Punchlines

[warren]

Rainy night here. I'm bored. What follows is the punchline to one of my favorite jokes.
"Welllll, I'd pet him first him first," suggested the first drunk. "And make sure he's friendly."
Anyone else?

 

[yaddy306]

"No," said the Eskimo, wiping his mouth. "That's just ice cream."

 

[agnosticpipe]

Wrecked him! Hell it killed him!

 

[johnbarleycorn]

" if this is gonna be that kind of party, I’m gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!”

 

[philobeddoe]

Find my keys and we'll drive out!

 

[weezell]

Ain't nobody can eat that much ice cream...

 

[tbradsim1]

Friendly, Hell you need to shave his ass and make him walk backwards.

 

[Chasing Embers]

I don't care if you two are having sex, just quit using my ass as a scoreboard!

 

[newbroom]

It's the plumber.
I had one too, but the wheels feel off.
Mother! Sometimes you piss me off!
Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?
I don't care who you are, if you drop that cross one more time, you're out of the parade!
You don't think I asked for a 12 inch pianist, do you ?

 

[drennan]

No son, lets walk down and F***'em all.
It's not a lion, it's a giraffe.
and to quote a film 'He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!'

 

[pagan]

Leroy, Doc said you gona die!

 

[prairiedruid]

Hold my beer and watch this!

 

[okiebrad]

Yep and it's deep too.

 

[prndl]

"not after I get past that little part that's been used."

 

[jmatt]

Grandma is on the roof.

 

[jefff]

And Lunt!

 

[shutterbugg]

Woke up with his gun in one hand and a discharge in the other.

 

[perdurabo]

"She had a Dildo, only thing her teeth were chipped."

 

[weezell]

Hell I don't worry about that! This is a small town...

 

[perdurabo]

Jesus never could eat those M&M's