"Does it come with a little microphone inside it?"
No, but if you twist the stem just right, it becomes a 9mm pipe. Not 9mm filter, but 9x18, if you know what I mean. :wink:
"A surprising number yearn for the "all controlling" government of the Czar or the Party. It's a wonder."
Well, that one's easy, Warren. In a system like that, you don't have to accept blame for anything. It's all the fault of the "system" or the "Party". In a system where you are free to realize your full potential, and you fall on your ass, you may forget to blame "the system" and accidentally realize you're lazy, dumb, or just plain unlucky. It can be hard for some people to accept. (And for the mods, that's a general note on the human condition, not a political statement.)
As for the pipe, I'd rank that motif right up there with SS runes or a KKK logo in the bad taste department. As a collectible, possibly acceptable, but I sure wouldn't smoke it.