Pipe Smoking Do's And Don'ts

[mortonbriar]

I often have little situations or thoughts pop into my head to do with the pipe, but they can be kind of insignificant on their own, hence this thread where they can band together! share your DOs and DONTs!
Don't assume every little scrap of popcorn you have dropped beside you on the couch is a scrap of popcorn, it may turn out to be a little flake of latakia (it was disgusting).
Do try smoking outside in your hammock and exhaling slowly so the swinging of the hammock brings you back through the cloud of smoke for a second hit.

 

[tarak]

Don't spend an entire night smoking Sir Walter Raleigh and drinking bourbon. You will feel horrid the next day.

 

[jkrug]

Do sit in the back yard on a warm summers eve next the pond listening to the soothing burble of the waterfall while enjoying a good pipe and glass of good whiskey and enjoying the company of my lovely wife! ::

 

[settersbrace]

Don't sneeze with your pipe clenched while standing in front of a urinal.

 

[aldecaker]

jkrug-

Piping with your lovely wife would probably cause my lovely wife to cut my pipe smoking career short...very short!

 

[escioe]

When you're walking past a group of people in the park, do take the pipe out of your mouth and generally take care not to force people to walk through your smoke at close quarters.
Don't buy into every pipe smoking trend on the internet, including but not limited to: the Frank technique, the delayed gratification technique, Esoterica generally, certain highly constrained lists of flake tobacco, buying more tobacco than you could ever reasonably smoke in your projected lifetime, boring 5mm holes in a pipe before you smoke it, etc, etc, etc.
Do try things out for yourself and find what works for you.
Don't make a thread asking whether or not you should buy a blend, then another thread saying you bought it, then a third posting your initial thoughts about it. Keep it in one thread.

 

[natibo]

Do smoke an aromatic if you are flatulent.

 

[freakiefrog]

Don't fall asleep reading The Hobbit while smoking a Churchwarden in your recliner.

 

[mortonbriar]

Point noted about the sneeze/clench/urinal advice!
Dont try and blow out the live match you just dropped into your ash tray, atop a mountain of loose ash...

 

[drwatson]

Do NOT make fun of your wife while she is moody and having her monthly friend! You may end up with a red and white rat looking thing in your favorite pipe!
(Yes she did) but (yes I deserved it)

 

[jkrug]

:rofl: @ aldecaker....I can see how that may be an issue!

 

[johnnyreb]

"Do smoke an aromatic if you are flatulent."
Bo, why am I getting the sense that you would recommend one of the Middle Earth blends?

 

[tanless1]

Do not drop your pipe in the septic tank.

 

[jazz]

Dont try and blow out the live match you just dropped into your ash tray, atop a mountain of loose ash...

Been there and done that and felt like an utter fool as the good lady at the time laughed at me. Quite rightly too.
Do not put your pipe in your back pocket after a few ales in the pub and walk home. You will have forgotten by the time you park you arse on the sofa.
Do smoke your pipe anywhere you damn well pleasey.

 

[cajunplume]

Everything. escioe. Said.

 

[portascat]

Do enjoy it and act like you enjoy it, instead of trying to make some sort of weird statement about it.
Do not be afraid to let your lady friend(s) smoke, and even smoke what you might think are manly blends.
Do NOT let your same lady friend(s) have free access to your stash. They need their own, eventually.
Don't make bad assumptions based upon interweb lore. Such as deciding that a $5 eBay Yello-bole Spartan (briar) isn't going to be a good smoker, and therefore deriding it. You may very well be wrong. It is a great smoker.

 

[raevans]

Don't smoke while you are mad, it won't calm you down and will probably end up leaving you more upset after you char your bowl from locomotive puffing.
Don't let your zeal for getting that next "trophy" pipe get in the way of you enjoying the smoking experience.
Do make sure that you have a good supply of pipe cleaners.

 

[escioe]

Don't spend money you don't have on stuff you don't need. I understand that sometimes a pipe might just be a little out of your budget and you really, really want it, but that's how the crash of 2008 happened, too. It's not worth going into any kind of debt for your thirteenth pipe, or for your third bag of Stonehaven.
Do age your tobaccos, but also do smoke them. The difference between 4 years and 5 years is tiny. The difference between 8 and 10 is even tinier. Don't wait for a special event: opening a ten year old tin is its own special event, and chances are, you've earned it.
Do follow posthumanpiper on youtube, and do read posts from alt.smokers.pipes circa 1996-2001, and do pay attention to posts from folks like rmbittner, sagebrush, and cosmicfolklore. Don't pay too much attention to the dogmatists on various forums who'll tell you that any pipe with a

 

[mortonbriar]

Don't put your clay in back pocket and then bend over to pick something up...

 

[settersbrace]

drwatson, I'd love to meet your wife because her sense of humor is priceless! And you probably did deserve it since we all know as husbands that everything and I mean everything is our fault. Lol.