OK, so I've thrown caution (and credit cards) to the wind and ordered supplies for a dozen retorts. Prices have gone up considerably on laboratory glassware, WTF!
I'll post a picture when they're assembled; they'll look quite a bit nicer than the pic above. They will consist of the glass retort bulb, a length of surgical tubing, test tube clamp and an alcohol burner (trust me, you really don't want to do this over the stove, and candles are sooty and a crappy flame temperature), all for $30. This covers my materials plus about 3$ to ship it. If you live in the States, that is. I'll have some time this weekend to make them and box them up, and can mail them on monday. Shoot me a PM and we can sort details.