What's wrong with it?Most recently telling my wife this is what I want for ChristmasView attachment 177527
The Most Moronic Thing You’ve Ever Done
- Thread starter dctune
- Start date
The look she gave me after I showed her. She said are you f#cking crazy? Then I got to hear the "you already spend $$$ on tobacco and pipes and now you wanna buy a $200 lighter? Again are you f#cking crazy? "
Oh I have plenty, but one that springs to mind is waking up to my cell phone alarm, and promptly dropping the phone in my glass of water...bit of a Mr Bean moment.
Yesterday I was so tired that I pulled the keys out of the ignition with the intention of lighting my pipe with them.
Yesterday I was so tired that I pulled the keys out of the ignition with the intention of lighting my pipe with them.
Giving up a six figure career to go into business for myself. Chasing a dream of selling and making pipes. Now I'm poor and happy. And stressed and sleep little. But I'm not miserable. Lol.
The merely dumb stuff doesn't matter much. Being human. The dangerous and inadvertently cruel stuff can creep up on me and make me think I'm an idiot. I avoid that list and those self recriminations, which do nothing to improve my behavior or increase my good will toward others. Life is hard.
This from Eleanor Roosevelt, paraphrased. You wouldn't care so much about what other people think of you if you knew how little they think of you at all.
This from Eleanor Roosevelt, paraphrased. You wouldn't care so much about what other people think of you if you knew how little they think of you at all.
I once put a .380 round through my leg.
Marrying for sex is like shaving for a beard.
I don't scream as much. He always gave me a headache.
1986 I was scuba diving in Aruba. There was a sunken German freighter we were going in and out of. Most people can only stay down half hour to an hour but I could stay longer by skip breathing and using breathing to keep neutrally buoyant. Most people had to use their vests to add or take away air. The dive masters were pissed having to stay down with me.
Well one time I forgot to look at my air gauged and you are supposed to come up with 500 pounds. When I looked I only had 2. I skipped breathed as far as I could then I had to just swim as hard as I could to get to the top. I sucked every drop of air out of that tank and I was lucky I didn't get the bends. I never did that again as it was pretty scary.
Well one time I forgot to look at my air gauged and you are supposed to come up with 500 pounds. When I looked I only had 2. I skipped breathed as far as I could then I had to just swim as hard as I could to get to the top. I sucked every drop of air out of that tank and I was lucky I didn't get the bends. I never did that again as it was pretty scary.
I was surprised to discover some years ago that the only "thrill type" hobby-sport---meaning motorcycle racing, hang gliding, rock climbing, and so forth---that's MORE dangerous than scuba diving is sky diving.
I suppose kid-friendly shows like Sea Hunt and Flipper in TV's early days gave the public a distorted view of it.
In my experience, amateur divers tend to do stupid things as they become "expert" at the activity. They take a pass on rules and, sometimes, that bites them in the ass. I can only speak about skydiving through conversations with friends ... So I'll refrain.
In kindergarten, circa 1983, my and the guys all had a plan that we were each gonna say one cuss word at the dinner that night in front of our parents, then come back to school the next day and, like men, boast of our accomplishment.
My word was
.
I can still remember like it was yesterday.
We were something on the small rabbit ear TV in the kitchen while we ate. The signal got a little messed up.
I just went for it.
“What the’s wrong with the TV!?!?!?”
The sound of forks hitting plates. My folks look at me dumbfounded for a moment. Then the moment passed and mom grabbed me by my arm and started yelling while she hauled me to the bathroom.
Now, getting my mouth washed out with soap wasn’t like in the movies where they just stuff a whole bar in there. You do your time, then it’s done.
No.
My mother took my toothbrush. Wetted the soap. Brushed the soap with my toothbrush until it was good and lathered. Then proceeded to thoroughly take an in my dental hygiene. Teeth. Tongue. Roof of the mouth. It was awful. And that flavor lingered on the toothbrush for the next couple days.
Went back to school the next day quite proud of myself. Us men reconvened. Well, actually, I, a man, reconvened with what I thought were men a day earlier. Turns out, literally every single one of these non-men puny weeny boys chickened out. Except me. And rather than receive a hero’s welcome, they all agreed that I took an incredibly stupid risk that they were all intelligent enough to think better of when it came to it.
I wish I could say that’s the only time Dial and Oral-B got together in my mouth. But my dad was in the navy. So literally, a sailor. And early on, I picked up some of vernacular. And my mother faithfully cleaned my mouth until it started to get the idea. And it took quite a few cleanings.
My word was
. I can still remember like it was yesterday.
We were something on the small rabbit ear TV in the kitchen while we ate. The signal got a little messed up.
I just went for it.
“What the
’s wrong with the TV!?!?!?”The sound of forks hitting plates. My folks look at me dumbfounded for a moment. Then the moment passed and mom grabbed me by my arm and started yelling while she hauled me to the bathroom.
Now, getting my mouth washed out with soap wasn’t like in the movies where they just stuff a whole bar in there. You do your time, then it’s done.
No.
My mother took my toothbrush. Wetted the soap. Brushed the soap with my toothbrush until it was good and lathered. Then proceeded to thoroughly take an in my dental hygiene. Teeth. Tongue. Roof of the mouth. It was awful. And that flavor lingered on the toothbrush for the next couple days.
Went back to school the next day quite proud of myself. Us men reconvened. Well, actually, I, a man, reconvened with what I thought were men a day earlier. Turns out, literally every single one of these non-men puny weeny boys chickened out. Except me. And rather than receive a hero’s welcome, they all agreed that I took an incredibly stupid risk that they were all intelligent enough to think better of when it came to it.
I wish I could say that’s the only time Dial and Oral-B got together in my mouth. But my dad was in the navy. So literally, a sailor. And early on, I picked up some of vernacular. And my mother faithfully cleaned my mouth until it started to get the idea. And it took quite a few cleanings.
I once enlisted the help of two friends and borrowed a small inflatable dinghy with an engine. Wrapped up against the cold weather we set off early in the morning and motored about a mile up the estuary to a nearby boat club.
My plan was to tow home the sailing dinghy I had just bought whilst putting the trolley on the small inflatable.
Unbeknown to me, also up early that morning was Her Majesties Customs and Excise. They were doing a drugs raid on the cruisers at the sailing club. They had sealed off the entrance to the club.
Then I turned up.
My plan was to tow home the sailing dinghy I had just bought whilst putting the trolley on the small inflatable.
Unbeknown to me, also up early that morning was Her Majesties Customs and Excise. They were doing a drugs raid on the cruisers at the sailing club. They had sealed off the entrance to the club.
Then I turned up.