Obsessive Pipe Dedication Syndrome

[cynicismandsugar]

Hello, my name is Jeff, and I suffer from PDS [Pipe Dedication Syndrome]. My addiction affects those closest to me ― specifically, my wife ― who has, in a gesture of love and compassion, fetched me numerous briars over the years, only to have me often reject them, replying, "That's not my straight Virginia pipe, sweetheart."
She'll sigh, attempting to maintain composure, while returning to the display shelf, trying to recall the slight variations between a straight billiard, Canadian, and pot: "Which is the sandblast, and which is the rusticated, again?"
"The sandblast is textured in such a way to accentuate the grain, and the rusticated is textured to accentuate the texture."
Another sigh of frustration, followed by a prompt delivery of three separate options, allowing me the luxury to, "Pick [my] own damn pipe."
And, I completely understand my beautiful wife's exasperation. Whether it be the volumes of trivial details she has been forced to absorb due to osmosis, the hours of shared web galleries and reviews, or my incessant sentiments regarding all of the above (as well as a bit of spirits and photography thrown in, for good measure), the woman has shown nothing less than saint-like patients with her choice of life-long tormentor.
As with many pipe and semi-pipe pros, I have bouts of PAD and TAD, but my PDS seems chronic... incurable.
It always starts the same: I decide I need a new general pipe; go out and pick a design and size that I enjoy; get it home; and start breaking it in. Then, as I get to know the smoking characteristics, I start thinking: Hey, this would be a pretty nice burley pipe. And, so, I try a favorite burley blend in it... ... ... and, now, my new general pipe is a burley pipe. So, of course, I have to go out find another decent general pipe... and the vicious cycle begins again.
And I'm not just sticking to the typical Virginia vs. Latakia blend dedication either. I've gone far, far down the rabbit hole.
My current rotation includes dedication(s) to:
Latakia/Virginia

Latakia [mild]

Latakia [heavy]

Latakia [Oriental forward]

Burley [straight]

Burley w/heavy Latakia

Cigar leaf

Deer Tongue

Virginia

Va/Per

Va/bur

Va/Kentucky [specifically Old Dark Fired]

Va/Per/bur [which I will smoke any combination of Va/Per/bur]

Aromatic(s)

As well as some cob/basket pipes dedicated to Lakeland blends.
And if this behavior isn't compulsive enough, this evening I selected a pipe that I've had resting for a year. It was a Brebbia calabash that I broke in last winter with a tin of Christmas Cheer (2015). I gave it a good polish and loaded a bowl of another Christmas Cheer (2015) that I've been indulging through.
It was great! And, by great, I mean pure, clean, and rich Christmas Cheer!
I have pipes dedicated to straight Virginias, such as Orlik Golden Sliced or Gawith Best Brown Flake ― and it's not uncommon for a bit of the sweet grassy notes from the Orlik to carry over to the dark fruity flavor of the Gawith. I know this sounds insane, because Virginias are, more-or-less, Virginias ― but that McClelland dedicated calabash was the richest Christmas Cheer flavor profile I've had in recent months. It could be that particular shape (tall, thin, and tapered) just sings with that blend, but I think it's the combination of shape and previous dedication.
My dedication fixation has become an unhealthy obsession; because, now, I'm debating on whether to add the further subcategories: bright and dark Virginias.
How bizarre among the unique am I on this one? Does anyone else take dedication this far? Do I need medication; perhaps less tobacco? Or should I have just gone to bed an hour ago, instead of taking the time to actually write this post?
I have a feeling that one of the seasoned war horses will talk some common sense into me.

 

[hmhaines]

Hi Jeff!
Join a Fight Club. My friend Tyler says it does wonders for all of these little issues.

 

[disinformatique]

I see around a 1000 pipes in your future.

 

[styler]

I have OCD tendencies, so I feel your pain!
I've not started down the route of dedicating pipes and will do my best to avoid it altogether. I fear that it would turn what's mean to be a relaxing pastime into a rather frustrating experience.

 

[cynicismandsugar]

Join a Fight Club. My friend Tyler says it does wonders for all of these little issues.

But, I thought the first rule of Fight Club...?

I see around a 1000 pipes in your future.

Yeah, I started out with: I think I want a nice briar pipe. Followed by: If I had seven pipes, I would be set for a whole week! Then: Okay, my final goal is just 21 pipes, that will give me enough to smoke 3 bowls a day. So, of course, my next magic number is 100... that's a good round number, right? ... or is 500 better? ... ...

I've not started down the route of dedicating pipes and will do my best to avoid it altogether. I fear that it would turn what's mean to be a relaxing pastime into a rather frustrating experience.

I feel like a need to create a Public Service poster: DON'T be like Jeff... ONE pipe — ONE blend leads to A LOT of pipes.
Of course, after writing the tagline, I'm not sure if that's an anti or pro public service campaign.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I would forget what pipe is for what. I dedicate somewhat, but I also enjoy mixing it up. A Virginia with the slight hint of latakia or oriental can be nice, as well as a latakia blend with the hint of aromatics or a lakeland. I don't get any ghost aromas from my Virginias and Vapers. But, I do have one pipe only dedicated to McClelland Virginias and one only for Astleys 109 round tins. Once all of the Astley round tins are gone, I just hope I don't lose interest in pipes altogether.

 

[cynicismandsugar]

I would forget what pipe is for what. I dedicate somewhat, but I also enjoy mixing it up.

I do have several pipes that are anything goes as far as dedication, including my first briar, an Aran 68 [brandy]. So, in reality, I'm not clinically stressing over selection... most of the time. I seem to favor matching certain shapes for specific blends, which makes it easy to remember my dedicated pipes. As a matter of fact, personally preferring a shape stuffed with a particular blend style is probably what got me into this predicament in the first place.
I'm not always appalled if a bit of smoldering Latakia flavor sneaks into a VaPer, or if a few peas invade my mashed potatoes, but sometimes I enjoy a 21 year old Scotch sans the ice.

 

[mso489]

I am struck by a combination of pity and admiration. Admiration for your being able to keep all the designations in mind without big clutzy labels, and having the sense that each and every bowl is being smoked in an utterly discrete manner, untainted by tobaccos unsuitable to that particular bowl. I guess the pity is that pipe smoking is supposed to be a pleasure, and pleasure most usually rises with a certain abandon and emotional carelessness. I think that's why I avoid tobaccos that ghost, and I don't count Latakia in that category. I admit, I probably end up designating, inadvertently, by choosing medium diameter deep bowls for burley and burley blends, cobs for American old style blends, wider pipes for complex blends, and medium-small conical bowls for Virginias. But my method is strictly last minute and haphazard. If this designation makes you more happy than constrained-feeling, it's the right thing for you. I couldn't do it; it would drive me nuts, or maybe more nuts. But I know you're one happy smoker, so carry on.

 

[disinformatique]

I have pipes dedicated to Blend Family and Strength (English/Strong or English/Light etc etc)

 

[mso489]

Maybe I just lack orderliness. Cleaning out my study is years overdue. Too much hedonistic pipe smoking.

 

[skraps]

That is way too much dedication.

 

[gloucesterman]

My pipes are all dedicated to smoking whatever I'm putting in them today. Nothing I smoke tends to "Ghost". As for my wife fetching, well after 44 years of marriage she doesn't fetch much save the tools needed to complete something on her "Honey Do List".

 

[weezell]

My pipes are all dedicated to smoking whatever I'm putting in them today.

But with me most of the pipes I smoke are Meerschaums, so I don't have any real problems with ghosting(plus my taste buds are fried) :wink: ...

 

[cynicismandsugar]

Admiration for your being able to keep all the designations in mind without big clutzy labels...

I lean towards certain shapes/sizes for certain blend types; so, chances are, I would be reaching for the 'dedicated' pipes by default anyway. Now, whether or not I have a spreadsheet outlining my pipes, their shapes, and their dedications... Well, I'm already sounding OCD...

Too much hedonistic pipe smoking.

Which is just enough.

That is way too much dedication.

I see what you did there.

... she doesn't fetch much save the tools needed to complete something on her "Honey Do List".

I try to stay on top of home projects -- and despite my protest, she is always doing this for me: films, coffee, tobacco, and spirits. She's the lil' devil on my shoulder.

But with me most of the pipes I smoke are Meerschaums, so I don't have any real problems with ghosting(plus my taste buds are fried)

It took me some time to get on board the Meerschaum train, because I never had favorable experiences with them; that is, until I got my hands on an African Meerschaum! Man, do I love that thing! Smokes everything amazingly. But, finding another, while, at the same time, having the funds available, has been a task.

 

[Chasing Embers]

You let your wife touch your pipes? 8O

 

[cynicismandsugar]

You let your wife touch your pipes? 8O

8O

Um, I'm not sure how to answer that.

 

[Chasing Embers]

I never make sex references as I prefer alcohol and tobacco. My wife never goes near my pipe closet.

 

[cynicismandsugar]

My wife's pretty cool like that. She probably takes better care of my pipes than I do, if that's possible. It's not uncommon for her to take a flashlight and check my pipes for dottle after I've already cleaned them.

 

[Chasing Embers]

Does she smoke a pipe too?

 

[cynicismandsugar]

She tried to join me in the obsession, but never developed the chill mentality. She stays supportive though... more than she should.