Suckiest Christmas Ever

[carver]

Meh ...
I live in China, I am far away from my family, Christmas here is only about presents, not much reminders of the spirit, and I am not talking about religious feeling, simple decorated trees, light in the streets and not the gigantic Samsung screens.

My wife and I are have more arguments than not, we just moved from her native town, she has no friends, I have some but she isn't too keen.

We haven't said a word to each other in days.

I am a little short in cash this period so I suggested we moved it to January so as to have something nice late, and it would be better than something so-so on time, and I got complained at for not thinking about it earlier so she could have her presents.
Meh... I have to say that the desillusion hits hard.

 

[gloucesterman]

You have each other and your health. Celebrate what you have, not curse what you don't. Perhaps it's not the presents at all but rather she wasn't foremost in your mind she complains of. You can change that. If you do you'll save Christmas for both of you.

 

[warren]

It's your world, make it the best world you can. It's pretty much your choice to improve it or just settle.

 

[philobeddoe]

My wife and I have never given each other Christmas presents in over 17 years of marriage. We don't celebrate each other's Birthday or Valentines Day either. We surprise each other from time to time, but mostly, if we want something and we can afford it, we buy it, if we cannot afford it we don't or wait until we can.

 

[didimauw]

Carver, me and my wife are about ready to give up Christmas all together after this year. All everyone does is fight, and go broke...No fun.

Her brother didn't buy her mom a gift, he's making it my wife's fault. My in-laws are going broke cause they spent way too much on gifts for people. They invite everyone over, but then can't stand any one...what was the point of all this again?
Just smoke brother...smoke

 

[anarchisthermit]

@philobeddoe,
My wife before she died and I did something similar. I brought home something I knew she would like one day and she asked what the special occasion was. One the spot, I invented a new holiday. I told her it was "Happy I Love You Day."

 

[philobeddoe]

That's it exactly Anarchisthermit!

 

[hawke]

carver... Hang in there.

 

[cortezattic]

Moving and being socially isolated simply adds to the stress that naturally occurs around important holidays.

Patience, understanding, and consideration are needed. It's not easy.

 

[jvnshr]

My wife and I have never given each other Christmas presents in over 17 years of marriage. We don't celebrate each other's Birthday or Valentines Day either. We surprise each other from time to time, but mostly, if we want something and we can afford it, we buy it, if we cannot afford it we don't or wait until we can.

Totally same here. That's the best thing to do I guess. Especially on Valentines Day when everyone is crazy about buying a gift to the girlfriend or wife I just look at them and smile. We are not Christian (I mean most of the population here, actually I don't have any religion) so we don't celebrate Christmas but New Year only, however I think Christmas is all about the spiritual thing and buying presents to people is some kind of way of expressing your love. We, people, are so egocentric that we made it like a "buy me that thing for Christmas" day or "I am not telling you, but I will be waiting that from you on Christmas" day. It is all about the money these days.

@carver, just hug her and tell her how much you love her and how sorry you are for everything. Women forgive all the time.

My wife before she died and I did something similar. I brought home something I knew she would like one day and she asked what the special occasion was. One the spot, I invented a new holiday. I told her it was "Happy I Love You Day."

Damn that latakia smoke always makes my eyes water.

 

[easterntraveler]

Sorry you are down on you luck but you are together and safe, everything else is a bonus. I spent two Christmases in a desert away from my wife.

 

[crazypipe]

::

 

[jkrug]

Sounds like a challenging situation you're in. I hope it improves for you soon. ::

 

[pappymac]

We, people, are so egocentric that we made it like a "buy me that thing for Christmas" day or "I am not telling you, but I will be waiting that from you on Christmas" day. It is all about the money these days.

jvnshr, It's called crass commercialism.
The wife and I have always celebrated Christmas. We learned to put a little money back every month and to set a budget and keep within it for buying Christmas gifts for each other, the children and the grandchildren. Stressing out about a holiday doesn't do anyone any good.

 

[jvnshr]

jvnshr, It's called crass commercialism.

Totally agree.

 

[bungee]

Hang on in there Carver. This too shall pass...

 

[mvmadore]

For many people this season is horrible, no family, no money, watching everyone celebrating while you feel awful...it can be brutal.

While being healthy and having a job, house, etc. is much to be thankful for it is often hard to see when all you see is sadness...like telling a person suffering depression to "cheer up"...makes things worse not better.
Hopefully it will work out for you in a good way.
As some others have said my wife and I spend very little on each other for Christmas...generally fifty bucks...we also don't spend a lot on our kids...They grew up with it and don't expect tons and even carry on this tradition with their families...awesome...my wife and I get each other a card for valentines day and write a lot more than just our names making the card much more important...we do the same for our birthdays.
We are never in debt over gifts, never over spend and somehow our kids seem to appreciate it more. If we need and want something doing the year we do it them spreading the joy around all year rather than for just a few days.
Merry Christmas to everyone.

 

[captainprophesy]

Carver... Hope you guys get through this rough patch, it sucks now but once you get throu it you'll look back and enjoy the fact that it made you guys, as individuals as well as a couple, that much stronger.

It's hard and scary but I can't agree anymore with what Warren said... It's your world and only you can change it, make it the best you can.
Wishing you a and yours a very Merry Christmas.

 

[brudnod]

Carver, the distance and the isolation may be playing more into this than lack of holiday spirit. That part comes from within. Although my wife and I celebrate Christmas, including our 30+ year old kids (the presents are well enough appreciated no matter how inexpensive or corny) I think my wife more greatly appreciates the other times of the year when I bring home flowers or set out an evening to watch a movie together. After my wife's brush with melanoma 5 years ago (we celebrate every year that she is cancer free with great joy) our priorities have been "readjusted" to say the least.
Try to find the joy that eventually made you husband and wife and perhaps the holiday will seem more trivial and the relationship more important.
Best of luck either way! And, of course, Merry Christmas!

 

[skraps]

Carver, you will get through this. This can be a tough time of year, and distance from those you love makes it even worse. It's also a good time for you and your wife to step back and evaluate what is important. As others have said, having your health, and each other is the most important.
Remember the reason for the season. The holiday spirit comes from inside. While Christmas trees and lights and decorations add to it, there is much more than that. Those are simply physical things that represent that spirit.
Cheer up pal, it will get better. Merry Christmas!