Years ago when my chosen profession as a uniform state level cop working in a rural area of N.Y was fun. I frequently stoped for a break at a local diner. Upon entering the waitress would rush from behind the counter a give me a kiss on the cheek and I would reciprocate by patting her on the butt. All the other patrons would spill their coffee laughing. This was known as identity with the community not sexual harassment.
The Good Old Days
- Thread starter Pipeoff
- Start date
SmokingPipes.com Updates
Watch for Updates Twice a Week
PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor
Site Sponsors
PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor
PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor
PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor
PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor
- Status
Really LOL??? WOW!!! What a hoot!!! Glad You had that trust and good cheer both toward and from others. Good For You and Thank You for Your Service!
(Somewhat unrelated) Question & Background
--Background
I had a friend in the Texas State Police (Dept. of Public Safety-DPS) who was really into that line of work--got into narcotics interdiction on the Rio Grande River border in South Texas where we both lived--he eventually moved over/up into being a Texas Ranger. I share this NOT TO SAY "look our cool my friends are" (actually, I kind'a felt sorry for him--he was limited because of his job in some big ways--down deep he had a really kind and soft heart for others--when we went with water, food and supplies and set up helping to rebuild houses--he couldn't go along because of his "day" job and I think it hurt him!). He told me he was trained to think that EVERYONE he met or encountered somehow, including his neighbors and friends, were all breaking the law in some way or another.
--Question
Is that accurate? Do lots--or most--Law Enforcement think that way of others after extensive training? Sort of like General Maddox saying something about being nice to everyone but always be thinking how you could kill them (USMC--I do recall something of that mindset from Parris Island--BUT some notable PIPERS where and on Youtube we know and love who are retired USMC and clearly are people who are open to others, welcoming, helpful and kindly disposed). I have a close relative who is retired US Secret Service and he actually enjoyed and was thrilled when he had occasion to hurt and dominate others. Perhaps it's just like everything else--"takes all kinds!" On behalf of LEO--let me say I have two friends, both LEO--one current and one former, haven risen through the ranks to supervisory roles--both are truly and deeply compassionate and almost trusting of others (LOL). My experience in life is that people down deep can and do surprise--us AND ourselves--for good AND ill--and there's no hard and fast rule. Just wondering and puffing
kindly
mike
(Somewhat unrelated) Question & Background
--Background
I had a friend in the Texas State Police (Dept. of Public Safety-DPS) who was really into that line of work--got into narcotics interdiction on the Rio Grande River border in South Texas where we both lived--he eventually moved over/up into being a Texas Ranger. I share this NOT TO SAY "look our cool my friends are" (actually, I kind'a felt sorry for him--he was limited because of his job in some big ways--down deep he had a really kind and soft heart for others--when we went with water, food and supplies and set up helping to rebuild houses--he couldn't go along because of his "day" job and I think it hurt him!). He told me he was trained to think that EVERYONE he met or encountered somehow, including his neighbors and friends, were all breaking the law in some way or another.
--Question
Is that accurate? Do lots--or most--Law Enforcement think that way of others after extensive training? Sort of like General Maddox saying something about being nice to everyone but always be thinking how you could kill them (USMC--I do recall something of that mindset from Parris Island--BUT some notable PIPERS where and on Youtube we know and love who are retired USMC and clearly are people who are open to others, welcoming, helpful and kindly disposed). I have a close relative who is retired US Secret Service and he actually enjoyed and was thrilled when he had occasion to hurt and dominate others. Perhaps it's just like everything else--"takes all kinds!" On behalf of LEO--let me say I have two friends, both LEO--one current and one former, haven risen through the ranks to supervisory roles--both are truly and deeply compassionate and almost trusting of others (LOL). My experience in life is that people down deep can and do surprise--us AND ourselves--for good AND ill--and there's no hard and fast rule. Just wondering and puffing
kindly
mike
When a woman rushes from behind the counter and gives you a kiss, that seems to confer a degree of consent, however I wouldn't want to discuss it in court. Good for her and you to know your ground and give the other patrons a smile. Today, it wouldn't be a good idea, I don't think.
" Today, it wouldn't be a good idea, I don't think." Probably not...too many butt-hurt folks looking for a reason to complain and look to be a victim. JMHO.
And onlookers looking for something to be offended by.
I normally didn't assault wait staff when I was a copper and in uniform. If Rick Lord was your chief or supervisor back then, consider yourself lucky I didn't find out about it.
It’s all about context.
Believe or not, back in the day, men & women sometimes playfully flirted with one another. Not that they intended to act on that flirting necessarily. It was just a recognition that yes, they were men and women. It’s obvious that this waitress & cop were being playful. She didn’t feel harassed & he wasn’t being an aggressor; quite the opposite.
In today’s PC world where a kindergartner saying ‘Bang’ and pointing his finger like a gun to play ‘Army’ would probably cause his teacher to call SWAT (or at least the principal & school psychologist) - context is a concept fewer people seem to grasp IMO.
Believe or not, back in the day, men & women sometimes playfully flirted with one another. Not that they intended to act on that flirting necessarily. It was just a recognition that yes, they were men and women. It’s obvious that this waitress & cop were being playful. She didn’t feel harassed & he wasn’t being an aggressor; quite the opposite.
In today’s PC world where a kindergartner saying ‘Bang’ and pointing his finger like a gun to play ‘Army’ would probably cause his teacher to call SWAT (or at least the principal & school psychologist) - context is a concept fewer people seem to grasp IMO.
I’m not a cop & have never been a cop. (Have been in the military, but that’s an entirely different thing.) - - Cops have been granted a kind of authority & office by the public. Never having been a cop, I don’t know how the behavior on the job described earlier may have impacted that authority & office back at the time it happened ‘years ago’. Perhaps behavior that’s flirtatious cannot be viewed the same for such holders of public responsibility.
Physical assault goes way beyond flirting. I became a copper back in '67. On my department such behavior would have gotten the offender canned. But, as one can see reading the newspapers, different departments have different standards of conduct. Local citizenry will accept substandard behavior, by my standards, also. Different locales make different demands on their employees.
A police officer in uniform, under arms, is an authority figure who should always be mindful of his place in society. Overstepping the bounds of proper behavior? Such would not have been tolerated by either my bosses or my employers the taxpayers). The waitress may have simply tolerated such behavior because she feared a traffic citation later in the day. There are hundreds of reasons a person meekly accepts being treated in a demeaning manner. Not being a "shrink" I'm not going there. She apparently instigated the activity and he went along with it. So, in upstate NY I suppose it was no harm no foul. Like I wrote different places have high or low expectations for law enforcement.
A police officer in uniform, under arms, is an authority figure who should always be mindful of his place in society. Overstepping the bounds of proper behavior? Such would not have been tolerated by either my bosses or my employers the taxpayers). The waitress may have simply tolerated such behavior because she feared a traffic citation later in the day. There are hundreds of reasons a person meekly accepts being treated in a demeaning manner. Not being a "shrink" I'm not going there. She apparently instigated the activity and he went along with it. So, in upstate NY I suppose it was no harm no foul. Like I wrote different places have high or low expectations for law enforcement.
Last edited:
Either that or she likes to kiss men in uniform and get spanked by them later. Seriously, this isn’t that strange. Today it is what it is but women are just as sexual as men. Just go about it differently. They cheat on their husbands and abandon their kids for some real losers, right?
Being married for 42 years, I never touched a woman that way for two reasons., I am married and I have children. If I didn't know you, seeing a police officer do that, I would assume you had a romantic relationship, otherwise, your problem not mine....LOL!!
And, I always add what my grandfather said, "the good old days were not always that good".
And, I always add what my grandfather said, "the good old days were not always that good".
Sorry my actions may have offended a few of the readers but the semi military authority mind set is exactly why there is a big gap between the public and police. To show you are human like everyone is not a bad thing. I worked with and for the public not just part of the Governor’s army. My door was always open to the men under my command and the public that provided information to stop the bad guys. Troopers worked with me not for me. Paper shufflers have insulated themselves from what the public needs. In 35 yrs on the job, no higher up supervision stopped at the stations only sent apointes to nit pick our operation. Do as I say only got momentary compliance and destroyed moral.
I belong to a Motorcycle Club.
In a male dominated atmosphere, there are still a lot of women who either are members or in some clubs, property - so to say.
My point is that in those settings, it becomes crystal clear to me that the women are not shy about or fearful of being sexualized to some extent or in any way want to be around anyone who isn't a "man".
Obviously, in the professional setting, the public setting, and even the private setting, treating people with respect and deference is important for many, many reasons, primarily the most important one is that it is the right thing to do.
However, American society has deemed it necessary to de-sexualize all aspects of public life - while at the same time glorifying all aspects of sexuality in the movies, videos, media, billboards, advertisements, etc. This sends a confusing message - a message that pollutes our attempts to be professional, but human.
When I interact with a person do I ignore them by pretending they are asexual and merely some human being mannequin without a sense of sexuality?
I am not one to judge you - nor should anyone, really. Slapping a woman's ass in public isn't something I would do or feel appropriate, but ignoring her as a woman is something I don't believe is appropriate as well. It's in the small things - the tip of the hat, opening the door, showing deference.
Unless those things have become taboo, too.
Cops shouldnt be allowed to flirt with the public because there is always the implied threat of violence when dealing with police. The cop could do whatever he wants and in a court of law, his word will always be more powerful than the citizen. One must comply or face the consequences set out by the cop. Not exactly a very friendly or romantic vibe
I’m old fashioned, keep your hands to yourself, Cop or no Cop,
I agree, but I think this misses the OPs point; being human is something that has begun to pass us by. Yes, of course nostalgia for the past precludes some of the terrible aspects of the past such as using authority to freely abuse or dominate others - but I believe the OP understands that.
As an example, in our school districts code of sexual harassment, winking is seen as harassment. And can and has been written up for those who gave unwanted winks.
- Status