Penzance Group Buy Interest Thread

[deathmetal]

We all know how hard it is to get Esoterica "Penzance" here. I contacted an employee of the J.F. German factory on Jersey Island in the English channel and he explained to me how we can order as much as we want directly from them.
First, because the Jersey Island is not officially incorporated under English law, we cannot use any known currency but must use barter. Luckily, this employee pointed me toward Jacques, a Frenchman living in a converted cabana on the North side of the Island. Jacques specializes in making the Jersey Island delicacy "Ticketyboo Veal," which is not veal but goat. For $90, Jacques can purchase a homosexual goat from France and turn it into veal that he can trade for three bags of "Penzance." So we buy him goats, and he buys us tobacco. Then we pay shipping to the government of France.
I'm thinking of a starting order of 30 goats.

 

[iamn8]

It's my understanding that he only accepts only kids, baby goats. Have you checked with American customs? Shipping baby goats can get quite complicated.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Wait, does he only deal in homosexual goats? And, if so how can we tell?

 

[iamn8]

Homosexual goats tend to be quite flamboyant.

 

[cossackjack]

What about Stonehaven? Would it also be traded for goats, or perhaps sheep, swine, or cows? (I think that you could negotiate for 4 - 5 bags for each cow or hog)

This is very Byzantine.

It just might work.

 

[captainprophesy]

Wait, does he only deal in homosexual goats? And, if so how can we tell?

 

[samcoffeeman]

Shouldn't that be fah-ah-ah-bulouths?

 

[iamn8]

http://youtu.be/fn-bDFhNRkU

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Ha, I guess Alabama goats are all still in the closet. Although I do have one nanny that tends like tatoos and eating car parts.

 

[mcitinner1]

I wish a couple of past members could see this thread....laughing. :roll:

 

[captpat]

:nana:Seems like we need a Nigerian prince with a million dollars to giveaway to make this deal complete

 

[woodsroad]

I don't see the deal here. My goats give me far more pleasure than a bag of Penzance does.

 

[deathmetal]

My sheep certainly do... but I think I mean in a different way.

 

[jpmcwjr]

I'm in for 30 more goats.

 

[vespertillio]

Wait....What do we have to do with the goats?...

 

[cossackjack]

@captainprophesy: great meme. Looks like he's ready for Project Runway (or the Telluride AIDS Benefit Fashion Show)
Also, if they are not looking "fah-ah-ah-bulouths" or marvelous, you can tell by their prancing.

 

[jpmcwjr]

I think we send the goats to the Isle of Jersey, where they are transformed into veal cutlets.... And the Mixture 79 gets transformed into Penzance. Then there's a trade.

 

[hooboy]

Lets see If I got this, he takes goats and turns them into Penzance?

Who da thunk it .

I just quit penzance!

hoo

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Dang Woods, you have goats too. We may have been separated at birth, haha.

I'm trying to figure out how I would mail a goat. Maybe UPS?

 

[deathmetal]

Money -> Goats -> France -> Mixture 79 -> Nate -> ??? -> Penzance!