Pipe Smoking, Relationships, and Compromise

[lukasstrifeson]

Really appreciated the responses on this thread, definitely gave me some things to think about.

After marinating on the wisdom given, I guess it all comes down to communication and some degree of give 'n take.

I think for me that means I'm happy to make some compromises for her knowing that she is willing and happy to do the same.

In reality, I have a much larger cellar than I can ever smoke (I mean who here doesn't right?) but a part of the hobby is in collecting and trading! I've really enjoyed discussing tobaccos with the folks here and tracking blends down etc etc. That'll probably continue for me too.

LOL a lot of rambling on a Monday morning, but that happens when you're smoking a bowl of Shortcut to Mushrooms with your morning coffee

Burning it in this Altinok meer calabash:

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

The answer aint that pretty, IMO.

Either women go along with you and follow you, or they don't... If they don't that's your fault.

Even if it's something you can't control it's still on you.

You can't force them to behave a certain way or be agreeable. Trying to do that would only make it worse.

If they admire you though, you'll have what you want from 'em. To get that you have to try to be a good man.

Birth control pills, normalization of divorce, modern feminism in general... have pitted the sexes against each other.

Personally, I never changed a thing about me when dating. For example, I smoked in the car on every first date.

If there was something they didn't like about me it was for the best if they went on their way.

 

[InWithBothFeet]

A good man will admire them from a safe distance. They're like unstable explosives.. handle with care if you must, but they're liable to wreck your life without warning.

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

A good man will admire them from a safe distance. They're like unstable explosives.. handle with care if you must, but they're liable to wreck your life without warning.

True dat.

I've had a couple blow up in my hands, in the past. Haha

 

[woodsroad]

The answer aint that pretty, IMO.

Either women go along with you and follow you, or they don't... If they don't that's your fault.

Even if it's something you can't control it's still on you.

You can't force them to behave a certain way or be agreeable. Trying to do that would only make it worse.

If they admire you though, you'll have what you want from 'em. To get that you have to try to be a good man.

Birth control pills, normalization of divorce, modern feminism in general... have pitted the sexes against each other.

Personally, I never changed a thing about me when dating. For example, I smoked in the car on every first date.

If there was something they didn't like about me it was for the best if they went on their way.

This reads like every reason women have to stay single. I seriously pity the doormat that tolerates this kind of attitude.

 

[InWithBothFeet]

I'd love to have a doormat that will tolerate all my inadequacies.. and one that I can put back on the charging stand when the dishes are done.

 

[woodsroad]

I'd love to have a doormat that will tolerate all my inadequacies.. and one that I can put back on the charging stand when the dishes are done.

Paper plates and an Orgasmatron are what you're after.

 

[InWithBothFeet]

Nah, paper plates, a cook and a laundry service. I'm too old for that telephone booth thing. Lemme win the lottery. I dare ya. LOL

 

[woodsroad]

Nah, paper plates, a cook and a laundry service. I'm too old for that telephone booth thing. Lemme win the lottery. I dare ya. LOL

No, I choose lottery winners by how much good tobacco they send me.
Y'all are going to have to try a whole lot harder.

 

[Brad H]

No, I choose lottery winners by how much good tobacco they send me.
Y'all are going to have to try a whole lot harder.

 

[krizzose]

A small room with negative pressure will work. Close the door and any HVAC vents, and put a window fan in blowing out a window. That setup worked just fine in my previous home. In my current home I have a whole house fan in the ceiling of my office and I close the vents and open the window.

 

[fr0st]

It’s funny, over the years I’ve seen similar threads on forums for video games, brewing beer, drinking, and what-have-you.

It seems like a lot of problems come from things that suck up all our time, and are seen by a significant other as driving a wedge between you, or a choice of something else over spending time together.

I have smoked a pipe off and on for the 15 years I’ve been married. My wife has never told me not to smoke in the house, but I personally don’t like the smell of stale smoke. I smoke on the porch, or in my basement woodshop- but there I stick to pleasant smelling blends, which we both appreciate. I also do what I can to minimize smell- like not storing my pipes in the rest of the house, washing my hands after I smoke, washing my face and beard before bed. Basically just trying to be considerate.

So far so good, but I’m lucky that my wife likes the smell of a pipe (in moderation). Her dad smoked a pipe most of his life, so she’s used to it.

Talk to your gal, tell her what you enjoy about smoking a pipe. Tell her what you like about her. I’d guess that like most of the people in this thread you’ll find a way to make it work. Best of luck, and congratulations!

 

[lukasstrifeson]

It’s funny, over the years I’ve seen similar threads on forums for video games, brewing beer, drinking, and what-have-you.

It seems like a lot of problems come from things that suck up all our time, and are seen by a significant other as driving a wedge between you, or a choice of something else over spending time together.

I have smoked a pipe off and on for the 15 years I’ve been married. My wife has never told me not to smoke in the house, but I personally don’t like the smell of stale smoke. I smoke on the porch, or in my basement woodshop- but there I stick to pleasant smelling blends, which we both appreciate. I also do what I can to minimize smell- like not storing my pipes in the rest of the house, washing my hands after I smoke, washing my face and beard before bed. Basically just trying to be considerate.

So far so good, but I’m lucky that my wife likes the smell of a pipe (in moderation). Her dad smoked a pipe most of his life, so she’s used to it.

Talk to your gal, tell her what you enjoy about smoking a pipe. Tell her what you like about her. I’d guess that like most of the people in this thread you’ll find a way to make it work. Best of luck, and congratulations!

Communication is definitely key. There's been some suggestions of "my way or the highway" and that's a very romantic 1950s slap your woman around a little bit until they fall in line kind of thinking, but I like my girl and respect her intellect, I also trust that she is asking for changes that will benefit my growth into a better more rounded individual.

I think it's a reasonable compromise to cut back on my hobbies to make room for a relationship/possibly raising a family in the future. Turns out doing the right thing is more often than not making the difficult decisions.

Alas no matter how much we want to, you can't stay 23 forever.

 

[stoopidbaits]

Communication is definitely key. There's been some suggestions of "my way or the highway" and that's a very romantic 1950s slap your woman around a little bit until they fall in line kind of thinking, but I like my girl and respect her intellect, I also trust that she is asking for changes that will benefit my growth into a better more rounded individual.

I think it's a reasonable compromise to cut back on my hobbies to make room for a relationship/possibly raising a family in the future. Turns out doing the right thing is more often than not making the difficult decisions.

Alas no matter how much we want to, you can't stay 23 forever.

Those "my way or the highway" guys are the ones whose wife's leave them for a guy they found on Facebook.

They end up living out the last of their days in trailers, alone with their alzheimers, crying about the fact that no one likes them and today's world is against them.

I'm currently watching that exact situation unfold and it's sad to see, but some guys are too dumb to grasp just how dumb they are.

 

[lukasstrifeson]

Those "my way or the highway" guys are the ones whose wife's leave them for a guy they found on Facebook.

They end up living out the last of their days in trailers, alone with their alzheimers, crying about the fact that no one likes them and today's world is against them.

I'm currently watching that exact situation unfold and it's sad to see, but some guys are too dumb to grasp just how dumb they are.

That's a questions I ask myself a lot: boy, how dumb are we?

 

[stoopidbaits]

That's a questions I ask myself a lot: boy, how dumb are we?

I'm not dumb!

I'm Stoopid...

 

[RL Bucktails]

You may have to compromise some, ie smoke outside of the dwelling. If a woman tries to get you stop doing the things you love to do, she is not the right one for you, this much I know.

 

[MartyA]

You may have to compromise some, ie smoke outside of the dwelling. If a woman tries to get you stop doing the things you love to do, she is not the right one for you, this much I know.

True. Marriage, and life, are full of compromises.

 

[MartyA]

I first answered this thing in January, and I've had time to think about it.

I like my pipes, and look forward to an outdoor smoke with a dusty old book most every afternoon. I do it because it's an enjoyable, relaxing, escape into the past. HOWEVER, if my wife uttered a harsh word, I'd simply quit. Yes, I can stand my ground, I can be stubborn, and I can argue back, but how relaxing would my pipe be with that in the background?

 

[lraisch]

A small room with negative pressure will work. Close the door and any HVAC vents, and put a window fan in blowing out a window. That setup worked just fine in my previous home. In my current home I have a whole house fan in the ceiling of my office and I close the vents and open the window.

When I first read this, I didn't know if it referred to your smoking room or a precaution against those "unstable explosives".