The American Tourist - Clumsy Travel Mistakes

[telescopes]

Really, this thread applies to anyone who travels outside their own country. This morning, I was recalling an incident that happened when I was in Spain. Actually, I saw it happen several times. My wife and I had pulled over at a gas station/rest stop and I went down stairs to use the men's room. At the same time, a group of American tourists entered the building and many of the men from the group headed downstairs to do the same. Like me, they were all looking for the urinals. There were none to be found. Stalls, yes. However, along the wall was the oddest looking water trough made of ceramic tiles any of us had ever seen. It had faucets and seemed rather large to be a urinal or even the type you might see at a baseball stadium. I decided to use the stall and when I came out all of the men had relieved themselves into the trough. On my way out, I asked a worker what the odd looking trough was and they said, "Why, it is for washing your feet." Muslims who are passing by during the Call to Prayer were to avail themselves of this so that they could purify themselves.

Well, I wondered? I guess all those jokes about people being too stupid to know how to use a toilet might apply equally.

Anyway, I do wonder how many muslim men wander into the bathroom preparing to wash their feet only to find a tourist peeing in their foot wash area?

I still laugh when I think about it.

So, does anyone else have funny travel stories about tripping over culture expectations?

 

[yanoJL]

As a teenager, my grandparents took me to Mexico. They both spoke Spanish as their first language, I however do not.
They wanted to take me to the zoo, where they had a successful live birth of a baby panda. On the way back to our hotel, we found ourselves on a very crowded, rush-hour bus.
As we got off the bus near our hotel in Mexico city, my grandfather noticed that he had been pick-pocketed. His wallet was gone. And my grandmother really let him have it. She started ripping him for being careless. The berating was mostly in Spanish, but I could pick up a few words.
The tongue lashing ended with her saying something like "if you were careful, like me, you would still have your wallet" as she proudly showed how she held her purse close to her body.
Then she looked inside.
No wallet in her purse.
They got her too!

 

[HawkeyeLinus]

Been lucky to avoid any cultural faux pax, but as our trip to Ireland confirmed, I manage to gravitate towards my own kind when abroad.

 

[seaweed]

The cheek kissing in France seems like it’d be easy to overlook an American messing up, but I got some pretty offended looks if I forgot to do it or didn’t know if it was a double or single kiss affair. I was there three months and never got the hang of it.

 

[ThermionicScott]

The cheek kissing in France seems like it’d be easy to overlook an American messing up, but I got some pretty offended looks if I forgot to do it or didn’t know if it was a double or single kiss affair. I was there three months and never got the hang of it.

Paul Taylor has a great bit about "la bise" in his show. Everyone can laugh about that one.

 

[sablebrush52]

With the exception of several trips outside the US for business, I haven't traveled abroad in decades. When I had the time I didn't have the money and when I had the money I didn't have the time.
Still, this topic reminds me of an experience I had while backpacking around Western Europe when I was 19. I was hanging out in Firenze, (Florence to you dullards...) taking in all the the amazing renaissance art and wound up connecting with a very beautiful American coed, who was wandering around the Uffizi Gallery. We really hit it off, and as the day went on she gave definite signs of being interested in more than gallery and museum hopping. Toward the end of the afternoon we wound up at the Duomo, which she very much wanted to see, and intent on further impressing her with my knowledge of renaissance art I began to describe the importance of Ghilberti's Gates Of Paradise. Suddenly she started laughing not in a way that was promising. I looked to where she was staring and realized that I had just been bombed by one of the pigeons resting atop the doors and as I looked up, caught a face full. Needless to say, the mood had, uhhh...shifted.

To paraphrase Dante, it became "Abandon all hope, ye who had hoped to enter here."

This may have been the birth of the phrase, shit happens.

 

[mortonbriar]

@sablebrush52 I just finished reading the Divine Comedy, maybe a month ago, and 'shit happens' could definitely be attributed to Dante but I like to think he also consulted Tom Hanks.

I was at a urinal in a VERY rural village in China, 2003 and the middle aged guy standing next to me suddenly realised he was standing next to a foreigner, probably his first time ever seeing one. He gasped, and with mouth wide open, swivelled around to stare at me...and pissed on my leg. There are not many occasions when you let a leg pissing incident slide, but I did for this guy, we both got a story out of it.

 

[The Amish Tyrant]

With the exception of several trips outside the US for business, I haven't traveled abroad in decades. When I had the time I didn't have the money and when I had the money I didn't have the time.
Still, this topic reminds me of an experience I had while backpacking around Western Europe when I was 19. I was hanging out in Firenze, (Florence to you dullards...) taking in all the the amazing renaissance art and wound up connecting with a very beautiful American coed, who was wandering around the Uffizi Gallery. We really hit it off, and as the day went on she gave definite signs of being interested in more than gallery and museum hopping. Toward the end of the afternoon we wound up at the Duomo, which she very much wanted to see, and intent on further impressing her with my knowledge of renaissance art I began to describe the importance of Ghilberti's Gates Of Paradise. Suddenly she started laughing not in a way that was promising. I looked to where she was staring and realized that I had just been bombed by one of the pigeons resting atop the doors and as I looked up, caught a face full. Needless to say, the mood had, uhhh...shifted.

To paraphrase Dante, it became "Abandon all hope, ye who had hoped to enter here."

This may have been the birth of the phrase, shit happens.

My father and I got "bombed" at Disney. I exclaimed "crap", to which my father said "literally" once we determined what occurred.

Figured the bird was on the rat's payroll as another way to generate revenue since we needed a wardrobe change.

 

[mawnansmiff]

When visiting the Dutch TT races at Assen for the first time in 1987 me and my pal walked into a bar and I asked for 2 pints of schnapps. The guy looked at me funny so I repeated my request.

Long story short, for some reason I thought schnapps was a kind of beer! Seeing how red faced I was at my mistake the guy poured us both a shot of schnapps and refused payment.

I'll bet he still to this day relates the time two leather clad bikers from England made utter fools of themselves in his bar .

Regards,

Jay.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

In the mid 80's, I was visiting Mexico City, and my family went to a bullfight. A whole bunch of US sailors were there and started rooting for the bull... which caused an international incident. Apparently, rooting for the bull is the same as wishing death on someone. The crowd was not very US friendly after that fight.

As for myself making a faux pas, if I have, my actions were written off as just a "stupid American tourist" thing. I did have a hard time communicating in Paris, even after four years of French classes, ha ha. But, I am pretty sure that everyone I asked where to find a bathroom, wanted to send me down an alley to get killed... or else, everyone just pisses in the alleyways.

I am put off by a lack of public restrooms all over the world. Even in US cities, no one wants you piss in public, but then they never give you an option... unless you want to buy a drink just to piss. And, I have bought many a drink just to piss, never touching the drink. I just prefer small cities, with more piss friendly businesses, or more public restrooms.
Chicago and New York get F's for public bathrooms availability.

 

[ashdigger]

I’ve only left the US a handful of times. I blame it on my love for the desert southwest.

But I’ve been to California many times and often feel liked it’s a whole different country.

 

[mawnansmiff]

And, I have bought many a drink just to piss,

I don't know if this is still the case, but in Australia, if some stranger knocked on your door requesting to use your facilities, you were obliged to do just that and allow them in

This is why some many households had outside 'dunnies' installed.

Regards,

Jay.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I don't know if this is still the case, but in Australia, if some stranger knocked on your door requesting to use your facilities, you were obliged to do just that and allow them in

This is why some many households had outside 'dunnies' installed.

Regards,

Jay.

We used to have a law in Alabama, that every business has to have a bathroom available free to the public, but even though it is a law, it is unenforceable.

 

[warren]

Worst one I know of is driving in the left when in Ireland or the UK.

 

[mso489]

Though I took classes in school and even audited one my senior year in high school, I seem to be dyslexic in French. I could read a novel, once I'd caught up with the vocabulary, and a newspaper in French, but I could never hear the language much less speak it, though I tried.

On my sixtieth birthday, I went to Montreal for the food and atmosphere, and I enjoyed it thoroughly, Both French and English are spoken fluently by most Montreal citizens. When I would enter a store and try to greet them with my "Bonjour," they invariably switched immediately to English ... and stayed there.

In Hong Kong, I was interested to note that anyone who was seen to be American -- and I was required to wear my Navy dress uniform ashore -- was immediately presented with a bottle of catsup, no matter what they ordered, even just a coffee. The wait staff had it firmly in mind, Americans ask for catsup.

That was back in the day when Hong Kong was a British Crown Colony, before Hong Kong felt the weight of the PRC regime that now has it clamped back into rigid uniformity, one of the few times in history when a colonial occupier actually was a preferable government.

Hawkeye, that is a sweet burro. I have always been greeted most kindly by burros; they are naturally companionable and love a good visit and pats.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I could read a novel, once I'd caught up with the vocabulary, and a newspaper in French, but I could never hear the language much less speak it, though I tried.

Me too. I hated those tapes we had to listen to and translate. I have a hard time even understanding my own language if spoken with a weird dialect or accent. I have to watch shows from Britain with subtitles.

 

[Flatfish]

It is very difficult to urinate when using public toilets in Prague, when standing right next to you is a fearsome looking elderly lady armed with a toilet brush waiting for you to finish, so that she can continue cleaning.

 

[OzPiper]

Worst one I know of is driving in the left when in Ireland or the UK.

Australia, New Zealand and Japan too

 

[bullet08]

Walking around London, noticed nobody hunk the horn. Back in the hotel, complimented how polite the driver's were. Was told it's illegal to use the horn.

French bathroom? With so much culture they brag about, shittiest crap holes I have ever seen. And they ask to be paid! I just used alley way. Worse than NYC subways from 80s.

 

[timelord]

Worst one I know of is driving in the left when in Ireland or the UK.

Working in Jakarta, Indonesia I was amused by this comment in my American authored guidebook:

Remember, Jakarta is in Asia, they drive on the left, sometimes on the right, often in the middle or even on the sidewalk.

It didn't mention that traffic lights (signals for American speakers) are just for decoration and can be ignored; made crossing a 6-lane (should only have been 4 but it was wide so 2 extra lines of cars could fit in...) road intimidating at first until I saw a heavily pregnant Indonesian lady calmly and slow just walk across it. What the hell; I did the same and was very relieved to make it across safely. Following day I was joined by my boss who'd flown in from London; his face when I just stepped into the traffic was a picture!