On Being a ‘Gentle Man’

[sparrowhawk]

Pups, I think everyone above has spoken well and accurately of the many distinctions you've raised. But I must say, in a society that tends to look down upon the gentleman, as a person who has strived all his life to be one, it is so wonderful to come across an essay as articulate as yours. The highest outwardly level I've reached is blue jeans and a tweed jacket (the Bohemian look)--the pipe didn't come along until later, not to advance an image, but because of the near-transcendental qualities of the pipe. And all of us--and I suspect Pups already has--should look at Neuman's "Idea of the University" as a way to discover how to be a gentleman, indeed, that old, politically incorrect axiom today, that education is for the purpose of teaching us to be human. Think we already are? Today on Facebook I saw a picture of a roughly dressed farm worker on top of a helpless calf, punching the poor creature in the face like it was a victim in a bar brawl. I wish there were more gentlemen like you, Pups, and with your permission, will print out your excellent essay for repeat reading for myself--what a rarity this essay is!

 

[winton]

I wear my suit on the first Sunday of each month to serve communion at church. Work requires business casual, but we can wear jeans if we meet production goals. My wife loves the jeans and tie combo, so I often wear that. I occasionally wear my top hat, but enjoy my baseball cap in the garage that says "Dad to the bone". Mostly I wear a Greek fisherman's cap or a floppy big apple hat.
Based off the way I was raised and years of customer contact, I can easily relate to both the owner of a company and the custodian.
Winton

 

[ssjones]

Someone recently posted this on Facebook. I'd say being a gentleman is foremost a matter of behavior. I think dress should appropriate to the situation or occasion, but that is secondary.

 

[plateauguy]

The men in my family, my role models, were self-effacing, simple, hard working men with calloused hands and weathered faces. They said little. They smiled a lot. They chuckled more than laughed but would occasionally laugh loud about themselves when ribbed

12: You described my father and uncles perfectly! Thank you for that memory.
One of my wife's favorite dinner partners was a man who owned a chain of optical offices in the mid-eighties. They were always seated together, and got a long like a house a fire. He was a multi-millionaire and wore white patent leather shoes with gold buckles from the 70's. The shoes were his only "good" shoes, but his wife thought they looked tacky with a tuxedo. He couldn't see spending money on something he didn't need. That's why he was a millionaire, and I'm not.

 

[anglesey]

meal of Scotch eggs and a little more Guinness

Is that the kind of thing you lot think we eat and drink in pubs in the UK? :lol:
Aside from that, being gentlemanly is a way of being, regardless of clothes or whatever. To me, it's about being unruffled by everything and being polite, but not soft or fawning.
I wear a suit pretty much every day, because I just wouldn't get on in my job otherwise,

but I still go to the pub with my friends on a friday, most of whom are blue collar workers. Whatever you can get on with really, doesnt matter. Personally I feel more at home in a suit and don't own any tshirts, but that doesnt mean I don't ever get my hands dirty.

 

[gregprince]

I found early in life that a true gentleman will treat anyone with dignity and allow them to feel valued. The rest are just posers.