How Many of you are Divorced?

[HRPufnstuf]

Divorced and it went poorly. The blessing was that we had no children. Would have been so much worse.

I wish you courage and patience, maintaining that friendship with your ex may be trying at times but your daughter will be the better for the effort you both make on her behalf. I am confident in that.

 

[K.E. Powell]

I know this will sound cruel, but the best bit of advice, such as it is, that I could offer would be to not air out these kinds of things to strangers in the first place. No one here, including myself, is going to be able to offer really useful advice beyond either stating the obvious or the platitudinous. The reason for that is because marriages are deeply personal, and the dynamics of your own relationship with your ex are only fully known to yourself and her. Seeking out advice and talking through what is likely a difficult and deeply emotional experience is a natural response, and if pursued cautiously, even a healthy one. But advice should be given out by those with the wealth of knowledge of your situation and have both the compassion and emotional maturity to deal tenderly and assuredly through such an ordeal. Maybe some folks here fit that bill, but I know I do not.

Again, not being a jerk here in the slightest. And I understand that some folks here do know each other personally and are good friends IRL. If that is the case with you, then cool beans and disregard what I said earlier.

 

[mso489]

Married at 30 to a remarkable woman. She had an extraordinary teaching career, and I lost her when she was 52 and I was 54. I was ten years a widower. I married a friend I've known since we were 19 years old. Her ex had departed with another woman after many years, and he died shortly thereafter. Again, my wife had an expansive career as a journalist, Manhattan restaurant reviewer, and food writer, and she maintains an active interest in those fields and in news in general, and reads all the time. I'm lucky with no divorces. I need my better half, and I know that. My first wife made me a better husband to my second.

 

[hoosierpipeguy]

We just used to have so much fun together, and over the 17 years together, we have both changed. Life has gotten different, more hectic, etc. We aren't the same people we were that long ago. It's true.

Sometimes you just know

Regardless of all the circumstances, I wish the best for you and your family.

 

[Bassman65]

We just used to have so much fun together, and over the 17 years together, we have both changed. Life has gotten different, more hectic, etc. We aren't the same people we were that long ago. It's true.

Sometimes you just know

Only you can judge what’s best for you and your family. Nobody else knows what you’re truly going through. Nobody else can truly know your struggle. Whatever you decide, I wish you and yours all the health and happiness in the world.

 

[AcesAndEights]

Wise words told to me by the priest on my wedding day. “Marriage is about what kids NEED, not what adults WANT.”

Best of luck in whatever choice you make.

 

[mawnansmiff]

Well since I never married (almost did twice) I suppose divorce is one of those things I'll never be able to look forward to

Jay.

 

[JOHN72]

I got married the first time in church. Then with my second wife, by the court. My ex-partner, a good, kind-hearted woman, let's leave by mutual agreement. Now with my second wife, an excellent girl, I live happily. Dear friend. I only wish this decision is for the best. May the harmony and love of ex-partners, responsible and adults, and thus give the best to your children. I send you much strength and encouragement. May God bless you and your children.

 

[scloyd]

My wife and I celebrated our 45th wedding anniversary yesterday, so I can't give you any advice about divorce.

Your daughter is your number one priority. Continue to love her, support her and be there for her any time she needs you.

I wish nothing but the best for you, your wife and daughter.

 

[captpat]

My wife and I are a "till death do us part" couple, in August we celebrated our 43rd wedding anniversary, still going strong. Both of our parent's marriages went past 50 years.

 

[Sam Gamgee]

Tough situation. I've been married 28 years, never divorced. There have been seasons where we loved deeply, and seasons where it was a perpetual winter. Feelings come and go. Me, I'm committed for life and that's the end of the matter. I know not everyone lives that way. We all make choices.

I've seen a lot of people get divorced so they could be "happier," and to this day I've personally never seen it work. I've witnessed the season after a divorce start out great (weight loss, travel, new interests, etc.), but in the end life just become life again. And often times the same mistakes are made over again in the next relationship, so it all repeats.

I saw the "50% of marriages end in divorce" stat thrown around in this thread. I don't believe that has ever been truly established or substantiated. It's just a number people throw around.

 

[sablebrush52]

Tough situation. I've been married 28 years, never divorced. There have been seasons where we loved deeply, and seasons where it was a perpetual winter. Feelings come and go. Me, I'm committed for life and that's the end of the matter. I know not everyone lives that way. We all make choices.

I've seen a lot of people get divorced so they could be "happier," and to this day I've personally never seen it work. I've witnessed the season after a divorce start out great (weight loss, travel, new interests, etc.), but in the end life just become life again. And often times the same mistakes are made over again in the next relationship, so it all repeats.

I saw the "50% of marriages end in divorce" stat thrown around in this thread. I don't believe that has ever been truly established or substantiated. It's just a number people throw around.

The 50% divorce rate is well substantiated and would have taken all of minute to find that out.

 

[Sam Gamgee]

The 50% divorce rate is well substantiated and would have taken all of minute to find that out.

I looked it up for the heck of it, and if stats are to be believed, the 50% stat isn't true. It's just something people say all the time and consider common knowledge.

 

[Paul 3.0]

I am, on my 2nd marriage now going on 15 years though this one seems to have stuck. First one was a combination of too young and became different people after personal losses. No ill will on my part, however she doesn't care for me much since I was the one who left.

 

[sablebrush52]

I looked it up for the heck of it, and if stats are to be believed, the 50% stat isn't true. It's just something people say all the time and consider common knowledge.

Where did you look it up? Because when I did, the stat was 50%.
It’s not something people make up.

 

[Sam Gamgee]

Where did you look it up? Because when I did, the stat was 50%.
It’s not something people make up.

I just duckduckgo'd "Do 50% of marriages end in divorce" and skimmed the first couple articles. It is absolutely something people just make up.

 

[sablebrush52]

I just duckduckgo'd "Do 50% of marriages end in divorce" and skimmed the first couple articles. It is absolutely something people just make up.

You might do more reliable research than DuckDuckGo, like analytics from court filings. Not made up, but believe what you need to.

 

[obc83]

Yes, very recently. Not in the legal sense as we were never "married" but you can't convince me that the feeling, the process, the time, doesn't amount to the same thing. Ending a relationship that has exceeded somewhere near the ten year mark will always be a process that extracts the most of your patience and tests your ability to stay civilized. Stay civilized brothers and sisters, they say it gets better. haha.

 

[Sam Gamgee]

You might do more reliable research than DuckDuckGo, like analytics from court filings. Not made up, but believe what you need to.

Respectfully, it was you that suggested a one-minute search that would clear up the matter. It did not.

 

[scloyd]

Divorce Rate in America: 48 Divorce Statistics [Updated 2023]

We compiled official data from the CDC, the Census, Pew Research and others to answer the true divorce rate, demographic data, and common divorce reasons.

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