Pipe Smoking Makes You Smarter

[admin]

An oldie, but goodie! IT'S A PARODY GUYS!
If you click through and read the whole thing, it might become more clear that I wrote this as a parody to make fun of the real news at the end of it ... which is all BS as well in my opinion.

 

[deathmetal]

I pretty much just verified that with looking for the supposed "study." I found a lot of interesting stuff. What fooled me was the bit about "part" of the above being nonsense, but the rest being true.

 

[mso489]

Parody, yes, but the idea is so beguiling, how could we not take it seriously?

 

[deathmetal]

See, it's making us smarter already...

 

[admin]

"Pipe smoking is safe for adults and children of all ages. It does not cause cancer or have any negative health effects. As a matter of fact, men who smoke pipes live 33.7% longer than those who don’t. Women who smoke pipes are 27% thinner, better looking and have bigger boobs than those who don’t."

 

[jmill208]

The 1Q has increased, the IQ, not so much.

 

[deathmetal]

Actually, only part of the above is true. The part that is true is that pipe smokers have long known about the health benefits of pipe smoking. Some of the best thinkers and geniuses of all time, like Albert Einstein and Mark Twain were pipe smokers. Pipe smoking does in fact relax you.

This is where the piece directly signals that it is not satire. I think that's the root of the problem here. What I did was look for the original study as a means of figuring out if it was satire or not, and not finding it, assumed it was a non-serious article.
The discussion about IQ is related, but not unimportant. Discerning satire is hard on the internet because so much is "over-written" at this point, so it's wise not to break the fourth wall and address the audience's concerns that it might be satire by claiming that parts of it are true.

Here's the latest example of how people do not click-through and actually read an article, but feel free to comment on it anyway. 5-years ago I wrote a short (five paragraphs) PARODY news story to make fun of a real news story that I thought was total BS. It got resurrected in my forums and people are taking it seriously and having serious discussion on it. If you actually READ THE WHOLE THING, it is obvious that it is satire.
https://www.facebook.com/PipesMagazine/posts/1199626146720776

Regardless, I think MSO489 is right: this is a beguiling topic and an important one.
In fact, I think it's two topics:
(1) The cognitive benefits of nicotine.
(2) Why it is that (some) smarter people seem to smoke pipes.

 

[jmill208]

This is where the piece directly signals that it is not satire.

Ummmm, this is where it signals that it is-

(pssst., this is the guy who wrote it.)

An oldie, but goodie! IT'S A PARODY GUYS!
If you click through and read the whole thing, it might become more clear that I wrote this as a parody to make fun of the real news at the end of it ... which is all BS as well in my opinion.

:wink:

 

[warren]

Kevin: You got people thinking and researching. Well done! Well done indeed! I am happy to see the post bumped.

 

[deathmetal]

Ummmm, this is where it signals that it is-

Yes, in the forum post. Astute.

 

[jvnshr]

Pipe smoking just relaxes you, a relaxed man is a smart man, end of story

 

[warren]

A relaxed man is vulnerable, open to attack. A man alert and a wee bit paranoid is a smart man. ::

 

[iamn8]

If smoking a pipe makes you smarter, smoking ten pipes must make you 10x as smart. I'm all over this cuz iz wants 2 bee smartur

 

[warren]

Must one smoke an early morning pipe to be smart early in the day? Is it cumulative over time? Is the last pipe of the day, before retiring, a waste? Or are your dreams smarter?
Lotta questions being raised.
Is it the pipe or the blend? Do certain blends work better? Do the smartest people smoke very old Barlings or Dunhills?

 

[shikano53]

A relaxed man is vulnerable, open to attack. A man alert and a wee bit paranoid is a smart man.

+1 on what Warren said.

 

[hooboy]

Igloo wrote.. Now if could jus tech me hoow to spelll words and write goode english.
I found appropriate and very articulate and to add to the comment in

Which, as a member in good standing of the bad speller Club I will share our motto it be.....

" Bad Speller Untie"

hoo

 

[jpmcwjr]

Must one smoke an early morning pipe to be smart early in the day? Is it cumulative over time? Is the last pipe of the day, before retiring, a waste? Or are your dreams smarter?

Possibly a bell shaped curve, which at the end goes into negative territory after x number of bowls. (MV)

Is it the pipe or the blend? Do certain blends work better? Do the smartest people smoke very old Barlings or Dunhills?

Yes, it has to be an intelligent blend, which ones can be debated endlessly. And the smartest will smoke the rare ones, the $$$$ ones, but not exclusively! All in good fun, I hope!

 

[shawnofthedead]

Like one wise man once said, with a pipe in your hand, people will believe everything you say.

 

[okiescout]

My brother ( a reformed cig smoker) told me one afternoon that pipe smokers tended to be more collegiate people, and since my brother is the smartest guy in the world, I guess that this proves he was right. :wink:

 

[andrew]

I think a big part of it is being able to think before you speak by puffing on your pipe, making the person think you're smoking your pipe, while you're actually buying time to make a good answer. Indubitably.