The (Un)Official PipesMagazine Secret Santa 2021!

[TheDesertPiper]

What's a mile?

I can't be certain, but I believe its way cooler and pulls more ladies than the kilometer ever could.

 

[Bengel]

For all those Internationalist Jews?

I guess just because of the Hebrew, which I can’t read?

 

[woodsroad]

What's a mile?

Ok, maybe it was 3 cubits.

 

[mikethompson]

Ok, maybe it was 3 cubits.

Metric cubits?

 

[woodsroad]

Metric cubits?

Imperial.

 

[Streeper541]

Metric cubits?

Three internationalist Jewish cubits. ?

 

[jaytex1969]

What's a mile?

It's a long way to run when you are still drunk from the night before and there's an angry platoon sergeant giving you the evil eye because you were almost late to formation and stinking of liquor.

ANYONE can run a kilometer....

 

[Ahi Ka]

I can't be certain, but I believe its way cooler and pulls more ladies than the kilometer ever could.

Miles got wiles, but k’s get lays - not sure if that translates to American English properly or reads like a post from @JOHN72

 

[augiebd]

My Secret Santa gift successfully arrived on the front porch this morning. My plan is to wait to open it, which I am excited to do.

 

[woodsroad]

My Secret Santa gift successfully arrived on the front porch this morning. My plan is to wait to open it, which I am excited to do.

Good luck with that.

 

[augiebd]

Good luck with that.

Yeah…I’m already rationalizing convincing reasons to open the package. Too many days left!

 

[mikethompson]

My plan is to wait to open it, which I am excited to do.

That's what everyone is doing, except the 'wait' part varies. I say shake the package and if it doesn't yelp or squeak, you can wait to open it.

 

[Kozeman]

View attachment 113296

I didn't realize Cosmic was sporting the Richard Simmons hair doo.

 

[Kozeman]

Ahh now @scloyd is using impflip!


No kidding! Why are we on an internet forum in the first place!

Thanks. I was wondering what sw did that. So easy even a caveman could do it.

 

[winton]

Over the years, I have developed a process for handling the SS box. When it arrives on our porch, I hand it to my wife and she open it, to inspects the contents. If she finds anything edible, she gives it to me. Then she closes the box and puts it under the tree, until Christmas. WHY? Because I have heard of Secret Santa boxes that have pies in them.

 

[HawkeyeLinus]

That's what everyone is doing, except the 'wait' part varies. I say shake the package and if it doesn't yelp or squeak, you can wait to open it.

If by magic it appears under my tree I'll wait until Xmas - if I pull it out of the mailbox or it's sitting outside the garage (and with so many other packages coming I'm not going to know it's from Secret Santa) it's getting opened! No way I'm ceding "power" to the wife to open my stuff!!!! Our schedules are such that my stuff is usually opened and stashed away before anyone else knows I even got it!

 

[mikethompson]

Because I have heard of Secret Santa boxes that have pies in them.

Dan tried to send me cowpies one year, does that count?

 

[cosmicfolklore]

View attachment 113301

Hey, I have never complained about dumb questions. I am the master of dumb answers though, ha ha.

 

[Bengel]

 

[trouttimes]