Robo Calls
- Thread starter Kissel bixby
- Start date
I regularly get calls from such as 'Microsoft' or some other tech entity wanting me to install their dodgy software.
I usually have 2 responses, if I'm in the mood for a laugh I keep them talking for as long as I can asking dumb questions and as soon as they start to sound exasperated I say "but I don't really understand why you're calling me, I don't actually have a computer". They either hang up or shout abuse at me.
My other response is to keep saying "hello, is anyone there?" making out I can't hear them.
Regards,
Jay.
I usually have 2 responses, if I'm in the mood for a laugh I keep them talking for as long as I can asking dumb questions and as soon as they start to sound exasperated I say "but I don't really understand why you're calling me, I don't actually have a computer". They either hang up or shout abuse at me.
My other response is to keep saying "hello, is anyone there?" making out I can't hear them.
Regards,
Jay.
I remember a news article a while back where one of the people interviewed reported they had a call once where the robocaller spoofed THEIR phone number. I think it's pretty hard to phone yourself without two phones and two numbers at hand.
Yeah, I block them, but they just call back from a slightly different number.
One time I was talking to an Indian tech scammer and I asked him if his mother knew what he did for a living. He hung up on me.
I was having fun with one of those “get remote access to the computer” scammers from India one day, and the guy turned out to be quite the comedian. I was pretending to follow his instructions for a good while, and he got flustered to a point where he angrily asked me what was on my screen. I told him it was a picture of a puppy, and that it was my wallpaper. I asked him if he liked puppies. His irritated response, “No sir! I do not like puppies! I like pussies!” ??
IIRC the more often you answer spam calls in person the more likely that your number will be sold to another spam outfit as a "live" number. So, I never pick up calls not on my list of contacts.
While not technically a spam call, soon after we moved we got a call during dinner. This was back in the late 90's so I answered the phone. There was a lady that asked if this was such and such church. I replied, no - you have the wrong number and hang up.
The phone rings again... same lady, same question. Again, I reply you have the wrong number, this is a private residence and hang up.
The phone ring again... yep - same lady. I tell her this is the same number she has called three times in row and she has the wrong number. I repeat what my number was and she said that was what she had. I told her that obviously it's not a church but my home number.
Again, 2 seconds later the phone rings a fourth time. She asks is this such and such church...
I lose it!. "This is still my F'ing home number, this is not a MF'ing church. Look up the correct F'ing number and don't F'ing call back."
No more calls after that. I hated to do that, but she did not get it.
The phone rings again... same lady, same question. Again, I reply you have the wrong number, this is a private residence and hang up.
The phone ring again... yep - same lady. I tell her this is the same number she has called three times in row and she has the wrong number. I repeat what my number was and she said that was what she had. I told her that obviously it's not a church but my home number.
Again, 2 seconds later the phone rings a fourth time. She asks is this such and such church...
I lose it!. "This is still my F'ing home number, this is not a MF'ing church. Look up the correct F'ing number and don't F'ing call back."
No more calls after that. I hated to do that, but she did not get it.
Yes, and Jesse explained it upstream. Works a treat.
Virtually no problems now with robo calls as they go straight to VM, and usually they don't bother.
The real annoyance now is text messages- easily ignored, but takes a bit of time to wipe them all out via delete.
The real annoyance now is text messages- easily ignored, but takes a bit of time to wipe them all out via delete.
I have the ATT app that blocks everything. No time to mess with the robots.
Oh, she MFing got it after that. She's still praying for you.
Probably so... I could not think of any other way to get her to stop calling.
Oh, that's easy, if you've got the time. You could have explained that you are the new pastor, Revered Stylez, and that you were gonna be shaking things up in order to "get the MFing congregation off their dusty asses and really feel the Lord Savior Amen." You could've explained all of your plans for singles mixers, a new service at 1pm for hungover members of the flock, falsified tax documents that severely overestimate tax-free contributions, plus a little liquor-fueled strip bingo to help the church coffers because you need a new Cadillac. The possibilities are endless and look at the bright side: you could have helped some other church out by increasing their membership by one old lady as she swears off whatever church she thought you were representing.
Depending on my mood, sometimes I mess with them. One time about 8 years ago I was insulting one of them and he started giving it back to me pretty good, was actually quite funny.
One of my favorite things is to lead them on and then when they think they have a live one, and are ready to take my credit card number. I’ll start saying the numbers in a lower volume so they ask me to speak up, do it again, I want them really glued to phone with volume on max. And that’s when I blow my whistle in their ear.
One of my favorite things is to lead them on and then when they think they have a live one, and are ready to take my credit card number. I’ll start saying the numbers in a lower volume so they ask me to speak up, do it again, I want them really glued to phone with volume on max. And that’s when I blow my whistle in their ear.
I might as well share my technique (patent pending) for getting rid of the door-to-door proselytizers: answer the door buck naked when they knock. Do NOT step out of your house while doing this. We had some persistent folks for a few months many years ago that came every other Saturday, bright and early, wanting to give us a copy of Watchtower. They apparently were confused about the meaning of the "No Soliciting" sign on our door, even after we explained that, yes, they were trying to sell us something.
Well, the day in question, which still irritates my wife a little when I tell the story, featured two men in their early 20s who were honestly only trying to spread the good word. Well, I had had enough, so I disrobed and opened the storm door, leaving nothing but a screen door between their good word, and the gift that God had given me. I can still picture the look in their eyes as they changed from offense to defense. They stammered and stuttered as I told them I was about to rattle the missus, that they were not allowed to come in and watch, and to tell all of their fellow members of the flock to never, ever come back on our property.
Not only did they never return to our house, but they were never seen again on our street, either. I regaled a neighbor with what I had done and he thanked me profusely. Apparently, this particular church had been wearing people out and not taking hints for years. I solved it all in 30 seconds on a Saturday afternoon.
Well, the day in question, which still irritates my wife a little when I tell the story, featured two men in their early 20s who were honestly only trying to spread the good word. Well, I had had enough, so I disrobed and opened the storm door, leaving nothing but a screen door between their good word, and the gift that God had given me. I can still picture the look in their eyes as they changed from offense to defense. They stammered and stuttered as I told them I was about to rattle the missus, that they were not allowed to come in and watch, and to tell all of their fellow members of the flock to never, ever come back on our property.
Not only did they never return to our house, but they were never seen again on our street, either. I regaled a neighbor with what I had done and he thanked me profusely. Apparently, this particular church had been wearing people out and not taking hints for years. I solved it all in 30 seconds on a Saturday afternoon.
The ones who lead off their sales pitch with "Have you found Jay-sus?" get this response:
"Yes, but he made me promise never to tell you-lot where he is."
"Yes, but he made me promise never to tell you-lot where he is."