I'll echo what many have said that it sounds like your struggling with depression.
C.S. Lewis once wrote about "first things" and " second things" to describe our plight as fallen people.
He said that we try to elevate "second things" up to "first things "and there is our struggle. We attempt to have something fill a void that it was never meant to. Lewis said that only the "first thing" can do what a "first thing" is intended to.
He also said that if we attempt to have "second things" as "first things", we end up losing all things. But, if we have the "first thing" in its proper place, then we can rightly enjoy the "second things".
The "First Thing" is receiving Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.
All other good things, the good gifts provided by God, are "second things" that can then be enjoyed instead of turned into idols.
Praying for you friend. There are many suggestions, but there is only one answer.