Proof at Last --- Santa Smokes an ENGLISH-shape Pipe

[georged]

I always doubted that anyone riding a sleigh through snowstorms while rasslin' a bunch of reindeer would try to smoke one of those Oom Paul or other deep-bendy long shapes... like srsly?!

And sure enough, he doesn't. (Apparently story tellers and book illustrators just wanted to fancy things up a bit.)

What does he smoke? Like any hardcore workingman he smokes a straight pipe. A bulldog, in fact.

Proof:

 

[ziv]

Is this Santa though? Looks like Ded Moroz to me (Santa wears red, Ded Moroz wears blue).

 

[georged]

Is this Santa though? Looks like Ded Moroz to me (Santa wears red, Ded Moroz wears blue).

Bag-O-Toys + white beard + snow = Santa

Everyone knows that

The red "uniform" was/is the same sort of PR silliness as a deep-bendy long pipe. Anything uniform in color would get all poop-spattered by the reindeer. And the wind would just pull off a floppy hat. Patterned fabrics and a tough, helmet-like fur hat are the only kind that make sense given the field requirements of the job.

 

[greeneyes]

Isn't that a Cossack?

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Coca Cola was the reason we assume he wears those fancy red and white getups.

The bulldog shape confirms my belief that this is the true Santa.

 

[georged]

Isn't that a Cossack?

No chance.

How could he find the time to deliver all those toys AND make movies?

 

[Kobold]

Man Santa looks so pissed.

 

[ziv]

Not to ruin y'alls night, but this is a pre-communist Russian postcard

File:Дед Мороз С-Рождеством.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

commons.wikimedia.org

 

[georged]

Not to ruin y'alls night, but this is a pre-communist Russian postcard

File:Дед Мороз С-Рождеством.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

commons.wikimedia.org

Nice try, AI-image-enhancer/modifier guy...

I bet you run a business that sells red suits with white fur trim, bent pipes, and floppy red hats, don't you?

 

[ziv]

Nice try, AI-image-enhancer/modifier guy...

I bet you run a business that sells red suits with white fur trim, bent pipes, and floppy red hats, don't you?

Dammit, you got me! They sell like hot cakes (well... cold lemonade) here in South Florida.

 

[TheIronMonkey]

You’re all wrong. That’s @warren

 

[Servant King]

You’re all wrong. That’s @warren

That would explain why I'm inexplicably on the naughty list every single X-mas...

 

[lraisch]

Not a bulldog, I think that's a pear shape.

 

[didimauw]

I'm more worried about the "pocketbomb" part.

 

[The Libertine]

Are you sure it's a bulldog and not a Rhodesian?