Honked off Mrs

[portascat]

Strange how it went there, to beating women.
I don't condone it, and wouldn't put up with it in my circle of influence.
Trying to figure out the control part, too. Never felt a need to do so.
Did find a need to be with a woman who didn't need someone else to control her, as she could do it her ownself.
A woman with self control.....awesome thing.

 

[cyndi]

I'll agree that Bootleg found a good one. I'm at least entertaining. But yeah - marriage is meant to be a partnership. A good couple operates as a unit and respects that neither one can do it alone.
But then again, I'm in the same hot water as the OP - I came home with a new Guess bag and matching wallet... I normally don't get in too much trouble unless I come home with a dog. :D

 

[collindow]

I'll agree with the whole "anti-wife beating" sentiment. If I find that my buddy starts beating the woman he's about to marry, I'll deal with him swiftly.

As far as the whole partnership dealie, it can be equal as long as the woman stays in the kitchen like she should!

 

[portascat]

As far as the whole partnership dealie, it can be equal as long as the woman stays in the kitchen like she should!

It is said a wife needs to be good in two rooms. The kitchen is certainly one of them.

 

[zunismoke]

Guess I got a goodun. She never complains about purchases And I always smoke in the house! I have to put up with her cigs though. She did get a little upset one time when I traded a 200g tin of Balkan Sobranie for a Tao Billiard. She knew what I could have got for it on ebay. Convinced her is was a good trade.

 

[jimbo]

I've never tried that ball-and-chain stuff, but I recall an insightful quiz in a magazine a while back. "Do you have a GOOD Wife?" One section was:
Your wife allows you to chew tobacco= ADD 10 points.
Your wife allows you to chew tobacco in the house. ADD 20 points.
Your wife allows you to set up a spitoon in center of the living room so you can practice your marksmsnship. ADD 50 points.
Your wife chews tobacco herself. OPEN CHOICE. ADD or DEDUCT 100 points.
:rofl:

 

[jimbo]

I've never tried that ball-and-chain stuff, but I recall an insightful quiz in a magazine a while back. "Do you have a GOOD Wife?" One section was:
Your wife allows you to chew tobacco= ADD 10 points.
Your wife allows you to chew tobacco in the house. ADD 20 points.
Your wife allows you to set up a spitoon in center of the living room so you can practice your marksmsnship. ADD 50 points.
Your wife chews tobacco herself. OPEN CHOICE. ADD or DEDUCT 100 points.
:rofl:

 

[bubbadreier]

Okay here is what I do for my wife.... Buy her something distracting, like a new movie or makeup!

 

[goodkat]

How much did you spend? The wife shouldn't notice $50-$100 out of your wallet.

 

[igloo]

Mine asks why I didnt place a order this month . Lucky me . :nana:

 

[locopony]

If important things have been neglected she may be right in being po'd. If not tell her this. I am shure if you look hard enough there is something better than this to be mad about. Then go down the list. Then ask her if she in want or need. Then end like this; Its tough to be bitter, old, hateful, and alone.

The most valuable thing I ever said to my wife is this. "I don't like being around you because you are a judgemental bitter person. You were not that way when we met." That was after the little checklist thing I discribed above. Then while we were in town over the next few weeks I pointed out to her; bitter old women, and the repulsive way they apeared while hen pecking a sweet looking old man. She felt great empathy for the old grandfatherly fellows. Improvemnent occured dramatically at first and even more gradually over the years. we have been 16 years married now.

mjtannen is correct. I hate to hear some guy say oh my wife wouldn't let me have a motorcycle (or what ever was the subject topic). My answer is Thats odd I wouldn't let her have a say in the matter. The funny thing is my wife is happy and even smiles more often than not. Where these guys wives I never see smiling.

The is a radio guy you should listen to ,Dennis Prager, http://www.prageruniversity.com/Life-Studies/. You should get the book "happiness is a serious issue".

 

[tslex]

I realize a pipe forum isn't a marriage forum, but . . .
We have a pretty old-fashioned, Ephesians 5 marriage. My wife is a precious, beloved partner. I could not respect, admire or love her more. She is a powerful, strong, professional and competent woman. I treasure her beyond measure. Our marriage has some fairly defined roles and those are traditional in nature. In simplest terms, I'm the head of my household.
I realize this doesn't work for everyone -- certainly if you're not a believer, then some aspects of our marriage wouldn't make sense to you. It's all tied up with the notion of "servant leadership" -- the opposite of anything oppressive or overbearing -- and "biblical submission" -- in a sense that doesn't lessen the person in any manner at all.
But no matter what your worldview, I think you have to deal with this truth: In any marriage, there will be a leader. It is a partnership, of course, but where a man and woman join, someone IS going to be the leader. Put another way, every marriage has a head of the household. The only question is who is that in your house.

 

[ace57]

My Lady just droped over $87 on My pipen. I'm luky.

 

[seakayak]

My wife remains opposed to all things tobacco. To avoid conflict, I always maintain a small stash of money squirreled away in a wooden cigar box. All pipe related purchases are strictly cash and carry. This suggestion doesn't help solve your current crisis, but it may prevent future conflicts.

 

[mjtannen]

Interesting post for a guy who is a family/marriage therapist. You realize brother that you are avoiding conflict by cheating. Why not just come out into the sunshine and explain that you are a man, and that there are certain pleasures that men pursue. A pipe, a shot of whiskey and an hour at the gun range are all simple pleasures that please a guy. If you can't get that across to your wife, there is no hope for the rest of manhood.

 

[fredvegas]

There's no hope for "manhood", it if relies on alcohol, tobacco, and firearms.
If your wife truly is your partner (and not just your servant), then honesty is the best policy. Talk beforehand and decide on a monthly discretionary budget for each of you. Anything within that budget is fair game. If something comes along that exceeds that budget, permission must be asked (by either party).

 

[portascat]

There's no hope for "manhood", it if relies on alcohol, tobacco, and firearms

wow.
I suppose on some deep philosophical level you are absolutely correct.
Here is hoping I never get drunk enough to swim that deep.

 

[fredvegas]

Do you think you have to engage in those things to be a "man"? Do you think someone is a man just because they do those things?
"Manhood" should be bigger than that. To me, being a man has to do with honesty, integrity, and being a good family member, among other things. Lying to your wife is not manly.

 

[cyndi]

Hey, that fredvegas guy is a pretty smart dude.

 

[portascat]

To be honest, a woman commenting on the virtues that make up "manhood" is, to put it in pipe terms, much like the person in the room commenting on the qualities of the smokers choice in tobacco. It is the opinion of the observer, not the observed. A woman can enjoy said virtues, but really has no real perspective past that enjoyment.
Things like honesty, integrity, and the like are not "manly virtues", or if they are they are equally qualified as womanly virtues, which makes them not unique to a particular sex.
Being a man has many facets, in terms of "manly virtues", but one of the consistent qualities of the same is maintaining a consistency of philosophy over time, regardless of the way an outsider might view it, as long as "the man" considers it just and satisfying to himself.
Certainly one does not have to "be a man" to own, or even enjoy, a weapon, a pipe, or a bottle of spirits. But the expression of manhood often entails these things, and many others. As such, I tend to enjoy all three at times.
To risk abusing William S., and to cap the point of the philosophy of manhood and how women tend to view it, and the denunciation of certain pastimes and objects in its putrsuits:
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,

Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."