This Ain't Tobacco. I'm Done.

[mortonbriar]

Yeah, they just don't make fire like they did in the good ol' days. Can't get NUTHIn lit with these darn new fangled flames.

 

[Green Hill Hermit]

I have been smoking a pipe for the last 35 years. I started off with inexpensive briars, stuff like Captain Black, Sail and Amphora before moving on with tinned tobacco 5 or 6 years after beginning. Eventually, I have also upgraded my briars for something better.
I have tried hundreds of brands. I have made a lot of mistakes during these years but kept learning. I've smoked in cold, warm, dry and very humid weather.
Throughout these decades, I cannot remember pipe tobacco being so difficult to smoke as it has been over the last few years. Being never ending moist as the blends I have purchased over the last 3- 4 years have been.
I remember pouch tobacco like Mac Baren and Amphora, in the 90s. If they were not consumed within a few weeks, they would get really dry and bland. Now? Holy cow it never dries up.
What the hell are they doing to my tobacco?
I can't explain how tobacco like Doblone d'Oro, being bone dry (upon opening) and breaking when preparing it, will not light up properly and stay lit. Or how pouch tobacco, after being unsealed for 4 - 5 months, is still super moist and won't smoke properly, even after spending the night drying out on a sheet of paper.
In any case, this morning something snapped after I tried, once more, to enjoy a pipeful.
Frustration took the better out of me. Threw out a bunch of tins.
I've had it being sold garbage manufacturers call 'pipe tobacco'. That ain't it no more.
I am done. I am giving up smoking a pipe. This is not even worth it anymore.
Manufacturers can take whatever they add to the tobacco and shove it. I worked too hard for my money.
Yes, I am angry. Rightfully so.
I never thought this day would come, but it did.
I wonder how many new guys we're losing who try and try and try and say screw this and smoke cigars, instead.
Because this is what I am going to do, from now on.
Smoke cigars. At least, they are smokeable and still made of tobacco. Unlike pipe 'tobacco'.

Over the next weeks I will be putting up my cellar for sale, for the benefit of the Canadian members. Watch out for some really sweet deal

 

[Green Hill Hermit]

Well that's it. If a Canadian is angry then it must be a critical situation!

 

[rsshreck32]

 

[Davy]

@sablebrush52: exactly, my tins are dated 2020 and more recent.
@mso489, @LeafErikson, @jbfrady, @PipeIT, @Tate, @Reggie, @frozenchurchwarden: thank you for the sensible comments & suggestions.

 

[PipeIT]

Pipes can certainly be finnicky. I would try a blend that has no propylene glycol in it. Most Cornell & Diehl ribbon cut bulk blends are just tobacco and water. There's also nothing wrong with smoking cigars either. I stick to pipes because they're much less expensive.

Where did you get this information about C&D ribbon cut bulk blends?

I thought C&D uses PG in all of their blends.... hmm

@jeremyreeves If you’re around, some feedback here might be greatly appreciated.

P.S. @Davy no worries, many of us understand smoking pipes can be a challenge and frustrating at times, even smoking an enjoyable blend, for many odd reasons at some points too, can even become less enjoyable.

 

[mikethompson]

two pipe forums

There is only one true pipe forum.

 

[captainsousie]

There is only one true pipe forum.

One pipe forum to rule them all, one Peterson to find them, One tobacco to bring them all, and in the Latakia bind them; In the Land of Florida where the shadows lie.

 

[Puffaluffaguss]

Really brings out that summer nuance

Nothing like the smell of lighter fluid to go with that DFK barbecue smell mmmmmm. New small batch maybe?

 

[Tate]

Nothing like the smell of lighter fluid to go with that DFK barbecue smell mmmmmm. New small batch maybe?

New thread in tobacco blending loading

 

[georged]

There is only one true pipe forum.

Soon(ish) that will be literally true. MelvinBoards eventually become echo chambers and do the dinosaur thing.

 

[AroEnglish]

Soon(ish) that will be literally true. MelvinBoards eventually become echo chambers and do the dinosaur thing.

What are MelvinBoards?

 

[georged]

What are MelvinBoards?

Ones that are run by someone who enjoys Being In Charge, and interprets everything he reads through a lens that will allow him to demonstrate that fact.

The name comes from a pre-Internet-era (UseNet) pipe bulletin board that was run by a guy named Melvin Schwartz, who took satisfaction in deliberately pissing people off. He'd delete people's submissions (many were paragraphs long---there was no banter in those days because responses took 24 hours) and tell them why only afterward... and it was usually for something like spelling or grammar. Or truly made no sense at all.

Why anyone put up with it is because in those days creating an alternative was difficult and expensive (websites were years away).

 

[brian64]

So Melvin is the male Karen. I learn something here every day.

 

[HawkeyeLinus]

Move!

 

[sablebrush52]

Ones that are run by someone who enjoys Being In Charge, and interprets everything he reads through a lens that will allow him to demonstrate that fact.

The name comes from a pre-Internet-era (UseNet) pipe bulletin board that was run by a guy named Melvin Schwartz, who took satisfaction in deliberately pissing people off. He'd delete people's submissions (many were paragraphs long---there was no banter in those days because responses took 24 hours) and tell them why only afterward... and it was usually for something like spelling or grammar. Or truly made no sense at all.

Why anyone put up with it is because in those days creating an alternative was difficult and expensive (websites were years away).

Good old Melvin Schwartz. God, was he the putz in excelsis.
He was a moderator on Pipes.org and the second worst moderator on the planet. I say second because I don’t all the moderators out there, so it’s possible there was someone even worse.
Sad, sad, little man.

 

[bluegrassbrian]

Good old Melvin Schwartz. God, was he the putz in excelsis.
He was a moderator on Pipes.org and the second worst moderator on the planet. I say second because I don’t all the moderators out there, so it’s possible there was someone even worse.
Sad, sad, little man.

What ever happened to ol Mel?

 

[woodsroad]

So, you are into casing your tobaccos?

Yes.
Don’t want to get busted for casing the joint.

 

[sablebrush52]

What ever happened to ol Mel?

Who knows. What Melvin didn’t destroy the site owner finished off when he bungled migrating to a new platform, severing the connection to its forum for about a month. By the time it was fixed it was too late.
Eventually I ended up here and have been a destructive presence ever since.

 

[AroEnglish]

Move!View attachment 251163

As a Vancouver native I think this is ridiculously and shamefully accurate.