Well, I came out...

[lostandfound]

My mom slapped me and called me a liar the first time she found out I was smoking. I was seventeen, and that was a different kind of leaf, though.
I picked up cigarette smoking around the same time, and for some reason... (Gee, I wonder why?), I never felt compelled to share that with my folks. They did find out in time, however, but it was never a topic of much discussion, just the periodic "You stink!" or "Those cigarettes are going to kill you!" comments.
I don't even remember when, or how I came to tell them I smoke a pipe.
Nearly a decade later, they have started to show some support for my piping. My mom suggested to an Aunt of mine, that she buy me a pipe for our Christmas gift exchange, and my dad bought me a pipe rack. I think the coolest thing though, and something that I will probably always remember, is when my dad, needing help with some kind of task, asked me, in a way that showed that he not only loves me as a son, but respects me as a man: "Will you come help me with this when you're done with that pipe?"

 

[murf]

I think my pipe smoking had a lessened effect on my mother since I had already gotten a tattoo. First inked at 21, started smoking a pipe maybe 6-12mo later. But nowhere nearly as serious as I do now, about 4yrs later. I had my father on my side, however. He said all the same stuff I did (after I already said it). Plus, I had already gotten a lecture from her about chewing tobacco at about 16 or 18.
But man! To be a fly on the wall for the tattoo "conversation." Basically, she failed to outline her argument in a logical way because it was a heavily emotional response. On the surface, it seemed irrelevant to me. Took me awhile to connect the dots and try to make sense of what the hell she was talking about. Didn't help that I didn't tell either of my parents about the ink, and they didn't know about it til 6mo after. Shirt sleeve had bunched up. Dad didn't care much, except that it was going to upset my mom. Next 2 she tried to take interest in. I appreciated the effort, but it was awkaward. Next one will upset her for sure, but I haven't lived at home for 3yrs, so...

 

[mrdottle]

My parents were both non-smokers, and my dad also claimed he never drank his first beer until he was 28. How time have changed! In any case, my dad caught me smoking a cigarette when I was a kid (peer pressure – my buddies also smoked). But my dad had a cure for me. He gave me one of his one or two year old ‘It’s a Boy’(it might have been a It’s a Girl) cigars he found in his basement desk drawer and told me to smoke it in front of him. Thinking I would turn green and fall down, he told me to sit in front of the living room bookcase and smoke it. It took about a half hour or 45 minutes and I did smoke the whole thing. I then asked for another one - so much for that cure. When I became of age, my parents never said another word about my smoking, but I never smoked in front of them.
I smoked cigarettes and only took up the pipe in the early 1970s when I watched the old Sherlock Holmes movies with Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce, the former known to have thrown some of the wildest and most legendary parties Hollywood has ever seen. This series of movies were aired every Sunday at noon on WGN – Chicago, and I didn’t miss a one, seeing many of them several times. Well, I thought this guy Sherlock was cool, smart, suave, and he smoked a pipe! This is actually what got me started with the pipe, but I later learned never to store my tobacco in a Persian slipper as Sherlock did. Besides, I never could locate a Persian slipper.

 

[voorhees]

I am sorta like apatim, my parents(Dad mostly) really watched me a bit too closely back in my teens years. I'm guessing my brother who gave them a lot of grief caused that.

But once free from the nest, I happily went about doing things they would have tried putting their influence on. I dated a woman who was 13 yrs my senior(I was 21), smoked cigars, drove fast and chased mostly loose women until I was almost 30.

I got my first tattoo at 35 cause I wanted it and still go to Panama City Beach with my close buddies every year. I have no children of my own, so that's why I still can do those things and my wife is pretty understanding too.
Don't wait to try the things you want, we only live once!

 

[settersbrace]

Tell your Mom that she is absolutely, 100% correct about it being an expensive habit. Also remind her that there are far worse things you could be doing with your time and money. Show her the reports and data on nicotine and make her understand that because you are a pipe smoker it doesn't permit her or anyone to lump you in with the cig smokers. Hell, even a medical doctor is at a loss when you ask him or her to provide data backing up any health risks they may claim stemming from moderate pipe smoking. As a parent I could never tell my daughters that they disappointed me especially if they get in front of a life choice like smoking and tell me honestly. I'd rather they let me find out that way then to be blindsided. Good luck and good smoking. Glad to have you on board.

 

[papipeguy]

You could tell Mom, "If this is the most I've ever disappointed you then you did a great job raising me." And the tell her Happy Mother's Day. That should keep her busy for awhile.

 

[woodsroad]

Tell your mom: Sorry that you feel that way, mom.
And move on.
Then go and find some good friends so that you don't have to ask total strangers for advice.
.

 

[appointed]

My parents smoked when they were younger and became like most when they quit. They were none to happy when they found out that I smoke a pipe and my dad became very angry. I don't know if he knows that I still do it or just keeps his mouth shut, but I don't even mention it in front of him. While my mother still highly disapproves and argues with me about it from time to time, she is more tolerant of it. She has even bought me a pipe rack and a really nice lamb skin pouch. Both sets of my grandparents disapprove, with only one of my grandfathers being vocal about it(he smoked for years). It was ironic getting lectured by my great-uncle while he was smoking a cigarette. My paternal grandfathers don't approve of it, but they smoked for years and figure they don't have much room to criticize me. They also figure that I'm an adult now and am old enough to make such decisions and also that I really enjoy it. Everyone also knows I am really stubborn and am not going to stop until convinced of a good reason. With all that being said, I find it strange that my parents have never been concerned over my drinking despite alcoholism running in the family. As I have said to my mother many times though, if moderate smoking and drinking are my worst vices, then I am doing quite well.

 

[12pups]

papipeguy -- smooth!
kendodan, feel for you. I'd smoked since I was 9. To keep me off cigarettes and as a mean joke on my mother, my dad bought me a pipe. Just the way he was. For me, it was like permission to play Huck Finn, and I really liked Huck Finn (Dad had bought me that book the year before).
Only similar experience might be with my second wife. See, I quit for years. Since 1988, hadn't smoked or stood in a smokestream other than a bonfire. I had quit because of my baby daughter's brand new, pink lungs. I didn't want to be the one who tarnished them. Went through a vicious divorce after 22 years, kids all grown up, last one in college. I'd remarried, but lost my career job, fought off a felony charge my ex tried to stick on me, went through hell, especially during the recession, trying to find a job, going bankrupt finally, cashing in my retirement (my half of it after the divorce) to live. All through that I never smoked. But I hung on, got through it, found a new career.
One day an old, old friend of mine from my past called me up to smoke cigars and drink scotch on his porch. It was nice. I liked the cigar. Smoking was "reawakened" in me. I went through a cigar phase. But then... I went "home" to a pipe. Cigars are fine, but my pipe was me... and my dad... and high school skipping study hall to smoke my pipe... and fishing and my pipe... and college and my pipe... and first years as a teacher with my pipe...
So naturally the love-of-my-life, my best friend and soul mate, was perturbed. "Why after all these years are you smoking again????"
Because... I'm happy again. She was upset and disgusted at first. But now she's cool with that. She just bought me fancy jars to store my tobacco in and she sits with me out back on our patio swing, enjoying a drink together, while I smoke my pipe
What is you, kendodan, is what they love. And now you're a pipesmoker. The scowls fade away and you are ... just you.

 

[tuold]

You provided a very good defense for your hobby. We pipe smokers have mountains of misinformation to overcome. Ever look at the WebMD page on pipe smoking? It would be outright laughable if that kind of nonsense were not so pervasive.
And we all know that wine drinkers are at a high risk for alcoholism. :roll:

 

[andystewart]

Congratulations on your Kendo Dan and on living your dream. That's a great achievement! Your Mum's just being a Mum and - as a father of 3 and grandfather of 2 - I can honestly say that your Dad, like dryseason's is being a Dad. TBH I feel a bit cheated as form the title I was expecting someone to declare that they're gay and proud! Oh well.
Andy

 

[claypipesarchaeologist]

Woodsroad's sharp, honest, yet slightly brutal advice always puts a smile on my face

 

[fadingdaylight]

You said it all yourself brother. If you had listened to her you wouldn't be in Japan right now. You could be in Detroit, smoking crack off of tin foil. But you are in Japan, studying a disciplined martial art and enjoying a noble and mediative hobby. I think you make pretty solid choices on your own.

 

[mrjerke]

My father started me on cigars at 16 and my mother bought me my first pipe so I can't say I feel your pain. I agree with your entire response to your mother. Except, perhaps the Billy Joel part. That I do not condone under any circumstance.

 

[kendodan]

Sorry for the misleading title. :D But well said by everyone

 

[fnord]

KD:
This is, hand's down, one of the best threads I've read in months.
A wonderful opening question with tons of terrific responses.
At your age I was home from spending a couple of years in Argentina and ready for the rest of my life to begin.
The journey is the reward, kiddo, and we've all been there at one time or another.
One of our resident curmudgeons, Woodsroad, added a stinging comment, "Then go and find some good friends so that you don't have to ask total strangers for advice."
Check this out: http://danzphoto.net/# Some hard ass, right? This guy has God's eye.
12pups said it best, "What is you, kendodan, is what they love. And now you're a pipesmoker. The scowls fade away and you are ... just you."
Cheers,
Fnord

 

[kanaka95]

OK cortez and phil67 rmao laughing.Love the humor.I think your mom loves you and all in all her feelings should be respected.But you are an adult an we all have to make choices.I hope you all will ease over and you wont get drilled any more than you have to.Yes it can get very expensive.I am learning that i have to budget myself every paycheck or i could blow some serious cash on baccy and pipes.But im happy my wife gives me a generous budget as she sees me enjoying my bacccy.Plus it keeps me out of her hair.I think if you keep priorities straight budget in check and give mom and dad lots of love and respect you'll be fine.Happy puffs.

 

[sailorjeremy]

Man, I had the total opposite experience with my parents and I'm also 24. Neither of my parents were smokers. When I was 17 I got hooked on cigars and eventually got my dad turned on to the world of Rocky Patels and Cohibas. My mom didn't really care for it but she fully supported our affinity for fine cigars. Eventually I took up pipes and introduced my mother to the fine craftsmanship of briar and meerschaum pipes. Her response was "Oh wow these are beautiful! And their on sale! Do you want me to send you some?" Bless her heart...
Keep doing what you're doing dude. Your parents will love you regardless.

 

[kendodan]

Once again thanks for all the great responses! I wasn't really asking for advice but just sharing my experience because I thought it was amusing and was a great example of what most people think about tobacco. I also wanted to know if anyone else went through the same thing with their parents. You guys shared a lot of great stuff. Just shows there are many different walks of life.
@woodsroad: Uh... excuse me for using the forums?
That being said, I have talked to my mother on Skype several times after that and not a word has been said. She's a funny woman but I love her. I guess we can say that about all our mothers?

 

[instymp]

If I had told my Mom (Bless her Soul) what I was doing when I was growing up she would have flipped out. Got out of High School in 1965 & was a fool before that. Lived in Germany & Malta 5 years prior & in Malta my friends were 6th fleet & Scottish Black Watch.