The American Tourist - Clumsy Travel Mistakes

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timelord

Part of the Furniture Now
Oct 30, 2017
956
1,980
Gallifrey
I wouldn't recommend driving in Indian. Indian drivers do not use wing mirrors and rely on hooting the horn to let other drivers know they are overtaking... ...actually it's not so different in São Paulo!
 
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Dec 10, 2013
2,499
3,161
Nijmegen, the Netherlands
When visiting the Dutch TT races at Assen for the first time in 1987 me and my pal walked into a bar and I asked for 2 pints of schnapps. The guy looked at me funny so I repeated my request.

Long story short, for some reason I thought schnapps was a kind of beer! Seeing how red faced I was at my mistake the guy poured us both a shot of schnapps and refused payment.

I'll bet he still to this day relates the time two leather clad bikers from England made utter fools of themselves in his bar :mad:.

Regards,

Jay.
And "schnaps" is not even Dutch, but German.
In the eighties we were still a little sensitive to anything of German origin.
Sorry Jay, just saying.
 
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OzPiper

Lifer
Nov 30, 2020
6,209
33,772
71
Sydney, Australia
Having dinner in a small French bistro
La patronne was doing the rounds of the tables asking if everyone enjoyed their meals

A very English voice behind me replied “ yes, once I got over my surprise that the marrow was not a vegetable”

By the way, MY grilled BONE marrow was delicious 😋
 

Kirklands

Starting to Get Obsessed
Jul 26, 2023
104
138
70
Kansas City, Missouri
I lived in Bolivia for seven years, and the opportunity for cultural misunderstanding never ended. Because of bad roads, the driving was slow with lots of push and shove in the intersections etc with ample horn blowing. One thing I learned, however, was that there was a smile just below the surface because Bolivians did not take themselves too seriously.
 

Hillcrest

Lifer
Dec 3, 2021
3,160
15,582
Bagshot Row, Hobbiton
The cheek kissing in France seems like it’d be easy to overlook an American messing up, but I got some pretty offended looks if I forgot to do it or didn’t know if it was a double or single kiss affair. I was there three months and never got the hang of it.
The Hungarian word for kiss is puszi (silent z). And double puszi is the norm. Also its often used to say goodbye on the phone to loved ones which might confuse those within earshot who don't speak Hungarian. ;) :ROFLMAO:
 

brian64

Lifer
Jan 31, 2011
9,854
15,544
Speaking of travel mistakes, I doubt anyone's story would top this one...causing an international flight to turn around 2 hours in and go back to Atlanta due to having diarrhea "all over the plane".

 

telescopes

Pipe Dreamer and Star Gazer
Fortunately I had a good natured Bartender in Belfast. I ordered an Irish Car Bomb and he happily made one for me without complaint. He then chuckled and said, "I haven't had one ordered in over 25 years." I think he was good natured about it mostly because I engaged him in some innocent conversation first. Still, I don't know what I was thinking. I do appreciate the memory.
 
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telescopes

Pipe Dreamer and Star Gazer
The other thing I have done from time to time, both in Paris and Amsterdam, is to forget to engage the shopkeeper or sales person in courtesy chit-chat before moving on to a sale or inquiry about a product. In America it is common to say, "How much is that .... or Can I see such and such..."

I found the French and to some extend the people in Amsterdam to correct me with "Good Morning" or "How are you doing?" or something along those lines. To which I then correct myself. Even beginning with a Hello is not enough of a courtesy.

If you travel enough, no matter how much you think you know, exhaustion and weariness will eventually trip you up.
 
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The other thing I have done from time to time, both in Paris and Amsterdam, is to forget to engage the shopkeeper or sales person in courtesy chit-chat before moving on to a sale or inquiry about a product. In America it is common to say, "How much is that .... or Can I see such and such..."

I found the French and to some extend the people in Amsterdam to correct me with "Good Morning" or "How are you doing?" or something along those lines. To which I then correct myself. Even beginning with a Hello is not enough of a courtesy.

If you travel enough, no matter how much you think you know, exhaustion and weariness will eventually trip you up.
This was one of the things that I didn't care for, as well as bartering. I hate bartering. They usually already want pennies on the dollar, why do they want me to talk them down? It never made sense to me. I would usually just walk away from their "peasant" little negotiation, only to have them running after me with a lower price, exasperated that I would walk away.
 
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woodsroad

Lifer
Oct 10, 2013
12,121
17,793
SE PA USA
I am put off by a lack of public restrooms all over the world. Even in US cities, no one wants you piss in public, but then they never give you an option... unless you want to buy a drink just to piss. And, I have bought many a drink just to piss, never touching the drink. I just prefer small cities, with more piss friendly businesses, or more public restrooms.
Chicago and New York get F's for public bathrooms availability.
While technically not a foreign country, I concur with you about NYC. I spent about ten years working there on a freelance basis, driving in and driving out, usually on the same day. I pissed all over that city. With the exception of the few franchised fast food restaurants with parking lots and construction sites with spot-a-pots, there is no place for a motorist (or pedestrian for that matter) to take a leak. I got to the point where I could pull over, take a whiz, and be back in the car and on my way in under a minute. Much cleaner and better smelling that any other public restroom!
 
While technically not a foreign country, I concur with you about NYC. I spent about ten years working there on a freelance basis, driving in and driving out, usually on the same day. I pissed all over that city. With the exception of the few franchised fast food restaurants with parking lots and construction sites with spot-a-pots, there is no place for a motorist (or pedestrian for that matter) to take a leak. I got to the point where I could pull over, take a whiz, and be back in the car and on my way in under a minute. Much cleaner and better smelling that any other public restroom!
In Chicago, I walked into a bar to use the restroom. I DID see the sign that said patrons only. I was willing to pay for a beer that I had no intention of drinking to be able to piss. But, then engaged the conversation of ridiculousness. "You have to drink the beer, sir."
"But, I don't like beer."
"why did you buy it then?"
"Because I have to piss."
"That doesn't make sense."
"I know, right?"

I am also certain that pre-Uber Taxis in big cities were all used as toilets, That's what they all smelled like. I wonder if Uber has increased the demand for toilets.
 

woodsroad

Lifer
Oct 10, 2013
12,121
17,793
SE PA USA
After a couple of frantic, wide-eyed dashes into restaurants in NYC that I am certain rivaled any entry that Kramer ever made on the Seinfeld set, I gave up and either did as the natives did and treat the entire city as the toilet that it is, or kept an old Nalgene bottle in the car.
 

brian64

Lifer
Jan 31, 2011
9,854
15,544
After a couple of frantic, wide-eyed dashes into restaurants in NYC that I am certain rivaled any entry that Kramer ever made on the Seinfeld set, I gave up and either did as the natives did and treat the entire city as the toilet that it is, or kept an old Nalgene bottle in the car.
I love how the dominant theme in this thread from the beginning has been about public restrooms and associated problems lol.


 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,541
Both my late wife and my wife were/are better drivers than I am. I am hopelessly deliberate and strictly drivers ed. My one speeding experience was on a road trip with two buddies in college, from Chicago to Florida where we pretty much kept up a ninety miles an hour pace. The tires were good, so I'm here today. This was in a Rambler American station wagon! Otherwise, I'm strictly drivers ed, and occasionally risk being murdered for driving too slowly looking for a turn where the street sign is far back in the bushes.

However... with both my wives, overseas, where the driving is in the left lane, they have always tossed the keys to me, on the basis that, if I am going to be so damned deliberate, I might not kill us both. Frankly, I wouldn't try it again today. But at the time, even having to shift manually with my left hand, I did okay, translating the left turns into right turns and so on, and seated on the right hand side of the car.

In UK and Ireland, I believe when the roads reach a certain degree of narrowness, they build a stone wall on each side of the road.

My wife is an experienced Manhattan driver and also spent years of her life on the Long Island Expressway which in addition to having fast traffic, have what I am sure are lanes at least six inches more narrow than most states. There's one turn in Midtown Manhattan where you make a left from an intensely busy street and suddenly find yourself (it seems) driving at forty down a narrow hallway in the basement of a building. Luckily my wife was driving, so it was just a thrill for me.

My late wife was was what I considered NASCAR qualified. Though she wore glasses, she had incredible peripheral vision and unbreakable concentration. When she was ill toward the end, and I wasn't with her, some yahoo in a truck tried to run her off the road. Poor bastard. She could have run him into a bridge embankment and kept going, and I guess he figured that out since he dropped back and quit the chase. Mostly, people never honked or gestured; she knew where everyone was at all times. The highways in heaven are safe with her.
 
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timelord

Part of the Furniture Now
Oct 30, 2017
956
1,980
Gallifrey
If you want a bit of excitement when driving in London; take a large car through the side (not the main tunnel) into the centre of Heathrow Airport. A Mercedes E class has at most a couple of inches spare on each side; I found the best approach was just to go for it staring straight ahead... ...and don't even think about sneezing.
 
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HelligeGall

Lurker
Jul 22, 2024
1
1
Once, while in Japan, I got on the wrong side of the train platform and ended up going in the opposite direction for an hour before realizing it. Another time, I tried to tip a waiter in Australia, only to be told tipping isn't customary there.
 
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