Trade My Pelican For "Yo' Momma"

[pipesmokingtom]

Yo mamma so fat, you have to connect through Salt Lake just to get on her good side.

 

[goldsm]

Mama's chicken is closed because Yo' mamma was there.

 

[samcoffeeman]

Yo mamma so mean, ISIS said, F*** we surrender!
Yo mamma so fat, when she twerked, the pacific tsunami warning center went code red.

 

[pipesmokingtom]

Yo mamma so fat, her water bed has life guards.

 

[pipesmokingtom]

Yo mamma so fat, her ass is labeled "Press #8, LA Poche Perique Tobacco Co."

 

[edgreen]

OK, that last one has to be the winner.

 

[mranglophile]

Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."

 

[mranglophile]

ooops didnt see Cajuns...great minds think alike. Here is another one.
Yo mama is so stupid she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

 

[smoothsailing]

Yo mama's so fat she puts her lipstick on with a paint roller
Yo mama's so fat she gave Dracula Diabetes.
Yo mama's so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

 

[dustmite]

Yo mama's so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

 

[derfatdutchman]

Yo Mamma so hairy, she has to shave her legs with a weed whacker.

 

[edgreen]

I asked Wilt Chamberlain how many times he did your mama. He said he lost count.

 

[calabashed]

 

[blueeyedogre]

Yo mamma is so fat every time she goes swimming a fleet of Japanese whalers shows up!

Yo mamma is so fat at sea world they throw fish at her for doing tricks.

 

[smoothsailing]

Yo mama's so fat, she got arrested at the airport for ten pounds of crack
Yo mama's so fat she don't need the internet,she's already worldwide.

 

[kcghost]

Yo Mama is so fat Black Holes area afraid of her.

 

[derfatdutchman]

Yo Mamma is so fat when she lays on the beach, Green Peace tries to drag her back into the water.

 

[troutface]

OK, get in your last licks. You have about 24 hours till I announce the winner. Surprised nobody has entered a "Yo momma's pipe is so ugly....."

 

[pipesmokingtom]

The perique one is probably the best I could come up with, but let's try:
Yo mamma so dumb, she took a Cavendish to a pot luck.

 

[fnord]

Trout:
From forty plus years ago:
"Yo momma's so fat her ass has its own zip code."
Still makes me smile today....
Fnord