Irrefutable Rules of Pipe Smoking

[deathmetal]

Lose any semblance of intelligence by uncritically believing all manner of old wives tales and by lusting and obsessing after hard to find mediocre tobaccos.

The dreaded "collector's mentality." It appears everywhere. When I see kids rushing out to spend $600 on some rare heavy metal vinyl because it's rare or ironic (flute solos), I am divided between sadness and amusement.

 

[reniaeats]

Besides the other's mentioned, my hard rule is to not judge a fellow smoker's choices. However, I am guilty of breaking this rule pretty much every time I open my computer, so...

 

[shawnofthedead]

The only irrefutable rule for me is: never smoke indoors. (Not that I actually had a room to smoke in).

I never smoke outdoors, for it is always windy where I live, and I don't like putting one of those wind cap thingy on my pipes. So I prefer to smoke in a well-ventilated room.

 

[stickframer]

Besides the other's mentioned, my hard

rule is to not judge a fellow smoker's choices. However, I am guilty of breaking this rule pretty much every time I open my computer, so...

This!

 

[winton]

Don't set your beard on fire, while lighting your pipe.

 

[captainprophesy]

Buncha anarchists in here

 

[12pups]

Try not to light up or smoke while you're filling your car. Probably nothing will happen, but it gets unwanted attention from other motorists at the same station.

 

[derfatdutchman]

Don't stick a lit pipe into your shirt pocket.

 

[kanada]

To quote my favourite movie(butch cassidy and the Sundance kid)...
Rules, In a knife fight(pipe smoking)? No rules!
Expect...enjoy it and if you don't, then you're doing it wrong

 

[darthcider]

Listen to everything then ignore most of it.

 

[jiujitsubowl]

This may be classified as preference but i think its a sound etched in stone rule......dont inhale. Pipe tobacco is not meant for inhalation.

 

[captainprophesy]

but i think its a sound etched in stone rule......dont inhale. Pipe tobacco is not meant for inhalation.

Ha... Ive known people who actually do inhale when smoking a pipe. Its definitely not for me, but apparently there are those that do.

 

[elbert]

For the sake of sanity and financial security, the first rule of pipe-smoking should be...
1.) "Don't".
And now I'm off to look at some sitters! Maybe a poker'll catch my eye...

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Don't eat the tobacco.

Don't soak the tobacco in lighter fluid to get the fire started.

Don't urinate in your pipe.

Don't try to hide your pipe from TSA in body orrifices unless you like the process.

Don't join a pipe forum unless you can afford it.

Don't buy pipes from places that have store names taken from a Lewis Carrol novel.

Don't try to smoke while jumping on a trampoline soaked in gasoline.
...but still, these are merely suggestions.

 

[phil67]

Not exactly an Irrefutable Rule of Pipe Smoking, but don’t take up pipe smoking simply because you saw ‘The Lord of the Rings’ trilogy, rush out and try to purchase the same type of pipe and then try to blow out billows of smoke like Gandalf.

 

[settersbrace]

Don't pull out your pipe and light it while touring a gun powder factory.

 

[elbert]

I'm concerned that The Lord of the Rings has forever ruined my notion about what a Churchwarden should look like.
Fortunately I'm taking remedial coursework from the legendary Jeremy Brett;

 

[mephistopheles]

Don't try to smoke while jumping on a trampoline soaked in gasoline.

Don't pull out your pipe and light it while touring a gun powder factory.

Pfft, free country.

 

[frozenchurchwarden]

I think the more important question is: What happens if I do try to blow billows of smoke like Gandalf?
Oddly enough, after watching it again this spring it seems that most of the pipes in LotR are quite plain, possibly not even having a shank, just a stem shoved in the side of the bowl like a Cob.

Those were probably just used by the Hobbits and Gimli though.

 

[thomasmartin]

Also they don't smoke tobacco but "pipe weed". Who knows what that is and what hallucinogenic properties it has...