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georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
5,491
13,920
Since self-identifying as a world-champion-caliber 18 year old tennis player (it happened last week), I realized that vast fame and fortune await me.

Cereal box contracts, TV specials, and feature-length movies are all in play, here.

Given that, what's the best way to handle checks for fifty million dollars or more when they're handed to you in a lump sum? (Talking about taxes and so forth.)

I need to know as soon as possible because I expect the big name talent and sports agent guys, book publisher reps, etc---guys who move REALLY fast---to knock on my door at any minute, and I don't want to be stuck with fifty million dollars all at once if it's better to spread it over a week or two.

Thanks!
 

georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
5,491
13,920
I have a good friend who’s a Zimbabwean Prince, he can double your initial investment, all he needs is a little good faith money! I can be the intermediary. Just make the checks out to me and I’ll see that he gets em.

Now THAT'S the kind of help and support I knew I could count on around here.

Definitely a go, rp. And because it's the right thing to do I want you to keep 15% for yourself as a commission.
 

georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
5,491
13,920
Take it all in cash and put it in a nice pile...then douse it with gasoline and set it ablaze, letting your enemies know to NEVER f**k with you.

I definitely like the idea... what's the best way to have a cash bonfire and be sure the right people are watching, though? (I know I'm now 18 years old again, but it'll take a bit for me to get up to speed on socialist media apps and such)
 

georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
5,491
13,920
My humble, and frank advice is to simply identify as a "person that does not pay tax". No one can question that. It's what I did, and that worked fine.

You guys are GOOD!

I just realized if I self-identify as something unusual enough, that people will want to $ee it---meaning interview$, movie part$, and $o forth---and I can get fifty million dollar checks without even having to work up a sweat, like I'll have to if I remain a teenage tennis star.

OK, then.

I now self-identify as the world's only giraffe-human.

Done

And anyone who suggests otherwise will get sued into oblivion as soon as I move to California, too. Which will be ANOTHER source of revenue. :col:


Screen Shot 2023-01-09 at 3.38.30 PM.png
 

AJL67

Lifer
May 26, 2022
4,489
24,341
Florida - Space Coast
You guys are GOOD!

I just realized if I self-identify as something unusual enough, that people will want to $ee it---meaning interview$, movie part$, and $o forth---and I can get fifty million dollar checks without even having to work up a sweat, like I'll have to if I remain a teenage tennis star.

OK, then.

I now self-identify as the world's only giraffe-human.

Done

And anyone who suggests otherwise will get sued into oblivion as soon as I move to California, too. Which will be ANOTHER source of revenue. :col:


View attachment 193397
Too late