I am 18 and have smoked since i was 16. i have always used my own money to buy smokes and now pipes and tobacco. I do not smoke in the house except for once at night in my room with windows open and incense burning. I do not like "hiding" this from my parents because they have asked me numerous times if i do as a joke and seriously. i fear their reaction because i live with them to cut down college costs and i dont want to insult their intelligence by "lying" anymore. should i leave well enough alone or tell them?
Pipes and Parents
- Thread starter corrine
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Tell them. You may not be able to smoke at home, it's their house, their rules.
But at 18 you should be able to do as you please as long as it's legal away from home. Maybe you could just go outside or to the garage for your smoke. Many of us do that. Tell them you took up the pipe as and enjoyable and relaxing hobby. You could also advise them that pipe smoking is not as dangerous for your health as cigarettes since you don't inhale. They will appreciate your honesty.
But at 18 you should be able to do as you please as long as it's legal away from home. Maybe you could just go outside or to the garage for your smoke. Many of us do that. Tell them you took up the pipe as and enjoyable and relaxing hobby. You could also advise them that pipe smoking is not as dangerous for your health as cigarettes since you don't inhale. They will appreciate your honesty.
I recently had a similar experience. I am 24 but live at home during the summer as I am in law school. I try not to smoke too often when my parents are home and only outside. While my parents do not love that I smoke a pipe they are ok with it. I did not hide it from them and was very up front about it without throwing it in their face. In many ways my new hobby is acceptable when I compare it to other people smoking cigars, with which my parents are more comfortable. The most common response is *insert ancestors name here* smoked a pipe. It has also been a fun hobby to refurbish my grandfather's old pipes with my uncle who saved them. I say honesty and comfort with our wonderful hobby is the key. Pipes are not cigarettes and are not weed.
I started with cigars about that age, they knew and it wasn't something they were happy about. But they got over it and moved on. Never really gave me much crap about it. Just that they would rather I didn't do it. I resoect their right to their opinion. But it's obvious from my stash and humidor now that I still do what I enjoy. Never bothered to hide it from them, but I didn't so it to defy them either, I simply enjoyed it.
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I would tell them unless you thought that they would kick you out of the house and cause your college costs to increase. It is expensive as it is! They'll probably be happy to find out that you are only smoking tobacco.
As others have said, it is their house so you must follow whatever rules they set for you. If they smoke in the basement, maybe you can turn them onto pipes!
As others have said, it is their house so you must follow whatever rules they set for you. If they smoke in the basement, maybe you can turn them onto pipes!
I think dlattim has some pretty sage advice for you here.
I started off smoking cigars when I was 19 and was afraid to tell my parents but one day my old man caught me outside smoking a cigar. My old man had always been a hardass and when he found me I said, "Shit, guess Im busted huh?" The only thing he told me was "Youre an adult and can make your own decisions, but just know that once you start doing that its impossible to stop." Little does he know I quit smoking everything entirely for 4 years, then went to the pipe three years ago and routinely go 2-3 days a week without smoking anything at all. I say go with dlattims advice and hope for the best.
I started off smoking cigars when I was 19 and was afraid to tell my parents but one day my old man caught me outside smoking a cigar. My old man had always been a hardass and when he found me I said, "Shit, guess Im busted huh?" The only thing he told me was "Youre an adult and can make your own decisions, but just know that once you start doing that its impossible to stop." Little does he know I quit smoking everything entirely for 4 years, then went to the pipe three years ago and routinely go 2-3 days a week without smoking anything at all. I say go with dlattims advice and hope for the best.
Even though I can't predict how they will react, I would say that honesty is a good thing.
For me lying would be much worse that what I perceived as a bad habit.
If they make rules about smoking in the house, please respect them.
Your only choice is to start the honesty now and man up to the consequences. Continued dishonesty can only make it worse. I've been there. The only thing worse than being dishonest is trying to continue it. I'm 56 now and I can tell you the best lesson my parents taught me is there are consequences to my actions and I must accept those consequences or it gets worse and worse. I think they might get a little mad, but in the end, down the road, they will appreciate your honesty. They might even go straight to appreciation knowing how hard it was for you to man up to the truth.
Ciderguy and dattim I really like your advice and I will tell them. Im set on that. Just knowing when and how are my problems. Do I want to just go in the basement and say " I have something to tell you and I want you not to get mad. I smoke tobacco in a pipe and I do it to relax and reflect. I have only ever used my money for this. I have not done it in the house but would like your permission to smoke down here in the basement or in the garage. If not i will respect that and do it away from home as I have been and will make an effort not to smell like it around the house or our family." Does that seem like a good explanation?
Now I just need to find a good time. My dad works construction in this Indiana humidity all day and my mom works pretty late at our local surgery center. Would it be better to tell them an hour or two after they get home from work or late morning on a weekend?
I'd like to get it over with today but my dad has worked all day and is in a mood
I'd like to get it over with today but my dad has worked all day and is in a mood
Your parents will always be that "Your Parents". No matter what you do they will always want the best for you. You both will not always agree but in the end it is your life and live it the way that makes you happy. However part of being a successful adult is having some integrity and accepting both good and bad consequences. I would go with tell them. If they have asked you several times in the past chances are they already know but are having problems adjusting.
I have always told my kids since they were little that they would get in more trouble for lying, than telling the truth. Once my kids turn 18, I treat them as adults and they make their own decisions. It is their life and they will live with the consequences of their actions. I also have a strict rule to never be a hypocrite. I smoke so I have no business telling my kids they can't.
I also forgot to mention that my parents smoke in the basement. How do I start the conversation though?
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After joining them, make it a "family" time. Visit with them, ask their advice about stuff, tell them about your classes, and your concerns. They'll be happy with the communication, if not the smoking. Who knows, you might be able to convert at least dad, if not mom.
Honesty is always best.
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After joining them, make it a "family" time. Visit with them, ask their advice about stuff, tell them about your classes, and your concerns. They'll be happy with the communication, if not the smoking. Who knows, you might be able to convert at least dad, if not mom.
Honesty is always best.
Just tell em. If they ask why you lied say you were embarrassed at first but now want to come clean with it. Smoke outside. Its a better view and nature is good for you.
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