Pipe Smoking Insults - Post Them Here

[Searock Fan]

Kind of hard to come up with a good insult for a pipe smoker, isn't it?

 

[anotherbob]

Kind of hard to come up with a good insult for a pipe smoker, isn't it?

call them a cigar smoke, tell them the pipe is a cute cigarette. It's easy really.

 

[ThermionicScott]

I don't have much to offer, but someone usually calls me "Grandpa" when I pull out a pipe.

 

[jbfrady]

May all your new pipe purchases arrive ghosted with Captain Black Grape

 

[AroEnglish]

You look like an Danish freehand carved by a blind man.

 

[Cracklin' Tobaccy]

I consider "piper" an epithet when used to denote a pipe smoker.

Yes !!! All noobs trade in your bagpipes for briars.

 

[didimauw]

How did @cosmicfolklore put it? Something about "Carter Hall in a cob smoking homeless looking something er other"

 

[litup]

Your mom is so ugly that the closest she could ever get to experiencing Afternoon Delight would be if she bought a tin of it.

 

[kcghost]

Cob smokers are looking for a reason to live. There isn't any.

 

[warren]

Yes !!! All noobs trade in your bagpipes for briars.

I consider the improper use of the term denigrating to those who have invested hours, nay years, in learning to play pipes, Irish, Scots and so forth. It demeans the talent and time.

 

[Douglas]

Is that a churchwarden nosewarmer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Way too funny!

 

[Douglas]

More of a nightmare really: “Honey, I wanted to do something nice for you so I washed all your pipes. In the dishwasher!”

 

[jpmcwjr]

More of a nightmare really: “Honey, I wanted to do something nice for you so I washed all your pipes. In the dishwasher!”

Not recommended! But aside from work needed rewaxing and buffing, no harm, [unless the heat cycle was very hot.]

I've run three pipes through my dishwasher- for science!- and no damage. I took out before the dry cycle.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

How did @cosmicfolklore put it? Something about "Carter Hall in a cob smoking homeless looking something er other"

 

[Douglas]

Not recommended! But aside from work needed rewaxing and buffing, no harm, [unless the heat cycle was very hot.]

I've run three pipes through my dishwasher- for science!- and no damage. I took out before the dry cycle.

I guess I could have gone with “Honey, I organized your tobacco room. I combined all those little jars into one big Tuppware bin. Don’t worry, I made sure to mix them real good.”

 

[Sig]

Im not easily insulted, but.
After a 7 year break from pipe smoking, one of my first missions was to browse ebay for pipes.
When I typed "smoking pipes" into the the search bar and found page after page of glass weed pipes........I was ALMOST insulted!

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Hard to insult pipesmokers? Wait, so why does everyone get their panties in wad when I make a post? Ha ha.

Challenge accepted…

Whatever the hell that is your smoking smells like a dumpster outside a nursery caught on fire.

Crap, I was going to ask for a manly opinion, but as I got closer I realized you were smoking an aromatic.

Hey cobsmoker, here’s some extra cardboard to help with your home repairs.

Pipebag? Hell, I thought you were carrying a purse.

Hey droopy bent pipe smoker, you should try viagra.

Peterson all suck! Ha ha… triggered yet?

I’ll try it again… I like Sutliff, yeh, I think it’s very inclusive that we have a tobacco company that makes products for women.

Wanna trigger half the forum, make a post that you just placed an order from Pipes and Cigars.

So you want to fit a smoke into your 10 minute break at work? Try cigarettes.

Ok ok ok… before you pound that keyboard like the internet warrior you see yourself as, they were jokes. Let your wave neurotic/autistic over explaining pass, and just laugh you briar sucking ape. Ha ha.

 

[condorlover1]

I've let rip better room notes than that!

 

[Non-Mentholated Black Man]

I knew that you were a pipe smoker at first glance.


A skin-pipe.

 

[VDL_Piper]

I don't have much to offer, but someone usually calls me "Grandpa" when I pull out a pipe.

Sgt Major Plumley had the response to this though............"any you sumbitches call me Grandpa...........I'll kill you"