Robo Calls

[Kissel bixby]

If your like me you probably receive 10 robo calls a day. If u r fortunate enough to not know what they are, it is a solicitor call that usually shows up as a number similar to your own but not all. Everytime I block one, 5 others come up. I used to not answer n just block. Thinking of an old Seinfeld episode, I started to consider answering n being annoying back. Weirdly every call so far has been silent on the other end. I am excited to do things like say "do u have" and then mumble. I would repeat this over n over till they finally hung up. Then in my sick mind I would switch it up. (U have to think this through so I can post) are they interested in doing something on a glass coffee table while I am underneath. Obviously I would offer payment like a stick of gum or a used number 2 (get it) pencil. 1st other then threatening someone's safety, mainly deviant sexual nature, u think u could get in trouble? Anyone mess with them back? Open to funny weekend discussion on how to ruin their peaceful lives

 

[mso489]

I've got the timing down so that, when I detect that slight pause, when a normal caller would start talking, I just hang up. Knowing as I do that the automated call people will figure this out, I have other tricks up my sleeve. If I am self-possessed, when a spam call is a real person, I thank them for the call and hang up. Someone called and my wife answered, and someone who said they were Publishers Clearing House told her I had won. She said, no he didn't because he didn't enter. The person withered and she hung up.

 

[Chasing Embers]

My phone only accepts calls from numbers that are in my contact list.

 

[Kissel bixby]

I didn't know you could do that but I can see a scenario, like I ordered a shed, didn't put them in contact list then not receive the call

 

[mso489]

chasing's aspiring followers are foiled again.

 

[badbeard]

Every other day or so I get a call from "Vanessa" or "Jessica" who wants to warn me that my manufacturers warranty on my vehicle is about to expire. I have 3 kids and drive a beater '97 Caravan that's currently sitting at 210k miles..That ship has sailed. Even though it's a recorded voice, I sometimes like to greet them by name and talk to them just to make my wife nervous.

 

[--dante--]

I get several a day, and for months now, every single one of them starts with "we've noticed your warranty on your vehicle has expired...blah blah blah". My phone saves transcripts of the messages, I don't actually have to answer.
Funny thing is, my vehicle is a 2001 Jeep Wrangler, which is nearly old enough to drink in the US, lol

 

[Chasing Embers]

I didn't know you could do that but I can see a scenario, like I ordered a shed, didn't put them in contact list then not receive the call

Anyone I conduct business with goes on the list.

 

[3rdguy]

Had a coworker (Craig) years ago give my # to some guy selling kitchen knives. This knife salesman was all over me like a hobo on a ham sandwich. Calling every week, leaving voicemails when I wouldnt answer.

That summer I was at the county fair and I went into the building that has all the vendors selling aluminum siding, water softeners, life insurance etc. I was signing up for everything and dropping it in their “free drawing” boxes. Wife said as we left “Are you nuts? They will be calling and hounding you now”. “ “Nope.” I replied..”I used Craig’s name and #.”

 

[badbeard]

Had a coworker (Craig) years ago give my # to some guy selling kitchen knives. This knife salesman was all over me like a hobo on a ham sandwich. Calling every week, leaving voicemails when I wouldnt answer.

That summer I was at the county fair and I went into the building that has all the vendors selling aluminum siding, water softeners, life insurance etc. I was signing up for everything and dropping it in their “free drawing” boxes. Wife said as we left “Are you nuts? They will be calling and hounding you now”. “ “Nope.” I replied..”I used Craig’s name and #.”

You're a monster. I love it.

 

[FurCoat]

I can't even count how many warrents the IRS has out for my arrest or how many lawsuits the SS administration has filed against me. My car warranty is expired and some idiot keeps asking for Jona.

 

[sablebrush52]

I didn't know you could do that but I can see a scenario, like I ordered a shed, didn't put them in contact list then not receive the call

It's easy to set up on an iPhone. Go to Settings/Phone/Silence Unknown Callers. Activate silence unknown callers and they go straight to voicemail. If I'm expecting a call from IT or someone from the studio I turn off silence unknown callers til I get the call and then turn it back on again afterward. For the most part, people I want to hear from are on my contacts list. The rest can leave a message.

 

[saltedplug]

The real solution is not to get robo calls, which is impossible since the greedy bastard phone companies put the calls through despite knowing they are spam. Fucking with the caller can be fun but your time is being wasted.

After calculating that for 20 years of phone service I had paid an obscene amount of money, I simply discontinued service without having any backup service, at all. Then I heard about Google Voice, a web-based free phone. It has flaws, but it's pretty good for free. The spam people don't know the google numbers, and I haven't had a spam call in a year.

There are also products that intercept the calls but they aren't free.

 

[Servant King]

My wife answers, and uses the Mr. Burns greeting: "A-hoy-hoy!" A close second would be the Seinfeldian "Kramer, GO!" Either of these strategies are usually enough to induce an immediate hang-up, and over time, the calls have reduced noticeably.

George Carlin had some pretty good ideas in his books for keeping people on their toes. They would probably work in this situation, too. Gotta love stream of consciousness...

 

[bullet08]

Had a coworker (Craig) years ago give my # to some guy selling kitchen knives. This knife salesman was all over me like a hobo on a ham sandwich. Calling every week, leaving voicemails when I wouldnt answer.

That summer I was at the county fair and I went into the building that has all the vendors selling aluminum siding, water softeners, life insurance etc. I was signing up for everything and dropping it in their “free drawing” boxes. Wife said as we left “Are you nuts? They will be calling and hounding you now”. “ “Nope.” I replied..”I used Craig’s name and #.”

Used to give out my friends' # to army recruiters. It was fun for awhile.

 

[scloyd]

I only answer calls from people on my contact list. All others, I swipe "decline". If it's a call from someone or a business I need to talk to, they'll leave a message and I'll call them back.

 

[condorlover1]

I actually live for these type of calls since I am twisted f*ck. They usually go something like this......

'We have recently noticed your car warranty is about to expire and we are giving you a courtesy call before we close your file. Press 1 to speak to one of our warranty specialists'.

After pressing 1 you are normally greeted by a gentleman called 'Dave' who sounds like Apu the owner of the Quickie Mart from The Simpsons who inquires about the make and model and year of your car. I usually ask them if they are based in America as that takes up a few minutes. Once the formalities are out of the way the call goes like this...

Me: " Wow you are telling me I can get a new warranty for my car? That's brilliant.
Apu: " Yes Sir. What is the make and year of your car?".
Me: " I have a Ford Model T 1913. It has only 567,000 miles on the odometer and I purchased it new".
Apu: CLICK

 

[Country Bladesmith]

My favorite ones are the ones that start the call as “My name is Jerry, and I am calling from Windows. You have suspicious activity on your computer.” ?
Then they try to get you to give them remote access to your computer.

I did have one that was very peculiar, and quite ballsy:
I have internet access through AT&T, and I called their tech line to get help with internet issues one day. The outsourced AT&T tech then proceeded to “transfer” my call to one of these scammers! They had an inside guy! I figured out what was going on when he asked for remote access to my computer and was asking questions not pertinent to my internet access, but I wonder how many people got screwed because they called a legit company only to get rerouted to one of these thieves? Shady shit.

 

[pantsBoots]

Back before robocalls, I would just propose romantic liaisons with the poor soul on the other end. I would play the rich man, willing to send a jet for the telemarketer - male or female - to my "private ranch outside Des Moines." I would get pretty graphic; had one lady actually threaten to phone the police. She said she was married. I said we could tie up her husband and make him watch while I explore every square centimeter of her body.

With robocalls, I just report to donotcall.gov. I've been on that list for years and it really does reduce the calls to only one every other day or so. I reported Sirius XM on there for robocalling me a couple years ago, and got a notice about a class action lawsuit against them for robocalling. I filled out the card (it mentioned the payout being approximately $12). About a year later, I got a check from them for $40. Score! They also stopped bothering me once the lawsuit sprang up.

 

[Chasing Embers]

I actually live for these type of calls since I am twisted f*ck. They usually go something like this......

'We have recently noticed your car warranty is about to expire and we are giving you a courtesy call before we close your file. Press 1 to speak to one of our warranty specialists'.

After pressing 1 you are normally greeted by a gentleman called 'Dave' who sounds like Apu the owner of the Quickie Mart from The Simpsons who inquires about the make and model and year of your car. I usually ask them if they are based in America as that takes up a few minutes. Once the formalities are out of the way the call goes like this...

Me: " Wow you are telling me I can get a new warranty for my car? That's brilliant.
Apu: " Yes Sir. What is the make and year of your car?".
Me: " I have a Ford Model T 1913. It has only 567,000 miles on the odometer and I purchased it new".
Apu: CLICK