On Being a ‘Gentle Man’

[tbradsim1]

12pups, I am an old codger, taught that dress shows respect, I have a Furneal Suit, which I"m wearing more these days unfortuneatly, I believe you must treat people like you want to be treated. I had to Orginize a Supper one time for my friend who runs a Hospital for his top staff at a fishing village. Since I lived there at the time and knew everyone I arranged it at the only resturant there. We had a good time and when it was over, they wanted to tip the waiter, bartender, but said nothing about the cook, who was an old Cajun lady who was struggling in life. I took the money they had piled up, over 500$ and told them the one that made this a success you"all didn't mention. So I took 300$ and asked them to follow me in the kitchen shake her hand and tell her how much you enjoyed her cooking. When they left she was in tears and 300$ richer. Being a Man and a Gentleman is careing for people that most people don't care about.

 

[smokeybear]

Im late to the show but man am i glad i got to read this. 12pups you really amazed me friend that was some fine writing. I was moved and i truly hope you have great smokes with your Uncle you really nailed what pipe smoking is all about.

 

[misterlowercase]

Hmmm, somehow I didn't equate this as relating to Steve Morrisette's column, as I've yet to have read it,

http://pipesmagazine.com/blog/category/the-gentleman-smoker/

so now I see where the commentary is coming from.
I enjoyed Steve's writing and I'm glad it's featured here, another arrow in the kickass quiver.
The total content of pipesmagazine.com is staggering, so full I've yet to go thru it all, this really is a magazine in the true sense of the word.
The gentleman's etiquette thing reminds me greatly of the Chap Manifesto

http://thechapmagazine.co.uk/content/section_manifesto/

I must say that I'm drawn to this style and I dig seein' people dress'd suchwise because it's so rare nowadays, and I wish I could pull off the look myself but I simply cannot, although I can pull off the somewhat roughened version, a working class person can be a proper chap too of course, perhaps not as affected, but certainly with some stylings.
The downside, for me, about all this would be the vanity aspect, many men primping with exotic oils or whatnot, excessive energy spent on outward appearance, not that I'm knockin' it, but along with a cultivated look should also come a cultivated mind --- topography is interesting, but what lies beneath even moreso, quite cliche but true.
If I could pull it off, I'd be a full-on dapper rude dude dress'd very smartly at all times.
One of my heroes, Billy Childish carries himself somewhat within this chap aesthetic, and he is the furthest thing

away from the landed gentry stereotype I could imagine...
http://www.poetryarchive.org/poetryarchive/singlePoet.do?poetId=14041

:

:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1QJx-1WeHU

 

[plateauguy]

Being a Man and a Gentleman is careing for people that most people don't care about.

Bradley, as usual, you're right on the money.
Excellent observations, 12Pup.

 

[lurch76]

I have heard a saying that money and class don't always go hand in hand. I think class is a way you carry yourself and present yourself to others. I have seen people that make good money that I think are white trash and I have met low income people that I think are class acts. It's about the person not the bank account.

 

[bobpnm]

The Old Cajun is a class act all the way!

 

[instymp]

Bradley, I never thought of that, you Da Man.

 

[jmill208]

But I am a pipe smoker. And it is itself a mighty fine class to belong to.

Perhaps the common thread that we all share goes much further than the fact that we enjoy pipes and tobacco. Posts like this are proof positive that there exists a certain "something" about pipers from all walks of life that forms this common bond. Wear what you wish, and smoke what you like.
Great post 12pups!

 

[allan]

12 Pups
Along with all of the great comments above, your essay brings me back to some of the things that I have loved about this forum-the introspection, the camaraderie, the willingness to share and to give information without being snide, sarcastic or condescending.
The bonding between folks from all walks of life over a bowl of tobacco.
Thanks for sharing that.

 

[12pups]

lostandfound:

A buddy of mine passed away around this time last year, and you are literally the spittin' image of him. His daily attire even consisted of the same kind of hat you wear, and a plaid flannel shirt. To learn that you are an Iowan as well, is truly spooky.

Hey, similarity might be familial. Was he by chance a
Stupka

Hejlik

Steinwandt

Dotz

Unger
Big family, sprawling out from its Wisconsin-Iowa roots to Pacific Coast and Gulf of Mexico. Me, grew up in NW Iowa and lived there till I was 45. Lived in SW Minnesota past 7 years.
Speaking of family... starting to feel a little cozy in here, thanks to posts to this thread and some of my previous ones, like Where/When a Pipe and Thank You Pipes Magazine.
What a great group of people subscribe here!

 

[edvard]

Excellent, good. I definitely feel more at home now.

 

[tbradsim1]

I remember going to the sale barn with my Grandfather, he saw a Bull he wanted and told the owner I want that one, the owner tried to steer him on a cheaper bull, 1200$ in the fifties was a lot of money, my Grandfather was dressed in old but clean kakias, and he had his tradional Steston Stockman hat on. He said I want that one, owner said I"m gonna have to call the Bank. One of the owners friend laughed and said Mr Simon owns half of the Bank. He got his bull.

 

[bulletsnbriars]

This topic has brought some tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing everyone.

 

[12pups]

Welcome to the forum, Edvard!
Pups

 

[peckinpahhombre]

My Grandfather taught me to be a Simple Man . . . or maybe that was Lynyrd Skynyrd . . . shit, I can't remember

 

[edvard]

Thank you all for the welcome. I really enjoy this site. It's comforting to hear positive talk about being a man. I have had enough of being thought of as misogynistic because I open a door for a lady. I've had this happen before and try not to be bitter. I do point out that I would open the door for a guy as well, though the men don't complain. This was a great read and reminded me of reading "The pearl". Nostalgia with quiet cheer. Thanks for that.

 

[simnettpratt]

pups, I missed this post the first time around.
I think, the best thing you accomplished in writing that beautiful, magnificent, insightful piece, was what it brought out in the rest of the gang.

 

[murf]

Edvard, I remember that book. It's been a few years since I've read it. I might have to revisit it soon

 

[edgreen]

I wore a suit everyday for 35 years while I was teaching. I added a fedora in honor of my grandfather about twenty five years ago. Since my retirement and my disability I've only worn a suit once, to a funeral. I've kept the hat, but I also haven't cut my hair or shaved since my retirement. I'm basically Gandalf with a billiard, now. It seems the "fashion" these days is to wear your suit or blazer 3 sizes too small, anyway, and I really don't have the body build for that. Steve's columns always bring me back to my GQ days.

 

[drwatson]

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: I have nothing more to add as you almost brought the dr. to a tear!.....