I’ve been losing friends lately. It hurts. It hurts a lot. God has taken them much too soon. Mid 60’s with much of life still to live. Their passing has left a huge hole in my heart.
I cherish my friendships, even more as I become older. And understand, that it makes no difference to me what kind of a lifestyle you choose to live, if we are friends, then on my end, you remain a friend for life.
One of my all time great movies is “The Shawshank Redemption“. In that movie, Morgan Freeman played the part of a longtime inmate. He makes a statement to other inmates about an old timer who was paroled after spending 50 years in prison. The old guy was depressed because he was paroled. He didn’t want leave the joint. So Freeman says to the other inmates. “He doesn’t want to leave because he’s been institutionalized.” Meaning, the old timer had become accustomed to prison life. Everything he wanted or needed was provided to him by that prison. That statement never meant much to me, until last night.
I have a few school friends who spent most of their adult lives in prison. Last night, one of them called me for help with a situation. And then he began to sob like a little baby. I was shocked and saddened to hear him this way.
I never condoned how Louie lived his life. But we were and still are great friends.
Louie “The Lip” was a person you never wanted to mess with. When we were in HS, I watched him beat a high school football player so bad that three of the kids teeth were lying on the ground. It took four of us to pull Louie off the guy. Another time I watched Louie beat up 2 kids at a dodge ball game. In later years crime became his passion, and prison was his home.
On the phone the Lip told me he wanted to die. He told me he was so depressed he could not leave the house. He lost his energy and his desire to be with his kids and grandkids. I said to him. “Louie, you spent all those years in prison, weren’t you depressed then? You must have had a way to deal with that?” His answer was. “Cheech. I was happier in the joint. This is worse than being in prison.” When he told me that, Morgan Freeman’s words, “he’s been institutionalized,” now made sense to me.
Louie told me that “in the joint, I had everything I needed. Now, I can’t pay my bills. I have no job. I cancelled TV, and computer access because I can’t afford it, and I can’t go out to eat. I’m a slave to my damn house.”
Yup, in the joint, Louie “The Lip” had it made. But now, with a home, friends and family all around him, Louie is suicidal.
Before I hung up I told Louie that he needed to see a Doctor. But proud, hard core, Italians don’t want to hear that shit. So I fear now that if Louie does anything, it will be to commit a crime so that he can get back to the joint, where he can start living again. Or worse yet, take his own life.
I don’t want to lose another friend.
I cherish my friendships, even more as I become older. And understand, that it makes no difference to me what kind of a lifestyle you choose to live, if we are friends, then on my end, you remain a friend for life.
One of my all time great movies is “The Shawshank Redemption“. In that movie, Morgan Freeman played the part of a longtime inmate. He makes a statement to other inmates about an old timer who was paroled after spending 50 years in prison. The old guy was depressed because he was paroled. He didn’t want leave the joint. So Freeman says to the other inmates. “He doesn’t want to leave because he’s been institutionalized.” Meaning, the old timer had become accustomed to prison life. Everything he wanted or needed was provided to him by that prison. That statement never meant much to me, until last night.
I have a few school friends who spent most of their adult lives in prison. Last night, one of them called me for help with a situation. And then he began to sob like a little baby. I was shocked and saddened to hear him this way.
I never condoned how Louie lived his life. But we were and still are great friends.
Louie “The Lip” was a person you never wanted to mess with. When we were in HS, I watched him beat a high school football player so bad that three of the kids teeth were lying on the ground. It took four of us to pull Louie off the guy. Another time I watched Louie beat up 2 kids at a dodge ball game. In later years crime became his passion, and prison was his home.
On the phone the Lip told me he wanted to die. He told me he was so depressed he could not leave the house. He lost his energy and his desire to be with his kids and grandkids. I said to him. “Louie, you spent all those years in prison, weren’t you depressed then? You must have had a way to deal with that?” His answer was. “Cheech. I was happier in the joint. This is worse than being in prison.” When he told me that, Morgan Freeman’s words, “he’s been institutionalized,” now made sense to me.
Louie told me that “in the joint, I had everything I needed. Now, I can’t pay my bills. I have no job. I cancelled TV, and computer access because I can’t afford it, and I can’t go out to eat. I’m a slave to my damn house.”
Yup, in the joint, Louie “The Lip” had it made. But now, with a home, friends and family all around him, Louie is suicidal.
Before I hung up I told Louie that he needed to see a Doctor. But proud, hard core, Italians don’t want to hear that shit. So I fear now that if Louie does anything, it will be to commit a crime so that he can get back to the joint, where he can start living again. Or worse yet, take his own life.
I don’t want to lose another friend.
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