fight.

Blessings on all you guys who stepped up to the plate and didn't flinch at the 100 mph fastballs. (often thrown by asshole lawyers**, along with some Knuckleballs—you may have guessed I am watching the WS.)

** Some of my best friends are practicing law. And not all family lawyers are assholes, though a large percentage in that field are in my experience.

 

[hawky454]

I do. I am a firm believer in child support though. Still have 15 years to go. Though I am for child support I don’t like the system at all! My ex wife has renovated the house (5 times since I moved out), has recently gotten ridiculously expensive tattoos and I can’t help but feel that I’m paying for all of that. I get my daughter 50% of the time and I also have to pay for her food and all her needs when she’s with me so I feel like I’m getting screwed. If we share custody 50/50 why is it that I pay her mother $800 a month!?!? Oh and my ex wife makes more money than I do!

All that said, my daughter is fucking worth it! I love her more than anything, she’s given me new purpose and I wouldn’t have it any other way. She is my heart and soul.

 

[Papamique]

I initiated child support and paid it for 16 years on my oldest daughter. My heart left me no choice.
As for my ex, she is still my daughters mother and stories are like pancakes-no matter how thin you make them there are always two sides. It wasn’t easy for any of us.

 

[hawky454]

I’m lucky that I have good insurance, that responsibility also falls on me but it doesn’t cost me a dime, my place of work provides us with great benefits.

 

[macaroni]

Same here

same same

 

[stokesdale]

After 18 years I cut my final check this month. I switched jobs early on and while I took a pay cut for the first few years I was still paying the amount based off my higher wages because the ex wouldn’t work with me on it and I did not have the funds to fight it at the time.Now full circle I can look back and say it was my first check cut each month and never was late in 18 years.

I could be bitter about her stock piling a few checks at times and then cashing them all at once, that her 2nd home came with a boat slip and a wine cellar or that she was not sure at times if she even cashed some of them, which told me she did not need the money at times. Yet I never bad mouthed her in front of my daughter or stressed on it because it is what it is I told myself.

One thing I did have to do was watch my spending and sock away for retirement as much as I could as I did not want to work forever. I decided since I adjusted to the money not being there I will continue to use 100% of the monthly amount; split between my savings, my retirement plan (I also have a excellent pension coming) and paying down my mortgage so when I retire in 4 years I am 100% debt free.

I did splurge on one thing for myself, I ordered a new iPhone 12 last week since I had to keep my iPhone 5 working for the past 5 years. Got lucky with my 21 year old truck running without issues during this time frame, that helped a lot! I am not bitching I paid child support, just expressing what a relief it is to have it all over with.

Anyone else splurge on anything when theirs ended?

My son did, and like a dumbass, he splurged on a new woman!!!

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I got full custody of my first two daughters, and because Alabama's court system is still dragging its knuckles in the stone ages, the courts would never support me in forcing her to pay child support. So, I just dropped it. But, it has some of the strictest deadbeat dad laws in the US, but it doesn't apply the other way around.
I just found out recently that I had a 14 year old daughter that I knew nothing about. We did the DNA thing and it came up BINGO. A one time thing... And, because Alabama has the worst laws in the state, when her mother went on disability, they tracked me down, although the mother never wanted me to know. And, because she had no income because of disability, I had to pay for back child support. She is 17 now. Her mother flip flops on whether she wants me to pay. One day, she is begging me for a few dollars, then when I give it to her, she tears up the check and tells me she doesn't want the money. I have a feeling it will be a roller coaster for the next few years. I have her on the phone and texts cussing me for paying her, so at least there is that. It's so damned weird.

 

[condorlover1]

@cosmicfolklore Wow!

 

[BROBS]

I got full custody of my first two daughters, and because Alabama's court system is still dragging its knuckles in the stone ages, the courts would never support me in forcing her to pay child support. So, I just dropped it. But, it has some of the strictest deadbeat dad laws in the US, but it doesn't apply the other way around.
I just found out recently that I had a 14 year old daughter that I knew nothing about. We did the DNA thing and it came up BINGO. A one time thing... And, because Alabama has the worst laws in the state, when her mother went on disability, they tracked me down, although the mother never wanted me to know. And, because she had no income because of disability, I had to pay for back child support. She is 17 now. Her mother flip flops on whether she wants me to pay. One day, she is begging me for a few dollars, then when I give it to her, she tears up the check and tells me she doesn't want the money. I have a feeling it will be a roller coaster for the next few years. I have her on the phone and texts cussing me for paying her, so at least there is that. It's so damned weird.

You need a lawyer. A big fat sweaty colonel sanders looking Alabama lawyer.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

@cosmicfolklore Wow!

Yeh, sometimes the girls that are the most fun in bed tend to end up being the craziest f'n b!tches in the world.

But, my daughter is a sweetie. Flaming red hair like me, she is top of her class in JROTC, National Honors Society, active in her church, and is as sweet as can be. All of my daughters are great, but I hate to say that the one that I didn't raise turned out so different, ha ha. All of them like to come over and ride the tractor and do some plinking. Good bunch.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

You need a lawyer. A big fat sweaty colonel sanders looking Alabama lawyer.

I've got two of the best. It's the primitive law system here. They pass laws that look partisan and great politically, but because they aren't thought out very well, they translate into disaster across the bench. Even the judges will tell you this.

Most of our elected officials are football coaches and sanitation company owners, and they write these stupid laws.

 

[BROBS]

I've got two of the best. It's the primitive law system here. They pass laws that look partisan and great politically, but because they aren't thought out very well, they translate into disaster across the bench. Even the judges will tell you this.

Most of our elected officials are football coaches and sanitation company owners, and they write these stupid laws.

? see my comment in the “roll tide” thread to put an image to the issue.

 

[BROBS]

Do your lawyers wear all white suits?

 

[Merton]

Each state has developed their own Child Support Guidelines. A number of years ago the Federal Government mandated that all states do so and tied continued Federal Highway funding as a means to ensure compliance. The Guidelines and the statutes which inform their application vary, sometimes dramatically, between states. For example, some states provide for emancipation of children at age 18 while others go as long as 23 if the child is attending college. Some states also provide for a child to be unemancipated between 18 and 21 if they are residing with a parent and are principally dependent on that parent for their support. As a general rule, Judges in the various states have very little discretion in varying from the Guideline formula amount. Some states provide for adjustments in the formula depending on the parenting arrangements. There are also adjustments for things such as the cost of child care. Guidelines are updated/modified in some states every couple of years.

 

[Merton]

I initiated child support and paid it for 16 years on my oldest daughter. My heart left me no choice.
As for my ex, she is still my daughters mother and stories are like pancakes-no matter how thin you make them there are always two sides. It wasn’t easy for any of us.

The voluntary payment of child support is both the right thing to do, the mature thing to do and, in the event that litigation ensues, a demonstration of a parent's level of commitment to their chid.

 

[condorlover1]

@cosmicfolklore: Does she smoke a pipe as well?