Views from Older Gents on Sex, Love, and Relationships in the 21st Century

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anotherbob

Lifer
Mar 30, 2019
16,859
31,613
46
In the semi-rural NorthEastern USA
EDIT: Fixed Capitalization in Title (See Rule 9)

I was looking for some wisdom from older men to a somewhat younger guy like myself on what you make of love and sex in today's craz (ier) world?
How it differs from when you were younger etc
The reason I ask is now that I'm approaching consistent point in my manhood - I'd like some various opinions
I've never met the right gal and now it seems even more difficult to even get into whatever exists of a 'dating' scene
People have been belittling me for years for not being married - as if there is something wrong with me - Orson Welles once mentioned the days of 'happy uncles and normalcy in being a bachelor'
But as you know(at least for me) us men have our needs and I'd like to find some kind of consistency with another person
As for love I still believe in it - call me a romantic - But I am not completely against the idea of casual encounters and sex as a part of life if I address it directly. I always assumed that even in marriage as a man grows old the sex becomes secondary albeit a focal point of the
'dirty old man'
what do y'all think? Feel free to vent/deviate
Everybody wants sex and everybody wants intimacy. Well almost everyone. Keeping that in mind helps. And it's better to be alone then with the wrong person out of a misguided desire not to be alone. Woman are more like men then we are told and men are more like women then we're told too because we're all individuals with our own weirdness and needs that can get complex. That said the stereotype of men being easy and woman being frigid is at least partial based on reality. The reality is we are all are into love and sex but finding someone or someones that can sate those desires is where it gets complicated. 30 percent of woman report not having a climax ever with a partner the percentage of men who haven't is almost the same as the number of men who've never been with a partner. If that was reversed men would be pickier and woman looser. The point respect the differences in situation and you'll be ahead of the curve. And finally the old rub still holds if you stay true to yourself it might take longer but at least you'll find someone that actually likes you and not just the act you might think you have to put on. to make someone happy.
 
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anotherbob

Lifer
Mar 30, 2019
16,859
31,613
46
In the semi-rural NorthEastern USA
I've found to this to be good advice:
Think of a woman who, to you, would be perfect in terms of physical, intellectual, emotional, social, etc. attributes. She would be a 10.
Now, shoot for a 7or 8.

I think Adam Carolla said something similar on Loveline.
If you do it right you'll find out the the 7 or 8 in real life turns out better then the 10 would have. Not sure how to explain this but that ideal person not only doesn't exist but often doesn't account for what really makes you happy.
 
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