Massage vs. Pipe

[12pups]

I totally don't get the point of massage. You lie down undressed in a warm, dark comfortable bed and pay a woman $60 to keep shoving you so you don't fall asleep.
WTH?
Anyways... compare that to smoking a pipe. My world has already slowed down while I'm picking up the first pinch of tobacco to drizzle in. Spongy comfort of my thumb covering the fragrant shreds, making it ready for a scorch. Those first few puffs a tease. The distraction of leveling it for a second light and then that big silky billow rolling out to the sides. It rushes out at first and then settles to a slow billowing roll while looking for my truck window. Seeing it, the cauliflower form suddenly leans that way, stretches toward it and quite decisively flies out to join the spirit world, blending in, invisible.
Then my eyes close, and slowly, when they open, only raise half open, with some effort, to reconsider the world around me. Now I am completely detached, a lazy observer. Someone else go do something; I'll watch. Body sinking back, settling against the seat back... or a tree... or a wall.... Tension falling away from my shoulders, just shedding itself from me, any signs of it fading from my brow. Tranquil. At peace.
Dp you know how much of my favorite tobacco I can buy with $60? How many times that means I can do this, over and again, every day?
And what's better yet, there ain't no lady poking at me to keep from enjoying it, either.
My money's going to better tobaccos.
Hell with that masseuse.

 

[petes03]

I kinda like having a good looking woman rubbing on me! Though I don't know about paying $60 for it! My pipes are definitely a easier, cheaper option though.
Oh by the way, I hope you don't drive your truck with your eyes closed, lol!

 

[warren]

You're need to find a different masseuse! I used to enjoy the banyas in Russia. A bit of time in the sauna being smacked with leafy branches, a lap of two in the pool, high pressure water massage if you wish, lovely masseuses, and a break every now and then for a smoke, vodka, food, conversation and other services. I really enjoyed some of the other services! Usually a full evening, three or four hours. In the right climes you could go out and caper in the snow before returning to the sauna. Pipes and cigars, gentle beatings in the sauna, food and . . . well, it was always time well spent.

 

[12pups]

The correct answer is, "You're doing it wrong."
(But my way's funnier to me).

 

[tuold]

The pipe is definitely a better deal! It may be my latent asperger's tendencies coming through but I don't like strangers touching me, ever.

 

[oldmannk]

+1 warren

Kind of agree with Petes 03. Like a women rubbing on me. Why not changing your masseuse and then have a pipe.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

...or pay $60 to have your pipe rubbed. :wink:

 

[12pups]

Smoked, cosmic. (And paying someone $60 to smoke your pipe is actually legal in 11 of Nevada's 17 counties, long as it's a state-licensed professional pipe smoker.)
But then... keeping the $60 is *still* a smarter move. Guaranteed not to catch some STD (stem-transmitted disease) that way. Monogamous pipe smoking, that's the key to pipe longevity.

 

[phred]

The correct answer is, "You're doing it wrong."

This. :D
Pipe smoking definitely relaxes me, gives me some time to think and/or read a good book, and gets my weekend off to a good start.
A good massage limbers up muscles that have tightened up after a few weeks of working out, especially as I increase the number of reps I'm doing or the amount of weight I'm lifting or the distance/time I'm riding or walking. I can have the massage therapist focus on problem areas (such as my right hip, which tries to unscrew itself if I ride my bike too long without a proper warmup). Since I can't reach some of the smaller muscles along my spine (especially the ones under the shoulder blades), it's helpful to have someone else work on those. I've noticed that my neck sounds less like a bowl of Rice Krispies now that I'm getting regular massages, and getting rid of any leftover lactic acid that I haven't managed to flush out is never a bad thing.
Different techniques for different types of relaxation - if all you have is a hammer, all problems start to look like nails after a while. I love my pipes, but they don't do a thing for my right hip. :P

 

[mso489]

Massage can address inflamed joints, knots in muscles from stress, cramped muscles, circulation, etc.

A tobacco pipe is a means to reflection and serenity, and with others, sociability. I don't think of them

in the same category, not either or. The use of massage may occur to you with age, as you have more

aches and pains. For a few hours after a massage, I feel like one whole entity, not a collection of ouches.

 

[12pups]

And snot runs out your nose after a while.

Wow, MSM489. So... really think I am mad at the masseuse for keeping me awake? LOL
Okay, I'll be serious now. Massage is one of the perks of my job here. I don't pay for them at all. I had 90 minutes yesterday, and when I came upstairs to thank the GM and director of operations for the extra time, I started off with that joke ("I don't get the point of..."). And it immediately made me think of just how relaxing a smoke is. Maybe it was the massage that made me sink back so comfortably on the ride home. Probably. But the smoke sure had a lot to do with it.
Not either/or, by any means (and I wish she'd have worked on my neck more, actually... that's right when the 90 minutes was up and it was a coworker's turn).
Where do I work? I'm a photojournalist on the magazine side of a communications firm. Travel puts kinks in me that sitting at my desk when I come back exacerbates. We have a masseuse on retainer. Good for her; great for us.

 

[aquilas]

I prefer the pipe to a massage...............but that's only because I'm ticklish when it comes to getting massaged.

 

[mso489]

If I compare pipe smoking to anything else, it is (to me, this is just me) more like meditation and/or

contemplation. Sometimes pipe smoking really energizes my analytical thought processes, sometimes my

creative. Since it is a physical act, ritual, experience, I don't think of it as competing with other

physical acts, like exercise, eating, drinking, sex, drawing, etc. I think pipe smoking can benefit thought

because it draws attention away from the intention and effort to think and allows the brain to roam a bit,

while I'm packing the pipe, relighting, tamping, and that prompts the thought processes along. But who

knows -- this may all be a rumination whilst puffing.

 

[crazypipe]

I like both ::

 

[drwatson]

You obviously have never had the "HAPPY ENDING"

 

[cobguy]

lol ... beat me to that one doc! :rofl:

 

[starcat]

Massage is a Sexual energy trade. There just happen to be strict boundaries with it.

This is the true reality of it that people don't want to own up to, but of course we are living in an age of Ego and mass lies.

If you have never had hands laid on by a very skilled operator or a shaman, you are missing out on a very fine tonic for the body.

Massage and then pipe in that order.

 

[12pups]

Note to self:
Dear Self,

Tell joke. Say it's a joke. Explain joke. Quit the irony. Every topic is serious to someone. Share this posting wisdom with others, stat.
:rofl:

 

[tobyducote]

How about smoking a pipe while getting massages...now that's a nice combo

 

[12pups]

That's what that hole in the face cushion is for, of course.
So many possibilities! S/he has to learn to fill my pipe correctly, of course. And instead of scented candles or potpourri warmer, use that flame to relight.
Instead of talking in terms of time (30 min, 60 min)... she could charge a bowl rate: one bowl massage, two bowl massage, etc.
Brilliant!