Honked off Mrs

[cyndi]

Just because my genitalia doesn't dangle doesn't mean I don't have a perspective past "enjoyment." I was raised in the good ole boy's club by a father that taught me to be good at everything a man can so that I never have to be dependent on someone blessed with a dick. I meet every one of the criteria in this post for being a man except I have different parts. Last time I checked, I'm also raising a couple of sons - one of whom meets your personality requirements and the other who would rather be reading a book or swinging a golf club. One of them cries at the sight of a dead bug, the other likes to torture his brother by bringing him dead bugs.
And there's where I agree with you - virtues and personalities are not gender based. Saying men have to like guns, liquor, and hockey is like saying pit bulls are always vicious. It's an inaccurate and unnecessary stereotype. Can we get this post back on point?

 

[tslex]

Behind every great man is a woman who is really in charge

@Cyndi, respectfully, I'm afraid I'll have to disagree.
I realize that 20 years of First Wave Feminism and a popular culture where every sitcom dad is a blithering idiot may have lead you to believe this. And, indeed, perhaps you wish it to be true. But history, and the experience of years, show this not to be the case. And even feminists -- now in the Third Wave, if I'm keeping up -- have stopped trying to sell that perspective. If your experience is of men who have acted like it was true, then I apologize for my gender and hope you'll find the genuine article -- should you wish to -- soon.
So I'm afraid we disagree. But as I said in another post in another manner, different horses for different courses. If you have a worldview that is bringing you joy, satisfaction, security and love; if it is working well for you in your adult relationships and is serving the sons you are raising -- and if it's embodied in that unfortunate sentence -- well, have at it.

 

[lonestar]

I suppose on some deep philosophical level you are absolutely correct.
Here is hoping I never get drunk enough to swim that deep

Best Posrtascat quote ever

 

[portascat]

And I am fortunate to be blessed with a..., well I won't say it in the company of a lady.
And remember, just as a trivial piece of the debate, that some of the greatest warriors and men were also the most learned and read warriors and men. Since the Psalms of David, who was a "man of blood" and one few of us would like to be on the wrong side of the battlefield from as a warrior, or a general, to this day.
I am glad you are raising your sons well. I also glad to presume there is a good man taking a leading role in that, as well. One only need to walk in my line of work for one day to see the damage done by raising a boy in a female-only household. It has little to do with the quality of the woman, and much to do with the lack of a quality man.

 

[portascat]

Thank you, Lonestar.
I am here all week, and drink specials start at 7pm.

 

[cyndi]

Actually that line was just as much a joke as the guys saying the woman should be in the kitchen making a sammich or the picture of the hairbrush. I'm as immune to reddit and chan humor as they come, but covert sexism pushes my buttons every time.
People who live together in a monogamous relationship have to be partners. Where I'm weak, he's strong and vice versa. We respect each other, we are equally yoked (to go Biblical...), and we work as a unit. For 15 years, where there's one of us, there's the other. I don't actually consider myself a feminist because I don't happen to believe women are any better than men. I believe that we are people and we should lean towards our strengths and use them for the good of our family. I appreciate when a man holds a door for me and I would never be mad at a man for being chivalrous. I just demand the same respect as any other member of the human race. I respect my father and my husband and both of them are worthy of that respect. Neither one is a blithering idiot nor incapable of success. My parents have been married for 32 years and have 3 children who still live within 50 miles of them. (Interesting side note: my parents met in military school for meteorologists - they held the same rank, one in the Air Force and the other in the Navy - and married 6 weeks later because the military was about to send them to different bases.) I have been married for 12 years and 2 years ago, we adopted a sibling group of 3 children - 2 boys and a girl - so I'd say we're leading a successful and fulfilling life.

 

[portascat]

My sexism is rarely covert.
Sounds like you are doing well.

 

[tslex]

@Cyndi:
Reading your last post I find we are in as near to total accord as one can hope to be this side of glory -- no differences that would seem to matter much. (I certainly took your prior statement too seriously and took it to be more comprehensive than you meant it to be. My apologies. (Curse the interweb and its lack of eye contact.))
As an adopted child myself I honor your choice to adopt -- and to adopt three siblings makes you quite the hero in my view. That is an amazing gift to have given them.
(And I loved the quick story about your folks. Growing up in that house I trust you never had a picnic ruined by an unexpected shower -- two military meteorologists. Nifty.)

 

[cyndi]

tslex - the internet does screw with comprehension for both writer and reader. That, and my Dad was on the phone nearly in tears because my 4 yo nephew just threw a toy through his 55" flat screen and he couldn't find the warranty paperwork.
And our kids are great. :D They're the family God had planned for us, we just didn't get to know it right away. The youngest 2 came to us as an emergency foster placement and we later found out that there were 7 siblings and one had been lost by the state. It took me 8 months, but I found him and convinced the agency that he was going to be our kid too. People tell us we did something great... but once we met them, we didn't have a choice. They were ours and now they're as legally ours as if I squeezed them out myself. They all look so much like bootleg that his sister-in-law said "I'd think my husband had been out screwing around if I didn't know better."
The nifty thing about meteorologist parents is that you don't get picnics - you get visits to space museums, an intimate knowledge of the inner workings of weather channels, and the stories about the "good ole days" were about when they cleared the plane that was carrying the space shuttle to land. One of my first toys was a circuitry set... we were not normal children. LOL

 

[fredvegas]

If "not learning science" is normal, then I don't want my kids to be normal.

 

[cyndi]

Age of the geek, baby!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ht5n_ketYQ

 

[mjtannen]

@Seakayak: The guys and gal on this thread don't realize that you and I are friends. When I travel down to Florida and we have our planned lunch together, we are definitely going to smoke our pipes, have some scotch and then shoot some rounds at the range. Not all men do these things but some of us do. So while others are off on a debating society tangent, you and I are going to have a great manly day. Hope your neck is fully healed and you and your wife can escape the summer heat. Best regards, brother.

 

[locopony]

Denying the other something that makes them happy when it is affordable is being a controlling a$$

 

[fredvegas]

I think that comes down to communication, then. Both parties need to be aware of the household's financial situation and then they will both be aware of what's affordable.

 

[misterrogers]

I think that comes down to communication, then. Both parties need to be aware of the household's financial situation and then they will both be aware of what's affordable.

Hear hear. While not the same beast, I am in a similar situation. This deals with my own money, but seeing as I am a mere college student and still am somewhat dependent on my parents; I must still answer to them. I bought about 20 estate pipes for a grand total of one hundred dollars. My mum and sister come up to me, babbling on "How can you spend one hundred dollars on little pieces of wood?"
I calmly turn to them, and point to their Coach purse. "How can you spend three hundred dollars on the skin of a dead cow?" Rightfully shut their mouths for a good month. I think you just need to explain it logically. As long as you didn't take a second mortgage out on the house, calmly explain that it's something you care about.

 

[locopony]

I never invalidated the need for communication. I did say I don't have respect for the "man" who says. "My wife will not let me". There is no shame in saying a don't have the money for such things. I also feel the same about the wife who says " my husband won't let me". There again if its not affordable now is one thing. Quite another to 1 allow someone to controll you, and 2 to deny the other something that will make them happy.

 

[locopony]

If you are still depending on moms money you answer yes mam or no mam. Cause she could and should cut ya off for getting too out ta hand with her money. Sis can keep her trap shut on the matter, its not her money to say. Mom should shut her up though not you.

My college boy son would not dream of pointing out my expenditures. He has too much respect for me than that. I do help him with his discretionary funds though. I tell him if he is being unwise with his money. He has yet to disappoint me.

 

[fredvegas]

I bought about 20 estate pipes for a grand total of one hundred dollars. My mum and sister come up to me, babbling on "How can you spend one hundred dollars on little pieces of wood?"

Twenty pipes for $100? So $5 a pipe? Show her how much an average pipe costs. Not even a high end, but an average store-bought pipe. When she finds out you're getting 90% off, she'll probably commend you for your thriftiness without having to even bring up her expenditures. Even better, clean up a few of those pipes and sell them, and you're actually making money.
I agree with locopony that it's not wise to point out the manicure on the hand that feeds you.

 

[misterrogers]

I show and give respect. It is my duty, and my mother knows that when I speak up, it is because I feel something must be said. Being respectful and explaining my logic are different, and she agreed to that. Unlike like the sister, she understands my hobby now, and enjoys listening to me ramble about deals I missed.
But I do plan to sell a few, or even give one or two as a gift to a friend.
Plus, I'm a huge mommas boy. Nothing better than helping her in the kitchen, getting free samples of the best damn food in all of Ohio.

 

[maduroman]

i tell the parole officer that i bought a buncha tobacco and she just has to deal with it.... and after being revoked i get plenty of quiet time to set n smoke while the warden decieds what to do with me.